


Love In Places We Know And Don't

by boos_pledis



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Anxiety, Dating, Defensiveness, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Smut, Exes, Family Fluff, Feelings, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hardships, Insecurities, Kid!Sehun, M/M, Poor, Rich - Freeform, Single Dad!Junmyeon, Single Dad!Yifan, Single Parents, family fic, family love, kid!kyungsoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 47,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24909133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boos_pledis/pseuds/boos_pledis
Summary: Junmyeon, a single father.Yifan, also a single father.Even though their worlds and struggles are different, fate has an idea for the two, and it starts with Junmyeon's horrible flirting.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Wu Yi Fan | Kris
Comments: 33
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KpopOverloaded](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KpopOverloaded/gifts).



> this was literally only supposed to be a one shot so...here's a story i wrote unintentionally

Junmyeon never thought it possible to fall in love with someone at first sight, but here he was, taking side glances of the man beside him and feeling the strangest urge to get to know him and talk to him. Okay, he's being dramatic, no he's not in love with the stranger beside him, but he does feel the urgency behind the want and almost _need_ to talk to the stranger. At the moment, he holds himself back, however, seeing as the man is on the phone with his timbre voice pitched low so Junmyeon won't hear him. He's arguing with someone, his brow furrowed and lowered in a frustrated manner. 

He doesn't want to pry, so he turns and looks back to where his son, his pride and joy, his little angel, Kyungsoo, is by himself, with some toys for the sand. Junmyeon was afraid it would get lost or some kid would take it with them if they got their hands on it, but once Kyungsoo looked him in the eyes and asked one more time, he couldn't say no to his child. Kyungsoo wasn't a brat by any means, rarely exploited Junmyeon's weakness for his big, doe eyes, but there were times he would if it was something he really, really wanted. 

Though it's been hard managing to raise Kyungsoo himself, he's only grown fonder of the little boy. His mother took off the day after she gave birth to him, ignoring the doctors orders for rest after birth and leaving Junmyeon with an infant who he took immediate responsibility for. 

Kyungsoo was his son, he was his life, and despite the hard times they had, he wouldn't trade Kyungsoo for anything in the world. 

He tunes back into the world when he hears the man let out a harsh sigh, pulling the phone away from his ear and shoving it roughly in his pocket. The man was handsome, but it was easy to tell that he was in terrible condition. Dark circles sit under his eyes, his long, black hair is disheveled, and the frown lines are deeply embedded into his features. Junmyeon would know, he's been to that place a couple times himself. 

Junmyeon glances at his son to check on him, noticing that the kid the man beside him came with, Sehun, as the attractive stranger had called him had just stolen Kyungsoo's shovel that he was using to pat the sand in his bucket down nicely. He knew his son would take care of it himself, get it back from the other boy by saying something or just snatching it back, but he thought that maybe he could use this topic to spark conversation. 

"Hey, um," Junmyeon pokes the man beside him and the man turns at him, his eyes almost in a frantic state. 

"Yes?" His eyes are crazed, sizing up Junmyeon immediately and narrowing his eyes. 

"Your kid just took my son's shovel." Maybe this wasn't the best conversation starter and maybe Junmyeon should've thought it through better. 

The man huffs irritatedly and stands to his full height, storming over to his child and the child looking back up at him with the shovel in hand. Junmyeon hurried after him and stood and watched as the man squats down and takes his child's arm gently. "Sehun, we talked about this, we don't steal toys from other kids." 

"But-but I wan-wan' p-play with him..." The little boy excuses himself, looking like he's about to cry, though Junmyeon can't tell if it's to get out of the punishment or not. 

"Then we ask, Hunnie, okay? So give it back right now." The man tells his son calmly, but there's a clear authority to the tone behind it. 

Sehun obeys and hands it back to which Kyungsoo responds by glaring and snatching the shovel back. Junmyeon rolls his eyes at Kyungsoo's behavior. 

"Your kid didn't have to snatch it back." The man mutters under his breath while standing and towering over Junmyeon. 

Junmyeon looks at him with a raised eyebrow and on reflex, defends his child. "Your kid didn't have to steal it in the first place if you taught him properly." He immediately regrets the statement as the man flinches and he watches as tears fill the man's eyes. 

He's speechless, the man is _crying_ over what he just said, only a couple tears able to actually run down before he captures his composure again and wipes them away rough. Junmyeon realizes how mean the statement was and thinks, _you're trying to flirt with him, not drive him away._

"Look, I-I don't know why I just said that, I'm really sorry." Junmyeon is really no better than Sehun at the moment. "This is really embarrassing to admit, but I-I was trying to flirt with you because I think you're really attractive and...wow, how pathetic is that." Junmyeon looks down and mentally scolds himself. 

The man takes another look at him and says, "What's your name?" 

"I-I'm Junmyeon." Junmyeon bends down awkwardly and pats Kyungsoo's head lightly. "And this here is my son, Kyungsoo." 

"I'm Yifan, this is Sehun as you must already know." He responds, gesturing to the little boy sniffling by his side. 

Junmyeon also hates seeing kids cry if he's learned anything from taking care of Kyungsoo, so he bends down and looks at Sehun. "Hey, Sehun, I'm sorry I told your dad about what you did, but let's ask next time, buddy, I'm sure, Kyungsoo would've said yes." Sehun looks at him from beneath his eyelashes and nods while simultaneously moving to hide behind the man, Yifan's, leg shyly. "He's absolutely adorable." Junmyeon says while standing up and looking at Yifan. Then his eyes widen with a sudden realization, "Oh my god, I didn't even think about if you were married or not. Or if you were even gay. Are you married? and straight? I'm so sorry if you are." 

Yifan just shakes his head quietly, "No, to both. This little sucker's all mine." He peaks over his shoulder and smiles, bringing his hand up to Sehun's head and ruffling his hair down gently. 

Junmyeon sighs in relief. "Oh, good because that would've been totally awkward." His tone is weird and he thinks that he only made it awkward by doing it. "Um, well, if you're up to it, would you like to accompany Kyungsoo and I to the cafe? I wouldn't mind buying you and Sehun here a drink and a pastry." It's a subtle way of asking him out and even though the kids will be there, Junmyeon gives himself a mental pat on the back for the smooth transition. 

Yifan bites his lip in contemplation, but then Sehun is tugging on his pant leg and nodding his head frantically. So he accepts, "Yeah, sure, why not?" He shrugs. 

Junmyeon takes the win and tells Kyungsoo to collect his sand bucket and shovel. Kyungsoo listens obediently and after walks up to his father, "Appa, I'm tired, I want the stroller." 

"Okay, moomoo." Junmyeon replies mindlessly, pushing a hand out and signalling Kyungsoo to hold it for safety reasons. After taking his son's hand, he nods his head towards the parking lot to tell Yifan to bring Sehun and to follow him there. 

They all walk together and Junmyeon walks up to his car, opening the back and taking the pale with the shovel from his son. He places it in the trunk and grabs out Kyungsoo's stroller; he never goes anywhere without it, his baby gets tired easily. 

"So would you rather drive or is walking okay with you?" Junmyeon glances back at Yifan as he unfolds the stroller. 

Yifan's eyes linger on his car, which just so happens to be the newest version of the Audi. He moves his gaze to Junmyeon and scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. "I don't have a car." 

"Oh," Junmyeon doesn't think much of it, he's only a bit surprised, "well, walking it is then." He smiles and finally finishes setting up the stroller. Kyungsoo climbs into it once he's able to and turns around, situating himself in it. Junmyeon turns it to face him and fastens the little seat beat around Kyungsoo. 

As he does this, he hears Sehun murmur to Yifan, "Do I get turn in stro-er, Baba?" 

"No, Sehun, it's his stroller." Yifan replies quickly. 

Junmyeon finishes with the seat belt and looks to the two. "I have a back up stroller if you wanna use it? This one is for everyday uses, I have the other just in case I ever forget it and Kyungsoo gets tired." 

Yifan is already rejecting the offer. "No, we couldn't possibly do that to you, you're already taking us to the cafe." 

"Oh no, I seriously don't mind. I'm totally okay with it." Junmyeon catches the pleading look Sehun gives Yifan. "Oh come on, look at Sehun's face, he would really like too." If Sehun looked at him like that, he would surely give him what he wanted, the little kid was too cute. 

"We're fine. Sehun's been walking for a while and he's doing just fine, there's no need." Yifan looks down at his son and gives a challenging eyebrow. 

However, instead of submitting at the intimidating look, Sehun just glares back. " _Baba, I want it._ " He says in Chinese and oh, is this child serious. 

" _I said no, Hunnie._ " Yifan switches to Chinese as well. 

" _Baba. I. want. it._ " Sehun replies, slowly, basically demanding what he wants. 

Yifan only smirks and says, this time in Korean, "Go ahead, throw a tantrum, you know I won't give you what you want." 

The interaction is so interesting, Junmyeon has never seen anything like it before. He rarely ever says no, let alone scolds his child, but to watch Yifan continually say no while knowing that Sehun is threatening a tantrum, it's amazing. 

Sehun huffs and just pouts, crossing his arms. "Baba mean." He mutters with sass in his tone quietly, but loud enough for Yifan to hear, he even switched back to Korean so Junmyeon and Kyungsoo would understand. 

"Shall we begin walking?" Yifan asks, giving a polite smile and gesturing to the street. 

Junmyeon smiles back and nods, closing the trunk. The three start walking with Junmyeon pushing Kyungsoo in the stroller and they make it to the cross walk. 

Sehun had seemingly let go of the issue beforehand because when he glances over, Sehun is holding Yifan's hand tightly, and looks unbothered. 

"How did you do that?" Junmyeon finds himself asking, looking into Yifan's eyes. 

"Do what?" Yifan questions in reply. 

"How did you say 'no' to him like that? He was threatening a tantrum and you just...smirked at him." Junmyeon says, his brow furrowing in confusion. 

Yifan shrugs. "He threatens tantrums all the time. Plus if I gave him what he wanted, he wouldn't learn. Sehun has managed without a stroller thus far, there's no reason to use one if he's only gonna grow out of it. I can carry him if I see he's really fatigued." 

The answer makes Junmyeon think about how he is with Kyungsoo. Junmyeon gives him basically everything he asks for, save for the special times Junmyeon has denied, but Kyungsoo isn't a brat. He doesn't take advantage and he listens to Junmyeon, cleans up his toys without being told, knows when it's time to wrap up and go to Junmyeon so they can get ready for bed and go to sleep. 

The more he thinks about it, he thinks his own way of parenting is great. Just because someone else raises their child in a certain way, doesn't mean he has to change what he's doing. 

"Very interesting." Junmyeon comments as they cross the street and quickly arrive at the cafe on the corner. 

He goes to a table and maneuvers the stroller beside it, taking Kyungsoo out of it and setting his baby down on the seat before closing up the stroller and sliding it under the table. "You two sit down and tell me what you want, my treat." Junmyeon smiles excitedly.

Sehun doesn't hesitate. "Hot chocolate an' cake!" 

"Okay, cutie, what kind of-" Junmyeon is in the middle of agreeing with Sehun when Yifan interrupts. 

"No, Hunnie. No cake." Yifan denies him again. 

Sehun whines to the older man. "Baba, say no to stro-er. Can I please have chocolate cake?" He pouts at him, using sad, kicked puppy dog eyes. Junmyeon is almost compelled to help him beg for it. 

Yifan stares at his son and takes a moment to ponder. "Fine." He gives this time. "Only this once, it has been a while since you've last had dessert."

Sehun squirms with happiness and grins brightly at his father. "Yay! Thank you, Baba." 

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, kid." Yifan reaches over and ruffles his hair but fails to hide his fond smile.

The smile is breathtaking and Junmyeon has to stop himself from being sucked in so he doesn't embarrass himself. "Um, Yifan, what would you like?" 

"Just a black coffee, please." Is all he replies. 

"Black coffee?" Junmyeon makes a face. "Okay. Do you want a pastry with it? Maybe something to offset from the bitterness."

"No, a black coffee will be just fine." Yifan brushes off his offer. 

Junmyeon huffs and cocks his hip, putting a sassy hand on it. "Come on, Yifan. You can get something better than black coffee, that's literally the cheapest thing on the menu." 

Yifan shakes his head. "I actually happen to like black coffee. And really, I'm fine. I'm not feeling a snack right now."

Junmyeon sighs in defeat. "Fine. I'll be right back, watch Kyungsoo for me please." He turns to his child. "Be good while Appa's gone, okay, moomoo?" And at Kyungsoo's nod, Junmyeon leaves to order and get the drinks. 

With the efficiency of the cafe, Junmyeon is able to order and get their tray of drinks and snacks to their table in under ten minutes. He sets it down while Kyungsoo is engaging in conversation with Sehun over the newest pokemon revealed on the show. Well, it's more of him telling Sehun what it is since Sehun had revealed that they don't have a TV at their house. 

"Food." Junmyeon announces after hearing that bit of information from Sehun as he makes it to the table. He sets the slice of cake in front of Sehun along with a small fork and his kids hot chocolate and puts the black coffee down in front of Yifan who thanks him immediately. Kyungsoo has already taken his cup of coco and his banana bread that just came out of the toaster, a small warning from Junmyeon to tag along as he takes it, and Junmyeon situates himself at the table with his sugar diluted latte and a chocolate croissant. 

Sehun is already half way through his cake by the time Junmyeon is situated and he smiles at the way the little kid eats it, chocolate streaks leading away from his mouth as he rushes to taste it. Kyungsoo is breaking off big pieces of his bread and Junmyeon scolds him lightly, "Moomoo, small pieces, I don't want you to choke. Same goes for you, Sehun." He knows he has no right to tell someone else's kid what to do, but he doesn't want Sehun to take on a piece too big. 

Yifan snatches the fork from Sehun's hand. "Listen to Junmyeon, I don't want you choking either." Sehun makes grabby hands for the fork while whining, but Yifan isn't done yet. He reaches over and takes a bit of the cake onto the fork, eating it quickly. Sehun scoffs and glares at his dad, who replies with a mouthful of cake. "Hey, I made you. I'm allowed to do this." Sehun snatches the fork back and sticks his tongue out at his dad to which Yifan does the same. Then Yifan picks up a napkin and wipes away the cake, softly telling Sehun to not make such a mess. Sehun lets him and agrees, starts to eat the cake more carefully than before after his father’s light fussing. Junmyeon can't deny how cute the interaction is. 

It's quiet between them and thankfully not awkward, just everyone enjoying their drinks and/or food. The atmosphere is nice, really nice and Junmyeon would like to think that maybe he can go on a date with Yifan alone next time, if there is a next time and Yifan doesn't totally think Junmyeon is weird or something. 

"Kyungsoo, can tell me 'bout poke-mon again?" I wan' know about pi-u." Sehun asks the older kid. 

"His name is PI-KA-CHU, Sehun, not pi-u. There's so much I have to teach you." Kyungsoo whispers to himself like he's a disappointed middle aged mother. Sometimes Junmyeon wonders about the mental age of his child. 

Junmyeon picks Kyungsoo up and switches places with Sehun so it's easier for them to talk and so he can communicate with Yifan and get to know him better. "So, how old is Sehun?" 

"He's three. Kyungsoo?" Yifan questions politely. 

"Four, just turned four actually, celebrated his birthday not too long ago." Junmyeon elaborates, smiling sweetly at Yifan. "How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?" 

"Twenty-three." Yifan answers. "You?" 

Junmyeon nods, "Uh, I'm twenty-two." 

"Are you in university?" Yifan asks a question this time and Junmyeon is pleasantly surprised. 

He shakes his head. "No, when I had Kyungsoo, I was eighteen and my father had connections into the job I wanted so instead of university, I worked my way up over the years in the company while I took care of my baby, of course with help from my family, and now I'm a publisher and editor. What about you, Yifan? Did you finish school or were you in it?"

Yifan looks hesitant to answer, but he does eventually. "I was in uni when I had Sehun, I couldn't afford to take care of him and attend uni, so I chose Sehun." 

"That's very generous of you, Yifan. You must've sacrificed a lot for Sehun, hmm?" Junmyeon comments. 

Yifan lets his eyes wander over to where Sehun is sipping on his hot chocolate and staring at Kyungsoo intently so he can focus on his words and learn more about pokemon. "Yeah, practically my whole life. But where would I be without him?"

Junmyeon looks at Sehun and then at his own son. "I completely understand that." 

Sehun must've felt Yifan's eyes on him because he turns his head suddenly and makes eye contact with him before smiling widely at him. Yifan smiles back fondly and reaches over, resting his palm on top of Sehun's head and petting instead of ruffling like he usually does. "Baba loves you, Hunnie." 

"Hunnie love Baba too!" He replies enthusiastically, then faces Kyungsoo again so he can learn more.

Yifan chuckles softly and looks back at Junmyeon. Junmyeon is already looking at Yifan though, his eyes analyzing the fondness of his smile, the softness of his eyes, and the plushiness of his cheeks as they puffed slightly when he laughed. "Can I have your number?" Junmyeon found himself blurting out before he could stop. 

Yifan looks at him with a shocked face. "Really? You want _my_ number?" Junmyeon could only nod, the heat on his cheeks almost glowing with embarrassment. Yifan takes a moment before he says, "sure," with a small shrug. 

Junmyeon perks up and immediately digs out his cell, handing it to Yifan. Yifan quickly types in his number and shoots himself a text so he can save Junmyeon’s number as well. Junmyeon beams and bites his lip as he takes the phone back and looks over the contact. "Thank you." He whispers as he clicks the phone off for now. 

"I have to ask," Yifan starts, looking at Junmyeon from under his lashes, "why do you want to get to know me so badly?"

"Well, you're really attractive and that makes me sound kind of shallow, but it's been a while since I've really felt, like, the need to try to talk to anyone and get to know anyone, I guess? It sounds weird, but I promise, I'm not weird." Junmyeon tries his best to save himself, knowing he's shoving his foot into his mouth. 

Taking a sip from his coffee, Yifan hums, watching Junmyeon. "I get that. Once you started talking to me, I kinda feel that, and this is a terrible way of putting it, but I kinda felt some sort of instant connection to you as well...I guess." 

Junmyeon smiles at the revelation. "That's not terrible." He's quick to dismiss. "That's not terrible at all, I-I really like that you feel that way." 

"Then I guess we're both in over our heads." Junmyeon isn’t sure what Yifan means by that, but let's it go when Yifan turns and starts paying attention to the pokemon lesson. Junmyeon is stuck in his head, but he turns towards the two little boys as if he's listening in as well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy :)

Junmyeon sits in his office, Kyungsoo sitting down quietly and attempting to get through a small children's book all by himself while Junmyeon works on emailing different chain stores online to see when he can get the newest client's book on the shelves. One would think some stores wouldn't be as meticulous about what books go into their store or book section, but sometimes they're really picky and Junmyeon must always check before ordering copies through the company and sending it to the stores. 

Little feet pad against the rug and suddenly there's a small whining noise to his left. Junmyeon has to forcefully tear his eyes from the screen and his fingers from the keyboard to see Kyungsoo standing there with his eyes wide and sad as he pouts, his arms up to tell Junmyeon that he wants to be held. 

Junmyeon, never really one to deny his son something as sweet as holding him, picks him up and sets him down on his lap, scooting close enough to the desk and caging his arms around his baby so he won't fall off and so he can return to typing out his email. 

"Appa, what are you doing?" Kyungsoo peers at Junmyeon's email curiously. 

"Appa's writing an email, moos." He replies, not moving his eyes from the screen and allowing his fingers to fly over the keyboard. 

"Why?" Kyungsoo questions, leaning back into Junmyeon's chest and relaxing. 

"Because..." Junmyeon continues typing, pausing his response to the question to finish off the paragraph. He ends the paragraph and tips his head down so that he's looking down at Kyungsoo. "Because I have to get permission from the stores to put books in them." 

"Oh." Kyungsoo's quiet for a second. "Why do you have to do that?" 

"The people that own the store don't want some books in their store. They choose what they want to sell." Junmyeon answers. 

Kyungsoo tilts his head up and their eyes connect. "Why?" 

Junmyeon laughs at his child's behavior. "Because they can do what they want." 

"Why?" Kyungsoo's "why"'s are getting relentless, but Junmyeon answers the best he can regardless. 

"Because they have free will, and free will lets you choose to do whatever you want. But you must keep in mind the levels of respect too, as well as who's above you." Junmyeon pushes Kyungsoo's hair away from his forehead and smacks a big kiss on it, making an obnoxious noise to accompany it. 

Kyungsoo giggles and turns in his father's lap, hugging him tightly. Junmyeon squeezes him back with a bright smile. "I love you, moomoo."

Kyungsoo snuggles further into Junmyeon's tummy. "I love you too!" 

Junmyeon's fingers are quick to work over his child's body, having him squirm to get away. "You're so darn cute!" Junmyeon exclaims as he tickles him. 

"Appa, no!" Kyungsoo squirms violently as Junmyeon tickles him, he maneuvers them so Kyungsoo won't fall out of his lap or hurt himself on the desk. 

It goes on for a couple more minutes before Kyungsoo is released from the torture, his high pitched giggles echoing in the room. Junmyeon looks down at his son and rubs gentle, calming circles into his small back. "You okay, moos?" Kyungsoo nods and leans forward, resting on his Appa's chest. "Take a nap, moomoo, it's almost naptime anyway. More rest will help you grow big and strong." Kyungsoo hums in agreement, closing his eyes. 

Junmyeon moves the hand on Kyungsoo’s back up to the back of Kyungsoo's head and soothingly pets his hair down. He starts to hum a soothing lullaby along with his movements, watching his son as he falls asleep rather quickly. 

With a fond smile, Junmyeon gets up and holds his son. He walks light-footed to his son's room and opens the door, setting him down in the bed. His body is a bit heavier now that he's asleep, but nothing would ever stop Junmyeon from holding his kid, even if he's considered much too big and much too old for it, if Kyungsoo asked, he would do it. 

"Good night, my little angel." Junmyeon whispers and then closes the door, walking back to his office to continue working. "I think I'll fix some lunch when he wakes up..." Junmyeon mutters to himself as he sits down in his chair and continues his email. 

His phone beeps a few minutes after he sends the email, Junmyeon pleasantly surprised when he figures out that it's a text from Yifan. 

It's a simple message, just a small "hey", but Junmyeon is absolutely elated. Him and Yifan have been texting back and forth for a couple days now, but it's only been casual back and forth conversation, getting to know small things about each other, it hasn't been too much. 

But Junmyeon gets so engaged in the conversations, he loves learning the little things about Yifan. He's so...interesting and mysterious, obviously that's not all that draws him to Yifan, but it's part of it. There's always something new to learn about him. 

So instead of texting this time, he calls Yifan. Yes, Junmyeon is being  _ that  _ person at the moment. 

"Hi." Junmyeon says when the line picks up. 

"Hey, uh, I wasn't expecting you to call." Yifan replies. 

"Oh, is-is this a bad time or something? Cause if it is I can-" Yifan interrupts him. 

"No, no, that's not what I meant, I just didn't think you would call when I texted. That's all. But this is nice, this is fine, I don't mind talking to you like this. Hearing your voice is-uh, good." Yifan rambles. 

Junmyeon smirks a bit and teases him. "You're rambling...are you nervous, Yifan?" 

He can hear a scoff from the other side. "Me? Nervous, no, of course not, I'm not nervous, why would I be nervous? I'm only talking to you and there's no reason to be nervous at all-"

"You're rambling again, Yifan." Junmyeon teases him some more, finding this activity fun. He can imagine a glowing red painting his cheeks. 

Yifan just gives another scoff. "Fine, maybe I'm a little nervous." 

"Well, maybe we can have coffee sometime next week and I can help you get over your nerves?" Junmyeon shoots his shot, chewing on his bottom lip anxiously. 

"A-alone or with our kids?" Yifan responds with a question. 

"Alone. Next Thursday I have a meeting in the morning and Kyungsoo's babysitter is coming to watch him. Maybe we could meet after for coffee?" Junmyeon questions hopefully. 

Yifan is quiet for a moment. "...I guess I can see if my neighbor can watch Sehun for a couple hours that day. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't mind." 

"Okay!" Junmyeon agrees quickly, biting his bottom lip to stop from grinning like an idiot. "It's a date. I'll see you Thursday." 

"Thursday." Yifan murmurs in concord. 

They hang up and Junmyeon has to stop himself from squealing so he doesn't wake up Kyungsoo and make him grumpy. 

  
  


\- AT YIFAN'S PLACE - 

  
  


Yifan sits on the couch and stares at his phone, his lips tilted upwards a bit. There was just something about Junmyeon that always made him smile like he couldn't help it, it wasn't his fault, it was so...automatic. 

"Baba." Sehun calls, his toy dinosaur forgotten as he crawls and then stands up. "Was mama again?" 

The smile slips off his face almost immediately at the mere mention of Sehun's mother. "No, it wasn't mama. I wouldn't be smiling if it was your mother, Hunnie." 

"Oh." Sehun says and starts trying to climb onto the couch. "Who it was?" He grunts as he tries to pull himself up. 

"Junmyeon...again." Yifan watches his child trying to climb on the cushion, Sehun grunting with more effort. 

Sehun is constantly slipping off and it's only the fifth time when he finally whines at Yifan. "Baba, hel' me..." He pouts and frustrated tears collect in his eyes.

"You can do it, bub, just keep going." He advises his son and continues to sit back and watch. 

Sehun pouts even more and starts crying, shaking his head. "Baba. I c-can't do..." The tears fall in rapid succession and it makes Yifan's heartache that he has to keep up a front just to get Sehun to keep going. 

Yifan leans forward and uses his big hand to wipe away the tears on Sehun's tiny cheeks. "Yes, you can, bubs, you know why? Because I believe in you. You can do it, now do it." He motivates before moving away and watching Sehun's small hands clutch the sofa. If Sehun doesn't get on soon, then he'll help him, but for now he sees what his child can do.

With another huff, this one more determined than the last, Sehun starts climbing and he does slip back down a couple more times before he takes a big hop and climbs simultaneously, and just like that, he's on the couch. He smiles and the tears start disappearing as he realizes that he did it all by himself. "Baba, I do it! All by self!" 

Yifan laughs and takes his son into his arms. "See, I told you, Hunnie. You can do anything and Baba will always believe in you." 

Sehun snuggles into his father's side and hugs him tightly. "Okay, Baba." 

"Do you know why Baba made you do that, bubs?" Sehun shakes his head in Yifan's chest and crawls into his lap. Yifan waits until he's situated. "Well, Baba wanted to teach you that you can do anything as long as you keep trying and never give up. And look, you kept going and you did it, Hunnie. All by yourself. Baba's proud of you, bubs." 

"Baba, wha's pr-oun-d?" Sehun asks curiously, turning his head up like a confused puppy. 

Yifan sighs and thinks of how to describe it to his child. "Proud, well, proud means...that I like what you did, that you were a good boy for Baba." 

Sehun's eyes glitter at the praise. "Really? Sehunnie is a good boy?" 

Yifan chuckles and presses a kiss to Sehun's forehead. "Yes, Sehunnie, you're a very good boy." He pats Sehun's back. "Are you hungry?" 

Sehun takes a minute and then nods his little head. "Yeah. Hunnie wan' rice!"

"Rice with what?" Yifan asks. 

"More rice!" Sehun practically cheers, his little arms going up with excitement at the prospect of food. 

Yifan laughs. "I can't just feed you rice, Hunnie. What do you want with it? Some meat? Kimchi?" 

"Meat and kimchi!" Sehun cheers again and Yifan smiles. 

"Whatever you want, bubs, I'll do my best." Yifan stands with Sehun in his arms and puts him on his hip. He opens the cupboard and finds a depleted bag of rice, enough to make one cup. 

He thinks about going down the hall to see if the older lady that lives there has left over kimchi because he's certain they don't have any. He also checks to see if they have any meat and luckily he scores enough for Sehun to eat.

"You wanna come with Baba to ask for kimchi?" Yifan asks, setting the meat next to the rice on the counter. 

Sehun wraps his arms around his neck. "Yes." He answers quietly, laying his head on Yifan's shoulder. 

Yifan pats his back and exits their apartment, walking down the hall to where Miss Jung lives. He knocks on the door and knows that she'll answer in a bit, she doesn't go anywhere now-a-days, she'll be home more days than not. 

The door opens and reveals a little old lady. "Oh! Yifan! How nice it is to see you and your little kid. How are you, baby?" She directs the last question to Sehun. 

Sehun smiles at her cutely and replies sweetly. "I’m good! How are you?" 

Miss Jung chuckles. "I'm good, child, thank you for asking. So what brings you to see me, Yifan?" 

"We wanted some kimchi with our lunch and we were wondering if you had any to spare. But just spare kimchi, we don't wanna take it unless you're not going to eat it." Miss Jung smiles at Yifan's reply, she knew about the money troubles they had and wanted to help out as best she could, she knew how hard it was to raise a kid alone. 

"Oh, please, you're not asking that much of me. I have plenty of kimchi to spare, too much to eat all by myself anyway, it would only go to waste. Come sit down inside while you wait, I'll be right back." Miss Jung says and moves out of the way, going to her kitchen. 

Yifan sits on the couch with Sehun and waits patiently, looking around at the inside of her apartment for what he thinks is the billionth time. They come and keep her company every now and then since they rarely ever see her family visit her. She's very nice and one day Yifan plans on paying her back for everything she's done for them. 

Ever since the day they moved in, she's only been generous and kind hearted. Especially the day she figured out that Yifan was having money troubles and they had a nice long chat about how she would voluntarily watch Sehun while he works at night. 

To quote her, "I have nothing better to do anyway," so Yifan brings Sehun over and takes him back in the morning while he's still asleep. It makes Yifan feel better knowing he has someone he trusts watching Sehun. 

She comes back with a bowl of kimchi and breaks Yifan out of his thoughts. As he's taking the bowl, he decides to ask her, "would you like to have lunch with us?" 

Miss Jung immediately brightens up. "Well, of course, I would, dear. How nice of you."

"It's the least I could do." Yifan replies. "Let me just go grab some stuff from my apartment."

"Oh no, dearest, just use what I have here, why don't you? I have plenty of enough." She dismisses with no room for argument in her tone. 

Yifan smiles at her and sets Sehun down, kissing the top of his head before going over to make them all lunch. 

And that's how Yifan ended up staying there for the rest of the afternoon until he had to leave to get himself ready for work. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me if you want: [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)  
> comments and kudos always appreciated!  
> hope y'all have a good day and stay safe !!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hope you like it!

It's Thursday and Junmyeon is dressed to impress. He's wearing his favorite black turtleneck sweater matched with black jeans and a Gucci belt along with the matching black Gucci sunglasses that are resting on top of his head. He had put on black dress shoes to complete the look for his date. 

He doesn't usually dress this nice, so it was kind of funny seeing the looks on his co-workers faces when he comes in dressed like a whole snack and acting like he knows it (cause he does). Junmyeon's confidence only makes him pull off the outfit more and he even receives compliments from his colleagues which he takes in stride with a knowing smirk and a small "thank you". 

Junmyeon walks out of the building feeling like a boss, getting in his Audi and driving off to the place he and Yifan had agreed on. It was the place where they first really got to know each other and Junmyeon loved that Yifan had suggested it, it was the most perfect place for a _real_ first date.

He parks on the street and gets out, finding Yifan already standing outside of the cafe. He smiles widely and calls to him, "Yifan!"

Yifan looks toward the sound of Junmyeon's voice and he gives a small smile. "Hey." 

"Hi." Junmyeon pants out, slightly winded from jogging over to him. 

"Wanna head inside?" Yifan replies, opening the door and gesturing inside. 

Junmyeon nods and thanks Yifan quietly as he walks through, standing in line. While they wait, he turns to Yifan. "Since I asked you on this date, I'm paying." 

"No, let me, Jun, you bought the last time, I'll pay. I saved up for this date specifically." Yifan denies immediately. 

Junmyeon pouts slightly and ignores the way his stomach tumbles at the nickname. "But I was the one that asked you here, come on, Yifan. I really don't mind." 

"I can pay, Jun, it's fine." Yifan tries to fight, but Junmyeon is stubborn. 

"No, I'm paying and that's that." Junmyeon says as they approach the counter. "Do you wanna share a slice of carrot cake?" 

"Sure. That's fine." Yifan shrugs. 

Junmyeon orders his drink and the carrot cake first before glancing at Yifan over his shoulder. "Black coffee, right?" 

Yifan nodded, and had already pulled out his wallet, taking twenty dollars out of it. The moment the lady tells Junmyeon his total and Junmyeon reaches for his own wallet, Yifan hands her the twenty over his shoulder. 

When Junmyeon hears her opening the cash register, he looks up and sees that she's handing Yifan his change. He moves his eyes to Yifan's face with his mouth dropped open in disbelief. He shoves his wallet right back in his pocket and shakes his head as they're told their order will be done soon. 

"I can't believe you, Yifan." He scoffs, but can't hide his smile at the fuzzy feeling in his chest. 

"Why? I'm being a gentleman, I just paid for our first date." Instead of heading to a booth this time, they go to a small table with two chairs. As if to prove himself further, Yifan even pulls out the chair for Junmyeon. 

"Thank you." Junmyeon says as he sits down and checks out Yifan for the first time since they entered. 

Yifan looked stunning. He’s wearing a simple colored t-shirt and blue jeans, his long hair slightly disheveled. However, Junmyeon is certain that Yifan would look good in anything, whether it was a trash bag or the most expensive outfit in the world. 

The attractive man sits down across from him. Junmyeon can't help the next words he more or less blurts out, "You look really hot today."

Heat crawls up his cheeks. He literally could have said every other descriptive word for Yifan's appearance, and what does he choose? Hot? He sounds like a horny teenage boy. Junmyeon is a grown ass man, he should know better and have more control over his vocabulary. He is definitely not whining like a child in his head at what he just said. 

Yifan only smirks and looks down before gazing at Junmyeon from under his eye lashes. "Thank you. You look really 'hot' too." Yifan mocks him, but it's really hot, the way he leaves his mouth open after the end of the sentence. It's like a smile or a smirk, but his mouth is open and it's different in its intensity, in its attractiveness. 

Junmyeon's cheeks glow brighter with his embarrassment. "Thanks." He bites his bottom lip and looks away awkwardly. 

"I'm just messing with you, Junmyeon." Yifan chuckles and smiles broadly. 

"I-I know, but I-I've never had anyone...fluster me so easily." Junmyeon licks his lips nervously. "This is gonna sound weird, but I'm not weird, I swear. I-I actually like the way you did that to me." 

Yifan takes a moment. "Yeah, that is weird, Jun." He laughs and brushes a hand through his hair. 

"Well, I just...I've never had anyone do that to me. Never had feelings intense enough for that." Junmyeon tilts his head down. "Kyungsoo's mother was the only person I was with and I was only with her because I was trying to convince myself I wasn't gay. Coincidentally, that's also why his mother is not apart of his life." 

"Hey," Yifan says and moves his arm across the table, using a finger to tilt Junmyeon's head up, "it's not your fault." 

Junmyeon looks into Yifan's sincere eyes, "Yeah, I know. Sometimes I've gotta repeat it until it finally sticks in my head and gets through to me. She was planning on giving Kyungsoo up for adoption after she gave birth to him."

"Jun, you don't have to tell me this if you don't want to, take your time, think about what you're saying." Yifan interrupts him quickly.

"I accidentally ended up telling her that I was gay the day she went into labor." Junmyeon didn't need to think, he trusted Yifan even if they’ve only hung out once and don’t know a whole lot about each other. "She passed out after the birth, it-it was too much on her. I slept in the waiting room and the morning after, I went to her room and she was gone. She left. Just like that. Didn't even tell them what to do with Kyungsoo...but the moment I saw him, the moment I looked into his little doe eyes, he had me wrapped around his little finger." Junmyeon admits, thinking about his little son. "It was kinda sad though, I had to tell them I was the father since she kept me out of the delivery room. I mean...I didn't even get to watch my own son being born, it wasn't fair, to me or him. But he is my baby, I would give the world just to put a smile on his face." 

Yifan nods. "You're a really good father to him, Junmyeon. You're nice and fair and treat him like a king, I almost wish I was in his shoes." That one pulls a giggle from Junmyeon. 

"I may spoil him, but he's never been a brat." Junmyeon says, "I would know, growing up around people with money. My parents have money and they support me, but my parents only ever bought me what I needed, never really whatever I wanted." 

"I'm glad you're not a stuck up brat. Would've made you less attractive. You being nice and humble, but... _genuine_ , makes you one hundred times more attractive." Yifan comments, smiling at Junmyeon. 

Junmyeon hums nervously and feels his cheeks heat up. "Oh...cool." Is all he finds himself saying. 

"You remember the day we went and how we came here?" Yifan brings up. 

"Of course, I could never forget." Junmyeon answers honestly. 

"Well, I noticed something. You called Kyungsoo, moos or moomoo, something like that, and I was just wondering why?" Yifan asks, staring at Junmyeon in curiosity. 

Junmyeon starts smiling a fond, happy smile. "Uh, Kyungsoo's first words were 'moomoo'. He had some sort of...obsession with cows, _has_ an obsession with cows and though I was mildly disappointed that he didn't say 'Appa' first, I thought it was really cute. 'Appa' was his second word thankfully, but the first time he called me that, I called him moomoo. When I tried to use his real name, he would say 'No, Kun-soo, moomoo'. So it just kinda stuck and now I call him that. It's our little thing." Junmyeon misses his baby and his heart aches at the thought of not being with him, but it gets a bit better when he remembers that he's out on a date with Yifan. 

Yifan's smiling widely, almost like he's smiling for Junmyeon in his own fatherly way. "That's really cute." 

"What about Sehun? Do you have any cute little stories?" Junmyeon asks. 

Yifan lets out a big breath and ponders on the question. "Not one I can think of right now. But if I think one up, I'll definitely tell you about it." Junmyeon nods in understanding and then someone finally brings their drinks and cake. 

Junmyeon takes his sugary drink and moves the cake so that it's in the middle. He picks up the fork and takes a piece of the carrot cake, holding it up for Yifan and pushing it closer to his mouth. 

Yifan's a bit confused by the action and gives Junmyeon a look. "Uh, Jun? What are you doing?" 

"Oh, sorry..." Junmyeon sets down the fork and looks down. "God, that was weird, uh, sorry about that, I guess I'm just used to feeding Kyungsoo."

"No, it's okay, I was just a bit...shocked, is all. I-I wouldn't mind if you fed me, uh." Yifan scratches the back of his head nervously and his cheeks tint with a light pink hue. 

Junmyeon looks up from under his eyelashes. "Really?" And when Yifan nods, Junmyeon takes the fork and holds it up. As Yifan opens his mouth and takes the cake off the fork, Junmyeon finds his mouth opening and biting down on air out of habit. He did it with Kyungsoo and now he's used to it. 

Yifan smiles as he chews and even licks his lips after. "Mmm, that's good." He comments and Junmyeon smiles. Junmyeon brings the fork down into the take and takes off another piece, getting ready to bring it up to his mouth when Yifan's hand grips his own over the fork. "Let me." 

Junmyeon nods once and lets go of the fork so Yifan can feed him. The fork is brought to his lips and he opens his mouth, getting some of the frosting on his lips as he bites and chews the cake. He hums and savors the sugary taste. If there's one thing that Junmyeon cannot get enough of, it's sugar. 

Suddenly, there's a rough texture against his lip and he's surprised to find that it's Yifan's thumb removing the frosting that had caught on his lips. Junmyeon's lips part as Yifan moves his hand back and sucks the frosting off. 

They're in the middle of a restaurant, but Junmyeon can't deny the want that pools in his gut and fills a certain body part down south. Junmyeon is sure Yifan feels it too, the way his gaze grows more intense, how his eyes fill with a glittering lust. 

He has to force his eyes away to break the moment, licking his lips and swallowing nervously. He takes a deep breath before looking back up at Yifan with a small, yet genuine smile. "Yeah, this cake is really good." 

The sexual tension dies down, but it's still there and they continue feeding each other and giving one another glances full of emotion, whether sexual or not, it doesn't matter to either of them. 

Junmyeon is finally finished with his drink when he checks his watch and sighs. "I should get home. I didn't tell Kyungsoo I'd be out later than usual. He might cause the babysitter a bit of trouble." He's conflicted, he wants to stay with Yifan and get to know more about him, but he knows he needs to get home before Kyungsoo throws a fit because Junmyeon has been gone too long. 

"It's okay. I should probably go to Sehun too, he's probably waiting for me." Yifan replies and stands up with his empty coffee cup. 

Junmyeon stands with his cup and their empty plate, placing the tray as well as the dirty dish on top of the trash can like he's supposed to. He walks out with Yifan and desperately tries to think of a way to have more time with Yifan. "How are you getting home?" 

Yifan shrugs nonchalantly. "I was just going to walk, that's how I got here, I...I don't own a car." 

"I can give you a ride, if you want." Junmyeon holds up his keys, really hoping Yifan agrees.

"No, it's okay, I don't wanna trouble you, it's only a thirty minute walk, not too bad." Yifan politely declines. 

Junmyeon huffed in the same way his son would without realizing it. "Let me rephrase: please let me give you a ride, I really want to spend more time with you." 

Yifan's lips tug into a smile and he nods. "Well, when you put it like that, how could I deny you?" 

So they settle into the car together and Junmyeon starts driving to Yifan's house with Yifan directing him. "I thought of a story about Sehun." Yifan is the one to break the silence. 

"Please, do tell. I would love to hear it." Junmyeon says as he makes a right turn. 

"Well, one day, I came home with a stuffed bear for Sehun. I usually don't do that, I get us what we need and Sehun has enough toys to keep him entertained now-a-days. I got it for him that day because I came home later than usual. I thought that Sehun wouldn't mind, would be happy when he saw the toy once I apologized and handed it over. What he did, he..." Yifan gives a small fond laugh, "he takes the bear, looks at it for a good couple seconds before saying 'no toy, only Baba'. Then he threw the toy aside and gave me the tightest hug a newly-turned three year old could give me." 

Junmyeon's heart absolutely melts. "That is so sweet, I love that, Yifan." 

Yifan can only shake his head with a small smile. "He's amazing, best little ankle-biter I could've asked for." 

It's quiet again, but not for too long. It's Yifan again that breaks it with his low, attractive voice. "I should probably tell you what happened with his mother."

"Yifan," Junmyeon glances at him quickly as he drives down the road, "you know you don't have to do that. I only told you that because I was comfortable with you and I wanted to. Don't tell me if you're unsure, don't tell me if it'll make you uncomfortable, don't tell me because you feel obligated since I told you my story earlier, don't tell me unless you're absolutely certain. Don't force it, babe." The nickname just kind of slips out, he didn't mean to say it, but now it was out there. 

Yifan either ignores it or doesn't mind Junmyeon calling him that. "We were supposed to get married, thought it would make things easier if we did. Sehun had already been born, he was being held by my mother while we all waited there for her to come out on the wedding day. But she never did and someone else ran out to tell us she was gone."

"Yifan, that's terrible, I'm so sorry that happened to you." Junmyeon takes one hand off the wheel and courageously takes hold of one of Yifan's hands, intertwining their fingers in his lap. 

A calloused thumb rubs over the back of Junmyeon's hand before he continues. "That's not even the best part, Jun. In a very well detailed letter, she told me about how she was addicted to prescription drugs and was leaving with her boyfriend, who offered more than Sehun and I ever could. Oh, can't leave out how I ruined her life and how she didn't want Sehun or me anymore. I soon realized that I couldn't attend university and take care of Sehun by myself, and to be honest, with me, there never really was a choice. It's always been Sehun, no matter what. And now she's back, demanding they take my son away from me." He scoffs to himself. "The bitch is lucky she has visitations every other weekend, but she's rich, she has the money to support him, so they're really thinking about giving her at least fifty percent custody or maybe more, I don't know." 

Junmyeon removes his hand from Yifan's and takes the last turn, parking in a spot in front of the apartment building that did not look very nice. "I knew I should've paid for our date." Is all Junmyeon says, though he's more muttering to himself than to Yifan. 

But Yifan hears him and looks at him. "What?" His eyebrows are furrowed and his lips are turned down in a frown. 

"Nothing." Junmyeon shakes his head. "Just...if you ever need something, anything, I'll help out as much as I can, Yifan." 

"Why? Because you're rich and I'm poor, you don't think I have the capability to keep and take care of my son?" Yifan asks, his tone irritated and slightly angered. 

Junmyeon is shocked by the sudden accusation. "N-no, I-I didn't say-" 

"Well, that's what it sounded like to me." Yifan unbuckles his seat belt and steps out of the car, slamming the door in anger. 

Junmyeon follows suit quickly and jogs after him, grabbing his hand and tugging him back. "No, Yifan, babe, please, don't leave, let me explain, please." There it is again, that stupid nickname, but Junmyeon can't help it, especially if it only aids him in getting Yifan to listen to him.

Yifan, thankfully, stops and turns, but refuses to look at Junmyeon, instead looking over his head. "What do you want, Junmyeon?" 

"Please, let me explain myself. I didn't mean it that way, seriously. I absolutely think you are one hundred percent capable of taking care of Sehun, I know you would do anything for him, even if it was the worst thing in the world, you would do it for him. You're an amazing father, I can only wish to be like that with my son." Junmyeon pauses and steps closer, hesitantly bringing his hands up to cup Yifan's face and make Yifan look at him. "I shouldn't have made that comment about paying for the date. I didn't mean anything by that, it was just me being stupid and...I don't even know." 

Yifan stares at Junmyeon, the walls that instantly came up when he misunderstood Junmyeon backing off slightly. Yifan wanted to hide, wanted to stay behind his walls and cut off people. All he needed was his son. But Junmyeon...he's special, able to hit his walls enough with his kind words and honest self to make holes in it and reveal what he tries so desperately to hide. Junmyeon was the risk he shouldn't take, but it's like he's addicted, like even though he knows he should stay away so his walls don't come crumbling down, he ignores the rules of his own survival and allows Junmyeon closer than the last time. 

"Look, when I said that I'll help you out, I just meant I'll support you with your fight against her. Whether financial or not, I'll be there for you. She can't get Sehun, he's your baby, he rightfully belongs to you and deserves someone who's going to take care of him and be willing to do anything. She isn't that parent, you are. I won't allow that child to be abused or neglected when he has you. He's not mine, but I know him and he's just a child, he doesn't deserve that. I'll make sure that injustice doesn't carry through, even if you don't want me to." Junmyeon replies, hoping this time Yifan can see where he's coming from. 

"It's none of your business, Jun." Yifan closes his eyes and nuzzles his face into one of Junmyeon's soft palms holding his face. "None of your business at all...but you're the only one beside my neighbor that's ever offered support for me like that. My parents basically disowned me after she ran away, they were already disappointed about the baby, but her not marrying me? There's only one thing to assume, it was all my fault." 

Junmyeon shakes his head and uses the tips of his index fingers to caress Yifan's temples. "No, Yifan, none of it is your fault. At all. None of it, absolutely none of it." 

Yifan hums. "Whether it's my fault or not, I have a responsibility. I have a responsibility to keep my child and raise him to be the best man he could ever be, so if you're all in, I'll rely on you more and expect you to be there for me." 

Junmyeon's lip twitches upwards. "I wouldn't mind if you did that. That's what I want to happen, Yifan, I want a relationship with you, one where we can trust each other, where we can eventually love each other, where we can be each other's support." 

"I..." Yifan opens his eyes and leans forward so that his face is hovering over Junmyeon's, "I want that with you too, Jun." And he connects their lips in a gentle kiss. 

It doesn't last long, maybe a couple seconds, but after that, Junmyeon is left wanting more. He's never been the best with patience, so he gets on his tiptoes and kisses Yifan deeper, harder, and with more sincerity. He arches his body into Yifan's and the older man grips his waist, both attempting to get the other to be as close as humanly possible. 

They pull away for air and Junmyeon decides that he's really happy he decided to drop Yifan off at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the comments and kudos so far! appreciate them all!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is in the kid’s perspectives !

Kyungsoo isn't sure what to do. Over the course of a couple weeks, he's been forced to get used to Yifan and Sehun constantly coming over. It's not a totally bad thing at first, but he misses being an only child and having Junmyeon's undivided attention on him. 

Kyungsoo has been feeling left out lately, like Junmyeon wants to replace him with Yifan and Sehun. He doesn't want or need Kyungsoo anymore when Sehun is definitely cuter than him, as he tells himself, with all that baby talk and his cute hair and innocent eyes. 

They're coming over again, Yifan and Sehun, they're coming very soon, but Kyungsoo doesn't want them here because that only means Junmyeon is going to leave him to make sure they get all the attention and eventually forget about Kyungsoo. 

Sometimes he tries to tell himself that Junmyeon loves him a whole lot and that he's irreplaceable, but most times it doesn't work. He ends up crying to himself, in times where Junmyeon can't see because it's not like he'd care anyway. He'd have to make sure Sehun and Yifan were comfortable first before he could even  _ think _ of Kyungsoo. 

His mind has been plagued with negative thoughts. He hates it, he hates how he's sad all the time, that he hates Sehun and Yifan coming over, that he hates himself for not being cute enough, for not being enough for Junmyeon to the point where he has to bring in two others, another son and a boyfriend as he's heard Junmyeon call Yifan. Two people to replace him because he's not enough for him. 

Sometimes Kyungsoo feels selfish, like it's bad to want all of his father's attention. But then he realizes that Yifan gives Sehun all his attention, even if Junmyeon is around, he'll give his attention to Sehun immediately, whereas Kyungsoo has to wait or be brushed off after maybe one glance from Junmyeon. 

Kyungsoo misses his Appa. He misses him and all the attention he got when it was just the two of them. Now he's like Kyungsoo's mother, leaving him to be somewhere else, to be with some _ one _ else. 

He doesn't know what to do, he doesn't want to be abandoned by his Appa, by the only person he's ever known, by the only person that he thought would always love him and care for him. 

He recalls the time when he asked Sehun to play animals with him, using his stuffed toys. 

"Sehunnie, wanna play animals with me?" Kyungsoo had questioned, going through his toy chest and pulling out different animals. 

"Okay." Sehun agreed and crawled over to where Kyungsoo was on the carpet. 

Kyungsoo lined up the animals in a row, setting the cow toy nearest to himself. "What animal do you wanna play?" 

Sehun looks over the animals and just as Kyungsoo is pulling out the chicken, Sehun snatches up the cow toy and hugs it to himself. "This one!" 

Kyungsoo pauses and sets the chicken down haphazardly. "No, you can't be that one. I always get the cow." 

Sehun pouts at him. "But I wan'ta be cow." 

"No, I'm the cow, pick something else." Kyungsoo reaches to take it back from Sehun, when the other boy moves out of the way, scooting backwards and hugging the cow close to his chest. 

"No, I wan'ta be cow. You pick someting else." Sehun replied, squeezing the cow even tighter. 

Kyungsoo glared at him. " _ Give _ .  _ me _ .  _ my _ .  _ cow _ ." He speaks through gritted teeth, practically growling at Sehun. 

" _ No, I’m gonna be the cow _ ." Sehun spat at him in Chinese. Kyungsoo doesn't know Chinese, but he can hear the negative answer in his voice.

"Appa!" Kyungsoo yells for his dad and Junmyeon is through the door after a couple minutes. 

"What is it? What's wrong?" Junmyeon is panicked and frantic as he stands in the doorway. Yifan approaches moments later. 

Kyungsoo stands up and runs to his Appa, standing in front of Junmyeon. "He-He won't give me my cow back, I wanna play the cow and he-he took it." He pouts and tears well up in his eyes.

Junmyeon glances back to where Sehun is standing, looking afraid of what the consequences might be as he tightly hugs Kyungsoo's stuffed cow animal to his chest. Junmyeon bends down and puts a hand on top of Kyungsoo's head, petting his hair down in a soothing gesture. "You can share with him for a little bit, can't you, moomoo? Just let him play the cow for now and then you can be the cow later, okay?" 

Kyungsoo's face is frowning and he doesn't move, just looks at Junmyeon and not believing what he's hearing.

"Please be nice to him, moos. You can do that, you're my good boy." Junmyeon leans forward and presses a kiss to the top of his head, so Kyungsoo reluctantly turns and heads back over to Sehun, wanting to be the good boy that his Appa says he is. 

And then Junmyeon leaves with Yifan and Kyungsoo marks the beginning of Junmyeon's love for him fading away. 

The next memory is from when they were playing hide and seek. Kyungsoo was very excited that day, his Appa had been giving him attention all morning and now they were about to play hide and seek, Kyungsoo hiding and Junmyeon seeking. 

Kyungsoo had been running throughout the house, doing his best to muffle his giggles as he looked for a hiding spot. He saw the kitchen cabinet and thought it was perfect, that his Appa would never think to look for him in the kitchen. 

He opens and closes the kitchen cabinet door, crouching down and keeping a hand over his mouth so he doesn't laugh away his location. He waits for a bit before he hears the loud, "Ready or not! Here I come!" from his Appa which makes him giggle even harder than before.

He can hear Junmyeon going through different things, exclaiming remarks like, "come out, come out, wherever you are." Kyungsoo presses his hand tighter to his mouth and takes slow, deep breaths through his nose, trying to calm himself down so he won’t give himself away. 

Then the doorbell rings and Kyungsoo's eyebrows furrow in confusion. No one was supposed to be coming over today. Who could it be?

He hears Junmyeon coming down the stairs and going to the door before calling to the person on the other side. "Who is it?" He must get an answer because then he hears Junmyeon letting someone inside. 

Kyungsoo pushes the cabinet door open enough to peak into it, looking through the crack to see his Appa with Yifan and Sehun. He kisses Yifan on the cheek and then bends down to give Sehun a tight hug. 

A frown situates itself on his face and he closes the door again, resting his back against the cabinet wall. He can hear them conversing, Kyungsoo long forgotten as Junmyeon laughs at something Sehun says. 

A tear falls down Kyungsoo's cheek but he stubbornly wipes it away. He wraps his arms around his legs and hugs them close to his chest, sniffling and fighting away the tears. 

It's not until Yifan says, "Where's Kyungsoo?" that Junmyeon realizes he was still hiding and waiting for him. 

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe I forgot. Moomoo, baby, come out, we have guests." Junmyeon calls and starts looking for Kyungsoo again. "Moomoo?" 

Kyungsoo decides to listen and steps out of the cabinet with a schooled expression, not wanting his father to see how upset he truly is. He gulps past the lump in his throat and Junmyeon sees him while smiling brightly. 

"There you are, moos." Junmyeon comes over and picks Kyungsoo up, the little boy nuzzling his head into his Appa's shoulder. "You tired, baby?" Junmyeon puts a hand on the top of his head and strokes. 

Kyungsoo doesn't respond, just buries his face deeper into Junmyeon's neck and closes his eyes. 

Kyungsoo continues building his blocks as the memory of that day seems to continuously play vividly in his mind. He tries to think of a way to get Junmyeon to pay attention to him. Maybe if he ignores Junmyeon then he can get back at him or at least get attention from him. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. 

He knows it's close to his bed time and Junmyeon will be in here soon to take him to do his bed time routine and then read to him or sing to him, whichever Kyungsoo chooses for the night. 

Kyungsoo does feel tired, but he's going to resist as best he can because he's angry and sad and all he wants is the attention he deserves. 

As he predicted, Junmyeon walks in a few minutes later. "Come on, moos, it's time to get ready for bed." But Kyungsoo ignores him as he had planned previously. He just keeps building and building while Junmyeon waits and watches. "Moomoo? Come on, baby, it's time for bed." 

"No." Kyungsoo can't help but say defiantly and petulantly. 

Junmyeon raises an eyebrow as he thinks through what his son just said to him. "Excuse me?" 

"No, I wanna play." Kyungsoo replies, stacking another block on top of his tall tower. 

"Kyungsoo, you do not say no to me. Now, clean up your blocks and come with me so I can put you to bed." Junmyeon demands, putting hands on his hips and adapting his expression so that he looks more intimidating. 

Kyungsoo turns his head, anger coursing through his little body as his eyes slit into a glare directed at Junmyeon. "No!" He yells at him.

But instead of getting angry and more intimidating once Kyungsoo yells at him, Junmyeon bends down and gets closer to his son. "What's wrong, moomoo? Why are you acting like this? I know this is not you," He moves his hand and places it on top of Kyungsoo's head, stroking back as he looks at him with kind, caring, and concerned eyes. 

In reaction to the unexpected display by his father, tears immediately spring into Kyungsoo's eyes and he sniffles while pouting. Instead of saying anything, he starts crying and Junmyeon's heart aches. He sits down next to his child and pulls him into his lap, rubbing his back. "Oh, my little angel, please, please tell me what's wrong?" 

Kyungsoo starts talking through his tears. "You-you don't love me anymore!" He tells him. "You're gonna leave me like Eomma did! You're gonna replace me with Sehun and Yifan!" He sobs into his father's shirt. 

Junmyeon looks at his son. "My baby, my angel, my moomoo. Why in the world would you ever think that I would want to leave you?" 

"B-because every time Yi-yifan or Se-sehun are around, you-you forget about me." Kyungsoo explains, rubbing his runny nose on Junmyeon's shirt. "When-when we played hi-hide and se-seek, y-you f-f-forgot me. You-you let Sehun have my-my cow toy wh-when I wanted it. I-I'm not important any-anymore." 

Junmyeon feels his heart breaking at the words coming out of the child's mouth. "I-I'm so sorry, Kyungsoo. I'm so, so sorry I made you feel that way." He cups Kyungsoo's face and looks at him, stares deeply into his eyes. "My baby, I could never get rid of you or replace you. Never ever in my life would I even think of it. And I'm sorry that she left us, I'm so sorry, Kyungsoo. She just...she wasn't ready, she couldn't do it so she gave up, but me...I will never give up on you, do you hear me? I'll never abandon you, I'll never give up on you." 

Kyungsoo is sniffling and still crying but he looks at his father. "P-promise?" 

"I promise, Kyungsoo. I promise to never leave you out, to never forget about you, to never let you believe ever again that you aren't loved. I promise on my life." Junmyeon says wholeheartedly, holding his baby boy as close as possible. 

"Pinky promise?" Kyungsoo asks, holding out his pinky. 

Junmyeon smiles at the tiny finger and curls his bigger pinky around Kyungsoo's. "I pinky promise, moos." 

So they sit there for a couple more minutes, Junmyeon helping his son calm down while whispering reassuring words to him. And that night, Kyungsoo slept cuddled up to Junmyeon in Junmyeon's bed.

\- AT YIFAN'S PLACE -

Sehun is playing with his toys when he hears Yifan in the other room. 

"What do you mean they're thinking about giving her half custody? She can't have him at all, she's not fit to be his mother. She's literally a crack addict." Yifan says loud, his tone full of annoyance and irritation. 

Sehun's doesn't mean to listen in and really knows he shouldn't, but he does anyway. He might get scolded by Yifan, but his curiosity is too much to ignore. 

"Do I have proof?" Yifan asks incredulously. "Have you fucking seen her in the court? She was high on the second court date! She seriously can't be getting away with that." 

Sehun hates that Yifan is yelling, that he sounds angry and upset. Sehun doesn't really understand the whole situation, but he does know that Yifan is trying his hardest to prevent something from happening. He tries his best for Sehun, that's what he knows. 

"We can drug test her? I mean I guess we can. Sure, let's go with that." Yifan is silent for a moment. "Can I give you the note from the day she left me? It's from a couple of years ago, but it's better than nothing right?"

Sehun stands up, hearing Yifan's voice pull farther away, and he walks to the door, able to see where Yifan is now standing in the kitchen because the door's ajar. 

Yifan looks stressed out, his shoulders tensed, his eyebrows furrowed, and his eyes shut tight. "Yeah, yeah, I'll bring it. I just can't let her take my baby, not Sehun, she can't get him. I know for a fact she wouldn't treat him right." He's quiet as he listens to the other person on the other end of the phone call, "How do I know? Because Sehun tells me everything. He tells me how she forgets to feed him and how he doesn't get much sleep because she won't let him have a night light. She's not even buying anything for him, she's not treating him right. Why is the court so goddamn blind?!" Yifan slams his fist on the table and growls in anger. 

Sehun jumps at the sudden expression of rage, but he doesn't back away from the door. He continues to watch his father. 

"Just because she has a better income than me and has a richer family, doesn't mean anything. It's who cares for Sehun, he needs attention, he needs love, he needs to be listened to. She's not doing any of that." Yifan sits there and stares at the wall. "I think she's doing this to prove that she can be a mother or something. To prove that she's not a screw up and can raise a kid. I'm not very sure. She left, it was her decision, I didn't drive her away. She wants to prove all these things, but she's not because she takes my kid and doesn't do anything for him. Just goes about her day as if he isn't there." 

It's true. All the times Sehun wants to do something with her, she brushes him off like he's not there. When he's hungry, she tells him to get food by himself, whatever he can find becomes breakfast, lunch, or dinner. When Sehun says I love you, she mutters a half-assed, dismissive “okay”. One time she left him for two days and came back with really scary red eyes and she was acting weird, talking to Sehun as if he was a verbal punching bag or something like that. 

"You're fucking kidding me? She can't have full custody, and no, she's not getting a cent out of me. If anyone's getting child support, it's going to be me. She must be trying to get back at me, she did say she hated me in that letter. She knows how much I love Sehun and how much he means to me, maybe that's why she's trying to take him away." Yifan says into the phone and puts his head on the counter. "Or maybe I was just a terrible fucking person to her. I don't know, I don't think I was. I don't think I am. You think I wanted any of this? To drive her away and raise the kid on my own, knowing very well that I barely had the funds to stay in university? I didn't even mean to have Sehun."

That one hurt, Sehun felt his heart break at the thought of his Baba not wanting him. He was confused about the other stuff, could barely understand the rest of it, but he understands the negative connotation on having Sehun. 

So Sehun steps out from where he's hiding behind the door, looking at Yifan with tears in his eyes and his little hands fisted into balls. "Baba no wan' me?" He questions, hoping he understood wrong. Yifan has always told him to speak out his feelings when he felt it, so that's what he was doing. He was letting Yifan see his hurt at the statement, being clear with his feelings and making sure he was heard because Yifan would respond honestly, unlike his mother. 

Yifan's looks at Sehun and sighs from the disappointment he feels in himself. "I'll call you later. And yeah, I'll bring the document and please get the drug test." After that, he hangs up, and walks towards Sehun. "Bubs, you weren't supposed to hear that." 

"Be-cause you no want Sehunnie." Sehun finishes the statement for him, a couple tears dribbling down his face. " _ Baba never wanted me _ ." Sehun switches to Chinese, knowing he can express himself better in Chinese than in Korean. 

Yifan steps around the counter and walks towards Sehun, but for every step forward, Sehun moves one back. "Sehun, don't be like that. Come here, please." Yifan crouches down and gestures him to come forth. 

Sehun hesitates, but walks over there and stands in front of Yifan. " _ What _ ?" Sehun says, his Chinese accented more than usual. 

" _ Will you listen, Sehunnie? Will you let me explain myself _ ?" Yifan uses Chinese as well, it's more of a comfort to himself than anything, speaking in his mother tongue to Sehun. Sehun mutters an "okay". " _ Sehun, when your mother and I had you, we were both very young. Too young and immature to have a kid. We didn't plan on having you, we never intended to have a kid at that time. So no, I didn't mean to have you. But yes, I do want you _ ."

"Don't lie." Sehun replies, wiping away tears with the back of his fist. He doesn’t mean to but he’s so upset that he doesn’t realize he’s switched back to Korean. "I leave if you don't wan’ me." 

" _ Sehun, I never, ever want to hear that coming from you again _ ." Yifan speaks slow and with a firm, authoritative voice. " _ You are my son. You're not going anywhere and I'm not going anywhere. I will fight anyone who tells you or tries to do otherwise. Just because you weren't planned, doesn't mean I love you any less. I love you more than anyone else in this world and do you know why _ ?" 

Sehun sniffles and looks at Yifan again. " _ Why _ ?"

" _ Because you are a part of me. If I gave you away, I don't even know if I could live with myself. As the one that helped to bring you into this world, it's my responsibility to protect you, to care for you, and love you. Not only because I have to, but because I want this responsibility. You're you, Sehun, you're beautiful and amazing and a good boy. I would rather die than let anyone take you away from me, ever _ ." Yifan gets tears in his eyes and looks down as they start to fall. " _ I love you, Sehun, never forget that _ ."

A little hand moves and rests on Yifan's cheek. Yifan lifts his head and looks at his son. Sehun wipes away a tear on Yifan's face and smiles. " _ Hunnie loves Baba too _ . Hunnie loves Baba forever." Sehun first says this in Chinese then switches to Korean to repeat it. 

Yifan laughs through his tears and wipes at his face. "You're special, bub." His voice cracks, but he clears his throat. "Come here, kid." Yifan pulls Sehun into a tight hug and kisses the side of his head. "You're not going anywhere, Baba loves you too much to lose you." 

Sehun smiles widely and pulls back to look at Yifan, "Hunnie stay here." 

"Yeah, Hunnie and Baba stay here together." Yifan leans forward and places his forehead on Sehun's. "We're here together." 

"Ta-get-der." Sehun repeats while simultaneously sounding out. 

Yifan can only smile as wide as humanly possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! more content to come very soon!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> very fluffy chapter ahead, just a warning ;)

Lately, Yifan has been coming over to their house a lot more and so has Sehun. Of course, Junmyeon has asked for Kyungsoo's permission because he doesn't want to upset his baby anymore. 

Junmyeon is dancing around with Kyungsoo when his phone starts ringing. He continues to rock with Kyungsoo in his arm while he picks up the phone. "Hello?" 

"Hey, baby." Junmyeon smiles at Yifan's greeting, his cheeks warming up. 

"What's up?" Junmyeon asks, balancing the phone between his ear and shoulder as he continues to bounce around with Kyungsoo on his hip. Kyungsoo rests his head on his Appa's shoulder and mumbles along with the song. 

"Nothing much, I just wanted to invite you and Kyungsoo to have dinner with Sehunnie and I." He replies. 

Junmyeon lights up and takes the phone from his ear so he can look at his son. "Moomoo, you wanna have dinner with Yifan and Sehun?" 

Kyungsoo nods. "Yeah!" He exclaims with a big smile. "I have to tell Sehun about the new episode of Pokemon that came out." 

Junmyeon laughs and then returns to the phone. "Yeah, we're up for it. Should we bring anything? I don't mind stopping by the store or bringing dessert." 

"Yeah, you can bring dessert if you want..." Yifan responds. Junmyeon opens his mouth to respond, but Yifan beats him to it. "I'm sorry that I'm asking that of you, I shouldn't take advantage of you being my boyfriend-"

"Yifan." Junmyeon smiles widely and rolls his eyes, "I don't mind. You're not taking advantage of me, I'm your boyfriend, I can get stuff for you if you need or want it. It's okay, it's fine with me. Do you need anything else?" 

"Umm..." Yifan hums and Junmyeon can hear small things being shuffled around before he answers with, "No, we're good." 

"Then dessert it is, babe." Junmyeon says. "When would you like us there?" 

There's a little voice in the background, which he assumes belongs to Sehun, and then he's back on the phone. "Anytime between now and seven. Or whenever you want really." 

Junmyeon giggles. "Okay, we'll be over within the hour. Uh, one more thing, you and Sehun aren't allergic to anything, right?" 

"Sehun's allergic to garlic, but that's it. And I'm not allergic anything. Thanks for asking." Yifan's small, genuine smile can be heard through the phone. 

"Of course, babe, I wouldn't want you or Sehun to get hurt." Junmyeon replies. "I'll see you in a bit, FanFan." 

"See you, Jun." And then the phone call ends. 

Junmyeon sets his phone down and pats Kyungsoo on the back. "Let's go get ready, moos." He clicks off the music from his phone, takes them upstairs and then sets down his son. "Go get a fresh pair of clothes and I'll help you clean up, sound good?" Kyungsoo nods and follows Junmyeon's orders. 

Junmyeon walks to his room and takes off the pajamas he was wearing, slipping into a regular white t-shirt and a pair of blues jeans. It's simple, but it's only dinner, so he doesn't pay much mind to it. He goes to the bathroom and freshens up a bit before Kyungsoo comes in with his clothes. 

He instructs Kyungsoo to take off his pajama shirt as he unfolds the new one. Slipping it over his son's head, Kyungsoo shimmies off his pajama bottoms and Junmyeon helps him put both legs in and pulls up his shorts. 

"You want your hair down or up?" Junmyeon asks, running a hand through his baby boy's scalp.

Kyungsoo takes a second to think. "Down." Junmyeon nods and takes him to the bathroom, helping Kyungsoo finish getting ready. 

After that, Junmyeon herds Kyungsoo out to the garage after making sure Kyungsoo got everything he wanted to bring. He snatches his phone and keys off the counter on the way out and locks the door behind him. Junmyeon unlocks the car and helps Kyungsoo into his car seat. 

"We're gonna stop at the store to get some dessert. What should we bring them?" Junmyeon is buckling Kyungsoo in securely as he asks. 

"Brownies!" Kyungsoo suggests and Junmyeon kisses his forehead before closing the door and rounding the car so he can get into the drivers seat. 

"Good idea, moomoo." Junmyeon starts the car after opening the garage and backs out. "Should we bake it there or buy them pre-made?" 

"Bake it there!" Kyungsoo replies enthusiastically. 

Junmyeon nods. "Okay, I don't know what they have there, so we'll buy the stuff for it." 

"Yay!" Kyungsoo cheers. 

"Are you excited, moos?" Junmyeon asks him as he stops at the supermarket that's on the way to Yifan's house. He hops out of the car and goes to where Kyungsoo is waiting to be unbuckled. 

Kyungsoo hums his agreement. "Mhm. Brownies taste good." 

Junmyeon plucks him from his car seat and carries him on his hip. "You are very right, my angel. Brownies are delicious." 

They run into the store quickly, grab the necessary ingredients, use the self-check out, and exit. Then they head to Yifan's house. It's nearby so they're there in five minutes tops. 

Junmyeon takes the bag for himself after pulling Kyungsoo out and holding his hand so they can walk inside together.

They walk into the building and Junmyeon looks at every door for the apartment number Yifan texted him on his way there. He mumbles it to himself so he doesn't forget it and they continue to walk and walk until finally, the right numbers come into sight and Junmyeon is knocking on the door. 

Yifan opens it and immediately smiles. "Hey, baby." He's taken to calling Junmyeon that a lot and Junmyeon is not here to complain about it. 

Junmyeon smiles back and steps forward. "Hi." He leans in and gives Yifan a brief peck on the lips. 

Yifan looks down to Kyungsoo after. "Hi, Kyungsoo. How are you, buddy?"

"I'm good. Appa bought me a new book. The words are kinda hard, but I'm managing." Kyungsoo says honestly, his face very serious. 

"Good for you, little man." Yifan says. "Sehun's in our room, if you wanna go play with him." Kyungsoo runs off after that and goes into the mentioned room as Yifan let's them inside. 

Junmyeon sets the bag he brought with them on the counter. "So instead of buying pre-made dessert, Kyungsoo and I decided that we would make brownies." Yifan's smile falls a bit. "What's wrong?"

"Uh, I don't have the things to help you make them." Yifan says with apology in his tone. 

Junmyeon sighs in relief and chuckles. "Babe, you don't have to worry about that. I also bought what was needed. And I got the brownie mix, so it wasn't too many ingredients." 

"Jun..." Yifan starts, "that's too-too much, I invited you to dinner, I didn't really want you to buy anything if you didn't have to." 

Junmyeon rolls his eyes. "Come on, Yifan, it wasn't that much. And look, now you have eggs and oil and milk, if you didn't already. Kyungsoo and I, or probably just me, want to make them for you guys and it's gonna taste so much more better than the store bought." 

Yifan sighs but shakes his head with a small smile. "Fine, baby. Let's eat first and then we can start on the brownies." 

Junmyeon glances over at the stove and smiles. "Mhm, it's looks so good, FanFan. I can't wait to try it. I'll go get the kids, start plating." 

Yifan laughs at Junmyeon’s instant commands because he's pretty sure he invited Junmyeon to dinner, but he does it anyway, pulling out the plates and silverware. He took out two smaller plates for Kyungsoo and Sehun specifically, both with Pororo characters on them. 

Junmyeon knocks on the door to the room and peaks in. "Hey, boys, it's time to eat." He announces, smiling at the two boys who freeze and look over at him with wide eyes. 

"Okay, Appa." Kyungsoo replies and then continues his explanation about the newest Pokemon episode as they both get up and follow Junmyeon to the kitchen. 

Yifan hands all of them plates and leaves his plate on the counter to go get something. Junmyeon follows him and asks, "Yifan, where's the table?" 

With a certain sheepishness to his tone, Yifan explains, "I don't own a dining table, um, usually Sehun and I eat on these little TV dinner set ups." He pulls out two and sets them up. "And I only have two, I really should've thought this through." 

Junmyeon is, no doubt, surprised, but he takes it in stride and schools his expression. "How about Kyungsoo and Sehun eat on one and we eat on the other?" 

Yifan nods. "That's what I was thinking." 

Sehun and Kyungsoo walk over to the first table that's already up and put their plates on it, both climbing onto the couch and settling down. They start to eat their dinner while quietly talking about their show. 

Junmyeon grabs Yifan's plate for him as he sets up the second table and sets them down once he's done, situating himself on the couch beside Yifan. 

"I'm really sorry about this, Jun." Yifan sounds and looks guilty. He's not even eating, just playing with it much like a kid would if there's something bothering him. 

Junmyeon sets down his fork and frowns. "Sorry? For what, Yifan? What are you talking about?" 

"All of this." Yifan puts his fork down on his plate hard enough for there to be a little _ clink _ . He puts his face in his hands. "I wanted to have a nice dinner with you and Kyungsoo, but I didn't think it through." 

"Yifan, what are you talking about? I love this." Junmyeon says in confusion. "Sure, it's a bit surprising that you don't have a dining table, but at least we're eating together. It's not about what either of us want, Yifan, it's about us making the best of what we have to give to each other."

Yifan nods and removes his hands from his face. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry, I just...I just got in my head." 

"It's okay, babe. Let's just enjoy our dinner." Junmyeon says and starts to eat, Yifan copying his motions. 

They sit and they eat and they listen to the kids discussing what their favorite pokemon are based on Kyungsoo's descriptions and once they finish, the adults head to the kitchen and the kids head back to the room. 

"I'll start on the brownies." Junmyeon declares and pulls the ingredients from the bag. 

Yifan nods and kisses his cheek. "I'm gonna do the dishes. When you're done, just hand me the dirty stuff." Junmyeon pauses and looks at Yifan and agrees, glancing down at his lips and shivering when Yifan places a hand on his arm which ends up sliding down to play with his fingers. 

Junmyeon decides to be bold and leans forward, claiming Yifan's lips for himself. He brings the hand not holding Yifan's up and cups his cheek. He gives a soft moan and opens his mouth for Yifan, but he doesn't take the bait. Instead, Yifan pulls away and winks at Junmyeon, going to the sink to wash the dishes. 

Junmyeon feels his cheeks heat up as a small smile tugs at his lips, a scoff falling from between them at Yifan's audacity to tease him. He gets back to work on the brownies, but can't stop thinking about the previous moment despite how small it was. 

Yifan's finished with the dishes by the time Junmyeon's done putting the brownies into the oven. Yifan turns around and sees the bowl that held the batter. He picks it up and scoops some of it on his finger, licking it off with a delighted hum. 

"Yifan, you better not be eating that batter." Junmyeon says, though he's setting a timer on his phone and not looking at Yifan at all.

"You can't tell me what to do." He replies and right as Junmyeon turns around, he scoops up more batter and eats it off his finger. 

Junmyeon scoffs and takes the bowl from him. "You're going to get salmonella, you big oaf." 

"Not if you don't eat a lot of it. Have you even tried it? It tastes really good." Yifan says, snatching it back when Junmyeon finishes scolding him. "Come here, baby." He motions Junmyeon over and Junmyeon obeys. 

"Are you going to make me try it?" Junmyeon asks, raising an eyebrow at his boyfriend. 

Yifan hums while nodding his head. "You know it, Jun." He takes a bit on his finger and holds it out for Junmyeon. "Here, try it." 

Junmyeon pauses for a second, slightly unsure about what to do. But then he's suddenly moving forward without thinking, opening his mouth and taking Yifan's finger into his mouth. He sucks lightly and he decides that yes, Yifan is correct, it does taste really good. However, Junmyeon is more focused on Yifan's reaction to what he's doing. The latter's eyes are starting to fill with lust and his mouth falls open, his breaths now audible. 

Yifan removes his finger from Junmyeon's mouth. "Oh, baby, you're going to be the death of me..." He whispers and uses the same hand to grip Junmyeon's chin to bring him closer. He leans down and connects their lips together, it's more than Junmyeon expected from Yifan. 

The kiss is rough and passionate, Junmyeon's immediately intoxicated by it. He could probably say as much about Yifan, but right now he's barely thinking. He just wants, wants, wants,  _ wants _ everything Yifan will give him. Junmyeon wants to be selfish, take every last drop of Yifan's care and attention and love, but he can't be. How he wishes he could, but he can't. He can't and he won't knowing that Yifan has Sehun and Sehun needs it more than him. But one day, maybe one day, when Sehun is all grown up, when Kyungsoo is all grown up, then they can give themselves to each other completely. 

For now, Junmyeon takes what he's given and he appreciates it, appreciates that Yifan finds it in himself to give so generously to him. "Yifan," Junmyeon whispers into his mouth. He pulls back so that they're a hair's breadth apart and continues to talk, "why were you thinking the way you were at dinner?" 

Yifan pauses for a second and then replies with, "why are you bringing it up?" 

"Because we need to talk about it." Junmyeon presses another kiss to his lips before pulling back completely. "Please answer my question."

As expected, Yifan takes a minute to think about it. "I-I don't know. I don't have as much to give you as you do me. I just...wanna make sure that our exchanges are fair."

"But why do you think you're not being fair? I don't expect material things from you, FanFan. If you give it to me, then yes, I will appreciate it, but I would never expect it from you. You struggle in that area more than I do and that's okay, for some people, it happens. But whether you're the richest man on earth or the poorest man on earth, I wouldn't expect anything but your love and commitment." Junmyeon responds, his answer well thought out. 

"I think I might know why." Yifan gulps and Junmyeon can see the vulnerability spilling into his eyes and overtaking the dark brown irises. "Sehun's mother, she's...she's rich, probably not as rich as you, but richer than me. She always told me I had to give her things that were equal to the worth of the things she gave me." 

Junmyeon frowns. "First of all, never compare me to her, please. And second, she was just being a selfish person. In our relationship, Yifan, I only ever want you. That's all I want out of this, just someone to love and someone to love me back. " He moves closer to Yifan and Yifan's arms automatically fit themselves around his waist. 

He removes a hand after pulling Junmyeon flush to his chest, using a finger to move some hair from Junmyeon's forehead. "Do you know how incredible you are?" Yifan whispers to him. 

Junmyeon shivers from the delicate touch. "Yes, but I could use a reminder." They smirk at each other before leaning in. They're so close, their lips about to touch...then Kyungsoo and Sehun come running into the kitchen at that moment. 

"Appa!" Kyungsoo shouts for him as he's running in with Sehun. 

Junmyeon breaks out into a smile and leans to his left in Yifan's arms. "Yes, moomoo?" 

"Are the brownies done yet?" Kyungsoo's bouncing on his toes in anticipation. 

"They should be coming out in a little bit, baby." He reassures his child and Kyungsoo nods. 

"Okay, will you tell us when they're done?" Kyungsoo's eyes are wide and doe-like, the innocence practically seeping out of them. 

Junmyeon nods. "Of course, I will." 

"Baba," Sehun starts, his brows furrowed in confusion, "what you do to him?" 

Yifan looks over his shoulder at Sehun. "I'm not doing anything to him, Hunnie, we're just..." He turns back and scans Junmyeon's face, analyzing all his features before finishing his sentence, "...hugging." 

"Oh. Okay." Then the little boys are moving out of the kitchen and back to the room where they were playing. 

Junmyeon watches Yifan's handsome face as he continues to look where the boys left. "I'll take that hug now, please." He says, making Yifan twist to look back at him. 

Yifan is smiling and tugs Junmyeon closer, wrapping his arms around him and squeezing tightly. Junmyeon does the same, rests his head on Yifan's shoulder and uses a hand to play with the hairs at the back of his nape in a calm, soothing gesture. And they stay like that until the timer goes off, holding each other closer. 

Junmyeon is reluctant to let go once the timer starts beeping, but the sound is really annoying to him, so he pulls away and plants a kiss on Yifan's neck as if to promise that he'll be back in his arms quickly before going to the oven and pulling out the brownies. He's quick to place them on the counter and set another timer so that they can properly cool then be served. 

Yifan stands there, watching Junmyeon, his mouth ajar and his adam's apple bobbing as he swallows. The spot where Junmyeon kissed him tingles and he can't help but move his fingers up, skimming his finger tips over the patch of sensitive sink.

It may seem weird, but Yifan's neck has always been a sensitive, vulnerable body part for him. Whenever he got with someone new, he always discouraged them from touching his neck in anyway until a certain part of the relationship. But Junmyeon, he just seemed to make that rule disappear for Yifan. He doesn't even mind the fact that Junmyeon brushed it with his fingers, that he kissed it without Yifan's explicit permission, how could he when his touch was so heavenly? Like an angel had touched him. 

There was just something about Junmyeon, the way he touched, the way he loved, the way he cared, so strong, so beautiful. Yifan couldn't help but be completely mesmerized by him. 

Junmyeon's just put his phone down when he catches Yifan staring at him as if he hung stars in the sky, as if he's from out of this world. He only smiles and walks closer. "What?" He giggles out, his cheeks growing hot as he becomes a bit self conscious with the staring. 

Yifan breaks himself out of the daze and wraps his arms back around Junmyeon. "Nothing, you...you're so different." He says breathlessly. 

"...is that a good thing?" Junmyeon's raising an eyebrow with his smile breaking into two emotions, amusement and worry. 

"Yes." Yifan nods. "Of course it is, I just...you're different then everyone I've ever been with. I'm not a player, but I've dated quite a few people. But none of them, none of them have ever come close to how you are. Out of all of them, you're...different." 

Junmyeon chuckles softly. "Maybe because I've always been kinda corky. But I'm not weird, I swear, I'm just...me." 

Yifan pets a tendril of hair out of Junmyeon's eyes. "Why do you always say that?" 

"Say what?" Junmyeon asks in reply. 

"You always say you're not weird, always  _ swear _ that you're not weird. Why do you do that?" Yifan looks deeply into Junmyeon's eyes, so deep, Junmyeon can't not look back, like Yifan is reaching in and peaking at his soul, at who he truly is.

Junmyeon takes a moment to think. "I'm not sure. Being weird, to me, means that there's something wrong with you. My mother used to tell me that I couldn't be weird, that I couldn't end up like my older brother. He died when I was really young, so I don't remember anything about him and my mother and father refuse to tell me anything about him. It's just something I've grown accustomed to saying whenever I do something that could be labeled as ‘weird’, especially in front of my family."

Yifan brings his hands up and cups his cheeks, dragging his thumbs across the supple skin. "Baby, you  _ are _ weird." Junmyeon's eyebrows furrow in concern and slight fear. "It's not a bad thing, Jun. It usually depends on the context, but now you know that you are weird in a good way. I actually adore how weird you are." He chuckles soft and kisses his cheek, brushing his lips against it gently. 

"Really?" Junmyeon asks silently, his breath stolen from him by Yifan. 

The taller man smiles. "Really, baby." Yifan glances down and then back up into Junmyeon's eyes. "I actually think that I-" 

"Appa!" Kyungsoo comes out again with Sehun in toe. "Are the brownies ready?" 

Junmyeon kisses Yifan's cheek and leaves his arms to check his timer. "Um, they're not cooled completely, but I think it's okay to cut them now, right, Yifan?" 

Yifan blinks a couple times but nods. "Uh, yeah, we can cut them a little early, it should be fine. It'll be hot though, so you both need to be very, very careful, please." 

"Exactly." Junmyeon agrees, "Can I trust you boys not to burn yourselves?" He looks over his shoulder as he brandishes a butter knife from a drawer. Kyungsoo and Sehun nod and Junmyeon smiles. "Alright, please try your best not to." 

He cuts the brownies into even squares or at least the best he can manage. He can feel Yifan looking over his shoulder and silently judging him. He pulls out a piece and sets it on a napkin and does the same to a second square of brownies. Junmyeon turns his head and looks at Yifan's side profile. "What?" 

"You-you..." Yifan points to the lines Junmyeon tried his very best on. "You cut them so unevenly." 

Junmyeon scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Really? No one said they have to be straight. That's kind of homophobic of you to say, Yifan." Junmyeon teases and he picks up the napkins, handing them off to Kyungsoo and Sehun, who had come up to him for that reason specifically. 

Yifan gives a small, teasing glare. "Yeah, well, if I end up diagnosed with OCD, you know why." 

Junmyeon pouts and turns back to the brownies. "Maybe someone wants a little piece." He continues to defend his cutting job. 

"No body wants a little piece, baby, they're brownies." Yifan gestures and Junmyeon lets out a frustrated sigh because yeah, he's right, if you get a brownie, you don't go for the little piece. 

Junmyeon pulls out a small piece from the tray before turning around and shoving it into Yifan's mouth. "Quiet." He says petulantly. 

Yifan eats the brownies and smiles around it. "You're cute when you're angry." He speaks with his mouth full. 

"Oh yeah?" Junmyeon raises an eyebrow sassily. "Well, I'm cute all the time so..." That's when Junmyeon realizes he should've thought through that comeback before actually saying it.

"Yeah, you're right about that too, baby." Yifan replies after swallowing his mouthful of brownie. 

Junmyeon feels his cheeks growing hot. Instead of answering, he twists around to pull out a brownie from the tray for himself. He bites into it and leans against the counter, looking up from under his eyelashes at his boyfriend. Yifan seems to be thinking up a storm in front of him, so Junmyeon reaches forwards and smoothes a hand over his cheek. "What are you thinking about, babe?" 

Yifan licks his lips and sighs. "Well, I was thinking if you don't mind, that maybe you and Kyungsoo could sleep over for the night? But only if you want, you don't have to if you don't want too." 

"Of course, I would love to sleepover." Junmyeon smiles widely. "Let me just ask Soo, though I'm pretty sure he'll be okay with it. I'll go ask right now." As Junmyeon heads out of the kitchen, he leans over and gives Yifan a light peck on the cheek. 

Junmyeon walks out of the kitchen and knocks on the door of the room the boys are in. "Soo, Sehun?" 

"Yes, Appa?" Kyungsoo replies, looking up from where he was talking with Sehun. 

"Well, if you're both okay with it, Yifan's asked Soo and I to stay the night. What do you think?" Junmyeon bites his lip in anticipation of the children's answers. 

Sehun breaks out into a wide smile and he smiles. "Baba say sleepover? Yes, yes, yes!" He hops up and down a bit then runs past Junmyeon probably to give his father a hug. 

Kyungsoo shrugs. "Okay. But I need pajamas, Appa." 

Junmyeon moves forward and bends down next to his son. He puts a hand on the top of his head and pets down gently. "I'm sure Sehun has a spare pair of jamies for you, moomoo." 

Kyungsoo pushes his head into Junmyeon's head. "Okay, Appa." 

Junmyeon removes his hand and goes to pick up his baby, sitting him on his hip as he walks out to find Yifan holding Sehun in a tight hug. 

"So, how is this gonna work?" Junmyeon asks, after giving them several seconds to relish in their father/son moment. 

Yifan plants a kiss on Sehun's temple before replying. "Well, I was thinking the kids could sleep on the bed and we take the couch. Right, Hunnie?" Sehun nods in agreement. 

"That okay with you, moos?" Junmyeon questions and once Kyungsoo gives a nod of consent, he looks at Yifan. "Alright. Do you have some spare clothes for Soo and I?" 

"Yeah, you want them now?" Junmyeon nods. "'Kay, give me a minute. Sehun, come with me." Yifan says as he starts leaving and Sehun follows obediently.

Kyungsoo rests his head on Junmyeon's shoulder and yawns. "Are you tired, moomoo?" Kyungsoo nods against his shoulder. "Okay, I'll get you to bed real soon. Did you have fun with Sehunnie, angel?" 

His child hums. "Mhm. We-we talked about pokemon and pororo and our favorite characters in them." 

"Oh how cool, moomoo! That sounds like so much fun!" Junmyeon says with enthusiasm. "Baby, lift your head, you can't fall asleep right now, you'll be able to soon." He lifts Kyungsoo’s head with his hand and Kyungsoo whines at him. "I know, angel, I know, but you can't go to sleep. Here, how about we go see what Yifan and Sehun found for us?" It's more of a rhetorical question because as soon as he finishes it, he starts walking to where Yifan and Sehun disappeared to. 

He opens the room door and goes inside. Yifan looks towards them and gives a small smile. "Hey, we just found you guys something to sleep in. Here." Junmyeon takes it from them. "You can use the bathroom to change." 

Junmyeon nods and takes himself and Kyungsoo to the bathroom, changing a sleepy Kyungsoo first before changing himself. They come back out and find Yifan as well as Sehun dressed in their own pajamas. Junmyeon holds Kyungsoo and walks over to the bed, pulling the covers back and peeling Kyungsoo off of him.

"Come here, Sehunnie." He beckons the other child over. Sehun listens and looks at Junmyeon with curiousity filled eyes. Junmyeon smiles and picks him up, placing him on the bed next to Kyungsoo. He tucks the kids into bed and sits on the edge of the bed. "Would you like me to sing for you guys?" 

"Sing?" Sehun repeats in Korean, confused by the word. 

Yifan cuts in and repeats the word in Chinese for his child. " _ Sing, like how I sing you the maiden's lullaby, bubs. Remember _ ?" Sehun still looks confused, so Yifan starts singing a part of the lullaby. " _ Sleep in the name of the blue maiden... you remember, don't you, Hunnie _ ?" 

Sehun perks up in recognition and nods quickly. "Yeah! I understand. Junnie wan' do maiden song for us?" 

Junmyeon stares at Yifan, mesmerized by the man's rough yet soft singing voice. It's beautiful and Junmyeon wants to hear it more. "W-why don't you sing that to them instead of me?" 

"What?" Yifan says, his brows furrowed. 

"That was more beautiful than anything I could ever sing. So sing it to them, it'll surely help them get to sleep." Junmyeon pats the spot on the bed in front of them and instead of the reluctance he expected from Yifan, he's met with complete cooperation. 

Yifan sits on the spot that Junmyeon patted and starts singing the Chinese lullaby to Kyungsoo and Sehun. Kyungsoo's already on the edge of sleep and the moment Yifan gets through the first line of the song, he's dead asleep. Sehun's eyes are starting to close and they only fall more and more and more until they're closed. 

But he continues and stares at Junmyeon as he does. Junmyeon's already staring at him, his eyes glistening as his full attention is given to Yifan. They gaze deep into each other's eyes as Yifan finishes the song. 

Junmyeon scoots closer and leans over as Yifan murmurs out the last couple of lyrics, closing the distance between them once he sings the last word. It's just a light kiss because they're right next to the sleeping children, but it's the first spark of something they know they have to continue outside because it definitely isn't child appropriate. 

Yifan grabs Junmyeon's hand and escorts him out of the room, closing the door as softly as possible to not wake the children after Junmyeon shuts off the lights. Yifan tugs Junmyeon to the couch, but instead of sitting, he makes Junmyeon stand in front of it. 

He checks out his shorter boyfriend shamelessly, scanning and analyzing every little thing about him. Yifan finds himself smirking and saying, "You should wear my clothes more often, baby. You look so good in them." 

Junmyeon giggles at Yifan's sudden compliment and poses a bit unconsciously, Yifan's over sized shirt hanging off one of his shoulder and showing everything. The only thing he has under it is a pair of baggy sweat pants that are only staying up because he tied the strings together, and yet Yifan can find the beauty from underneath all the baggy, oversized clothing. "Really?" 

Yifan nods and stalks closer to Junmyeon like he's a predator eyeing his prey. He rests his hands on Junmyeon's little waist, squeezing gently but firmly. It seems to send shudders through Junmyeon because he gasps audibly and his body jerks a bit. 

It's like two magnets, the attraction, the pull is so strong, forcing them together, closer and closer and closer until they're pressed up against each other. 

Junmyeon gets on his tip toes and connects their lips, kissing Yifan with a fervor and a hunger that seems almost insatiable. He grips at Yifan's black locks that drape down onto his shoulders, a beautiful mane that Yifan had been growing out the day he met Junmyeon. 

Their mouths mold to one another's like it was meant to be there and their hands are touching each other, touching without caution, touching without shame. 

Yifan's figured out that if he nips at Junmyeon's bottom lip enough he'll start making whiny little noises that are accompanied by high moans, almost girl-like. He tilts his head to the side and moves his lips deeper, rougher, more passionately against Junmyeon's and it's only then that Junmyeon opens his mouth wide enough to recieve Yifan's tongue. Yifan takes the chance immediately, delves his tongue in and maps out all the places he can touch that'll pull a new sound out of Junmyeon. All the little noises excite Yifan more and more until he's starting to push Junmyeon down to hover above him, shoving his legs between Junmyeon's. 

Junmyeon flinches a bit at the movement and Yifan pauses. "What's wrong, baby?" He brings his hand up and pushes some of his hair out of his face. 

"Nothing, I just..." Junmyeon looks down and then shakes his head, rolling his lips into his mouth. "N-nevermind, it's nothing." 

Yifan stares into his eyes, waits a bit, continues to stare deeply before he says, "don't lie to me, Jun. There's no need to lie, baby." 

Junmyeon takes a breath, looking worried. "It's really nothing, I've just...never been with a man, uh, sexually."

Yifan keeps watching him, keeps gazing deep, deep into his soul. "That's not the only thing on your mind. Just tell me, Jun, just come out with it." 

"I-I..." Junmyeon licks his lips nervously. "I don't wanna do...stuff while the kids are in the other room." 

"That's all you had to say, baby." Yifan says and leans down, pressing a light peck to Junmyeon's lips. "But if you don't mind me asking, what constitues as 'stuff'?" 

Junmyeon shrugs. "I don't know...like anything you wouldn't want the kids to see." 

"So can I do this?" Yifan twists his head and uses a hand to move Junmyeon's head to reveal more of the skin on his neck, dipping down and planting a few wet, open-mouthed kisses on his neck. 

Junmyeon shivers and a moan tumbles from his lips before he can catch it. "Th-that does feel nice, but n-no, I-I don't want the kids to see this." 

Yifan leaves one more kiss and chuckles, nodding and moving off of Junmyeon. "Okay, baby. Then none of that when the kids are around." 

"Well, you don't have to get off of me, we can still cuddle." Junmyeon huffs and pouts much like a child. 

Yifan finds it cute and endearing. He maneuvers on top of him and lays down, wrapping his arms around Junmyeon's sides as he rests his head on his heart. It pounds in a slightly faster yet steady pace. "You're so cute, baby." 

"I know." Junmyeon brings his hand up to Yifan's head and strokes his hair back. He starts humming a lullaby, it's a children's lullaby, but it seems to be work as Yifan and Junmyeon himself fall asleep in each other's arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for the little comments, I appreciate the enthusiasm ❤️ more chapters to come soon


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stuff goes down, read to find out ;)

Yifan is frustrated; so, so, so frustrated. 

At the court hearing they had, Sehun's mother took the drug test willingly and the court ruled the note irrelevant because she told some sob story about how young and naive she was and how she was under the influence of drugs, but now she's better and the drug test will prove it. That and a flash of her money and they basically ripped the note up right in front of Yifan.

He had to take a walk, walk through the park, walk down the street, just anywhere but near the courthouse. Yifan was going to lose it if he had to spend one more goddamn minute inside that place. And the fact that there was the chance that he could see her outside of the room where they dealt with everything, he couldn't risk it, he didn't want to see her if he didn't have to. 

His lawyer tried to get him to stay so they could talk about everything, but Yifan just couldn't do it. He knows that he's going to have to apologize to him later, but at the moment, he just couldn't deal. With all the bullshit he's been handling for who knows how long, Yifan is pushed to the edge. He's teetering on the edge, one more thing and he'll fall and fall and fall. 

He's had to deal with so much just to keep and raise his child properly. Why doesn't the court see that she's lying to them? Why can't they see that she's only trying to take Sehun to spite him? It's so blatantly obvious. 

By the time Yifan makes his way to Junmyeon's house (he had asked Junmyeon earlier if he would babysit Sehun for him to which he eagerly agreed), he's still upset. The rage inside of him has only tampered down to a mild anger, but he does his best to mask it because Sehun is usually really good at reading Yifan. That and Yifan probably sucks at hiding his emotions. He's going for a neutral look, one that doesn't say he's happy nor angry nor sad, just eh.

He knocks on the door and it's not long before Junmyeon opens the door and smiles. "Hey, babe." He reaches out a hand and Yifan takes it, allowing himself to be pulled inside. 

Yifan steps through and takes a look around, noticing the quietness of the atmosphere. "Where's Kyungsoo and Sehun?" 

"Napping." Junmyeon replies and holds Yifan in front of him. He takes his hands from Yifan's and places them on his shoulders instead, using his hands to rub up and down his arms. "Are you okay?" 

Yifan shrugs. "Yeah, I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" 

"I don't know..." Junmyeon glances away as if he's thinking, "maybe because it's your toxic ex that has nothing better to do than take away your only son to spite you that you just saw in the court where she's also trying to take the money you need to support Sehun with." 

He looks away, turns his head and licks his lips with a particular frustration starting to plague his expression. "Yeah, well, I'm used to it." 

"No, you're not. You wouldn't be as upset if you were 'used to it'." Junmyeon tells him, bringing a hand up to smooth out his wrinkling brow. 

"You know, Jun, I don't need you to dictate my feelings for me, I can do that by myself, thanks." Yifan pulls away and takes off his shoes. He walks further into the house and goes into Junmyeon's living room to sit down on the nice, expensive looking couch. 

Junmyeon follows behind like a dog at his heels; Yifan has to admit, it's a bit irritating. "Why don't we talk about it? I guarantee it'll help." He sits down right beside Yifan and Yifan shifts over. He doesn't want to be right next to Junmyeon in the present moment, he's feeling a bit suffocated. 

"No...no, I think I'm good." Yifan replies, scooting over a little more so he has his own space. 

"Yifan, just let it out. You've had all these hard times and it's okay to share with me, I can probably relate to some of it. I will not judge you, now or ever. I'm here to support you, babe, I always will." Junmyeon persuades. 

Yifan feels it build up in his chest and it's hard to hold his tongue, always has been, and so he finds himself saying, "what would you know about hard times, Junmyeon?" 

Junmyeon furrows his eyebrows. "I've had hard times before, everyone does. Internal and external." 

"Really? Because I don't think you quite understand what 'hard' is." Yifan's tongue is sharp, his words cutting into Junmyeon like a knife into butter. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Junmyeon asks, scoffing in disbelief at what Yifan is saying. 

Yifan swallows hard and shakes his head. "You know what? Never mind, forget I said anything." 

Junmyeon stands up and hovers over Yifan. "No. No, I'm not going to forget. You already started so finish what you were about to say, Yifan. I'm a man, I can take it." 

He grunts and clears his throat, moving his gaze up, but not looking at Junmyeon. "All I'm saying is that you've had it all, nothing you've faced is hard." 

"Tell me what I've faced. If you can assume none of it is or has been hard, mentally, emotionally, or physically on me, then tell me what I've faced in my life." Junmyeon crosses his arms and waits, hovers and watches and waits. Yifan doesn't say anything. "That's exactly what I thought." 

Yifan stands up this time, towers over Junmyeon, but the latter isn't intimidated by his height or his angry glare; no, Junmyeon stands his ground. "Fine then. Tell me what you've faced that's so 'hard' in your life." 

"I'm sorry, but who made  _ you _ the judge on what's hard or not? Your opinion doesn't matter, it was hard on  _ me _ . It was hard for me to handle and deal with, but unlike you, I've worked out my issues." Junmyeon can't believe what he's hearing, but he's going to put Yifan in his place very, very quickly. 

Yifan scoffs and mocks Junmyeon, "That's what I thought. You won't even tell me." 

"You wanna know what was so hard, Yifan?" Junmyeon fixes him with a hard stare. "How about having the mother of your child walk out on you and said child? Ring any bells?" 

Yifan bites his cheek while shaking his head and then forces out a, "they were completely different." 

"Maybe in the way they were done, but looking at it for what it is, it's exactly the same thing." Junmyeon says. "Yifan, I only want to help you. I only want to be the support system that she was supposed to be because I care about you." 

"Does it look like I need a support system?" Yifan growls out. "I'm my own support system, I'm mine and Sehun's support system. I don't need anyone else to be that for me." 

Junmyeon sighs. "Yifan, you're not okay, that doesn't make for a very steady foundation. I only want to help." 

"I don't need your help. I don't need your support or care or money to make it in this life." Yifan spits back, his eyes glaring menacingly. 

"I didn't say anything about money, Yifan." Junmyeon's feelings are starting to get hurt, he can feel his resolve being taken down. 

What Yifan says next is utterly wrong and he knows it too, but he can't stop himself. "Point is you're just another rich brat that wants to prove he's a good person by saving the world with his money. But that's all they are, rich brats." 

The hurt on Junmyeon's face gives away the effect of Yifan's words. His brave facade is breaking, but Junmyeon tries to hold it on as long as he possibly can. "You know, Yifan, just because you're jealous of my wealth and what I have-" 

"Jealous?!" Yifan yells, "If money makes people like that, like _you_ , then no, I'm not jealous. I'd rather be dirt poor than becoming anything like you or the rest of the rich brats." 

Tears well up in Junmyeon's eyes. Junmyeon has learned to love himself and who he is, know what he deserves, know that he is a good person. However, at this very moment, Junmyeon questions it. To hear such harsh words coming out of a person he deeply cared for directed at him? Junmyeon couldn't handle it. "Yifan," Junmyeon audibly gulps, the tears leaking down the sides of his face, "you don't mean that?" 

Yifan's eyes are dead, no emotion, absolutely nothing but a solid, angry dark brown. "You're a spoiled brat, Junmyeon." The anger and what is probably some buried emotion has gotten the best of him. 

"Baba?" Sehun calls from the top of Junmyeon's stairs, rubbing at his little eyes with a frown on his face. 

If there was one thing that could break him out of this state of mind, it was the little boy standing at the top of the stairs attempting to rub the sleep out of his eyes. Yifan looks down and feels the shame wash over him at how he's acted, it's like he can't even control his body because the next thing he knows, he's exiting Junmyeon's house and talking a long walk around the neighborhood. 

Back at the house, Junmyeon's standing in his spot. He's sniffling and wiping at his tears when Sehun walks down the stairs and approaches him. "Baba mean to you? Why does Baba yell at you?" 

Junmyeon tries his best for at least a little smile, but he struggles to keep it up. "You're Baba is just a little upset right now." 

Sehun steps forward and wraps his arms around as much of Junmyeon’s legs as he possibly can. "It's okay! Baba be back to normal and apol'gize. He know he is wrong and mean. He apol'gize and give kiss after!" Sehun pulls back and smiles at Junmyeon. 

Junmyeon can't help the watery laugh it pulls out of him. He takes a deep breath and wipes his tears. Then he pulls Sehun into another hug. "Thanks for making me feel better, Sehunnie." 

"You're good. You don't need sad." Sehun whispers to Junmyeon and squeezes him tight. 

He's smiling and sniffling a bit, but gives Sehun's small body a tiny squeeze before releasing him. "Are you hungry at all, Sehun? I'll make you something if you'd like." 

Sehun nods. "Yes, I am hungry please." 

"Okay, how about a small sandwich or some chopped watermelon? I'll be making dinner a bit later so we can't ruin your appetite." Junmyeon informs Sehun as he picks him up and walks to the table. "So, what will it be?" 

"What is wa-to-mel?" Sehun asks, furrowing his little eyebrows much like Yifan does. 

Junmyeon takes a minute to think of how to describe it to him, but in the end decides to show him. "Here, this is a watermelon." 

"Oh,  _ watermelon _ !" Sehun exclaims with a smile in Chinese. 

"In Korean, it's called a watermelon. Watermelon." Junmyeon repeats it for the baby so he can learn and hopefully remember the word. 

"Watermelon. Watermelon..." Sehun mumbles it to himself in Korean a couple times. "I want watermelon, please." 

Junmyeon smiles. "Then it's watermelon you will get. I just need to chop it up into smaller pieces. I usually chop mine into long strips because that's how I prefer to eat them and Soo doesn't like watermelon anyway, so it's a nice little thing I like to do for myself." He shrugs and pulls out a chopping mat and a knife. It took him no time to chop them into small cubes of bleeding fruit, the juice splattering continuously as he cuts through it. He scrapes it all into a Pororo bowl and grabs a small fork, stabbing it into a piece before setting it in front of Sehun. 

"Thank you!" Sehun says before he takes the fork in hand and takes a bite of the tasty fruit. He hums in delight at the natural sweetness. 

"You're very welcome, you little cutie." Junmyeon pinches his cheek lightly and scrunches his nose up at Sehun. He twists around and glances at the clock on the microwave. "Stay here for me, okay, Sehun? I'm gonna go check on Kyungsoo, he usually wakes up around this time anyway." As though an instinct or an automatic thing, he bends down and presses a small kiss to Sehun's forehead before departing from the kitchen. 

Sehun, ever the obedient kid that Yifan taught him to be around others, sits there and eats up his watermelon. It's good and sweet and Sehun loves the way it's kind of crunchy when you bite into it. 

Then he hears the sound of a door opening and closing behind him. Sehun knows who it is, it can only be one person and he's slightly mad at this person for making Junmyeon cry, especially since Junmyeon is only ever been nice to them when they're around. 

Yifan walks into the kitchen, the bags under his eyes seemingly heavier and his eyes tinged with a red like he's been crying. He looks tired, like a good, long, worry-free rest would help him gain some of his lost brain cells. 

As he walks past Sehun to get to the chair beside him, he ruffles his hair and kisses the top of his head. "Hey, Sehunnie." His voice is low and raspy and sad. 

Sehun looks at his father with a look that Yifan can't quite figure out at the moment. It's a serious look and Yifan knows it's serious when Sehun starts speaking to him in Chinese. " _ You made Junmyeon sad. Why, Baba _ ?" 

Yifan finally understands the look Sehun is giving him and he's unsure how he didn't place it quicker, especially when he's used to that look. It was something akin to disappointment and it made Yifan hang his head in shame. "I was angry, upset because the court didn't go the way it should've." 

" _ Mama _ ..." Sehun says knowingly. " _ But why hurt Junmyeon? He didn't do anything. He's only been nice to you and me, Baba _ ."

" _ I know, Hunnie. I know. And I fucked up _ ." Yifan rubs a hand over his face. " _ Sehunnie, do you know what enough anger can do to a person _ ?" Sehun shakes his head. " _ Well, first, it can make you say things you don't mean because you want to hurt the person _ ." 

" _ Why hurt that person _ ?" Sehun asks. 

" _ Because you want them to stop and you think the only logical way is by hurting their feelings. And second, enough anger can make someone very, very, very sad, maybe even to the point where they reflect that hurt onto others or to the point where they don't let you help them, that the only person that can help them, is that person themselves _ ." Yifan tells him. He can see the confusion painting Sehun's face. " _ You'll understand it more when you're older, Sehunnie _ ."

Sehun thinks about what his father said and sits there, waiting and waiting until he connects a couple dots. " _ Baba is very, very, very sad _ ?" 

Yifan takes a moment, stands there staring at the table. A weak smile tugs onto his lips. " _ Not yet, Sehunnie. You know why? Because I have you and Junmyeon and even Kyungsoo too. You guys keep me going and I know that no matter how many times I mess up, you'll always be there for me...right _ ?" He's staring straight at his child with a raised eyebrow. 

Sehun smiles widely and nods enthusiastically. " _ Right, Baba _ ."

"Oh, Yifan." Junmyeon says from the doorway, interrupting the scene in the kitchen. Junmyeon’s eyes are filled with more unshed tears that keep pushing and pushing with the urge to fall down, he’s had some time to think while he was upstairs getting Kyungsoo.

Yifan stands up straight and faces Junmyeon. "Jun, I-" It's like there's a ball of cotton in his throat that he can't swallow around. 

Kyungsoo appears to be confused by the scene, but shakes his tired head and walks to the table where he sits next to Sehun. Sehun, being the good little boy he is and knowing his manners, offers Kyungsoo some watermelon to which Kyungsoo shakes his head with a disgusted look. Sehun shrugs and continues to eat his snack. 

Junmyeon walks up to Yifan and that's when the tears start falling. He wraps his arms around the taller man and Yifan returns the gesture, squeezing him tight against his chest and using his hand to press his head into it. 

"I'm sorry." Junmyeon whimpered into Yifan's chest, but Yifan wasn't having any of it. 

"Baby, please don't be sorry, you did nothing wrong. Nothing at all." Yifan pets his hair back and plants a kiss on his forehead. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm the one that should be sorry." 

Junmyeon pouts up at him as he cries harder. "B-but I...I was prying and I shouldn't have been, I kept provoking you." 

"No, no, no, Junmyeon, you didn't do anything wrong." Yifan cups Junmyeon's cheeks delicately and wipes away his tears. "It's all my fault, I took my anger out on you and you were just trying to stand up for yourself, don't ever, ever be sorry for that Jun. Everything that I said, I was wrong, I didn't mean any of it at all, I promise. I'm so sorry." 

Kyungsoo speaks up from where he's sitting. "You guys are dramatic." Junmyeon and Yifan turn to him at his words and then look at each other to which they both can't help but smile and laugh at the statement. "Appa, I'm hungry." Kyungsoo announces next. 

Junmyeon wipes at his tears and pats Yifan's chest before moving from his arms. "Okay, moomoo. I'll make you a snack for now and then I'll start dinner, that alright?" At Kyungsoo's nod, he walks over and kisses his head gently then moves to make the snack for his son. "Do you want some pineapple or a sandwich or maybe some oranges?" 

"Fruit but not pineapple, please, Appa." Kyungsoo replies politely. 

Junmyeon quickly slices an apple for his baby, serving it to him on a Paw Patrol themed plate. "There you go, sweetheart." 

"Thank you." Kyungsoo picks up a slice and takes a bite with a loud crunch and a pleased hum. 

"Moomoo, why don't you take Sehun to the den and go watch some tv, hmm?" He pats his child's shoulder gently. "I'm gonna start dinner and I'll call you both back in once it's done, okay?" 

Kyungsoo finishes the apple in his mouth. "Okay, Appa. Come on, Sehunnie, let's go watch pokemon." He gets up with his plate and Sehun with his bowl and they both exit the kitchen, heading to the den. 

Junmyeon goes to the fridge and starts pulling out food to make for dinner. He grabs two packs of tteokbokki, an assortment of vegetables, some sirloin beef, and different sauces to mix together. He sets it down on the counter and goes looking for a decent pot. 

A throat is cleared behind him. Junmyeon turns and looks at Yifan. "Would you like some help with dinner?" 

Junmyeon gives him a soft smile and nods. "Yeah, that would be nice." He continues to look for a pot before tugging a big one out and setting it on the counter alongside the ingredients. "I'm making gungjung tteokbokki. Kyungsoo doesn't like to eat spicy food, but he loves rice cakes, so this is the alternative. It's actually really good."

"Can't wait to try it then." Yifan walks forward and rolls up his sleeves. "What should I do?" 

Junmyeon pauses and thinks for a second. "Um, you can wash up the veggies and chop them for me?" 

Yifan agrees easily. "Okay." 

Junmyeon walks over with the pot and fills it up about a quarter of the way before moving so Yifan can get to it. He places it on the stove and turns on the burner so he can boil the water. 

"Junmyeon?" Yifan asks and Junmyeon hums to let him know he's listening. "Can we talk about earlier?"

"Yeah." Junmyeon replies simply. "What about earlier?" 

Yifan rinses each of the vegetables. "You know I didn't mean what I said right?" 

"Yeah, I know, Yifan." Junmyeon says and tears open the packs of tteokbokki, pouring them into the pot carefully so it doesn’t splash too much. 

"You don't sound like it." Yifan says as he places all of the vegetables on a cutting board that Junmyeon pulled out for him. 

Junmyeon stops before he's about to pour in the second bag of tteokbokki. He takes a deep breath then starts talking. "Yifan, what you said...it hurt me. I tried not to let it get to me, but it really, really hurt." He goes back to the task at hand. 

"I know, Jun, and I'm really, really sorry." Yifan apologizes once more, guilt weaving into his tone. 

"I..." Junmyeon stares into the pot. "I need reassurance that you're not going to go around calling me a 'rich spoiled brat' whenever you're mad. I like to pride myself on not being like that. And I need you not to compare your life with mine. We're living completely different lives right now, Yifan. We're working on integrating them, but if we compare it won't work. The things that were hard in my life may not be hard for you, but they were certainly hard for me. I don't like being told that I haven't had it rough when, yes, I have had it rough at some points in my life." 

Yifan stares at Junmyeon with sad eyes and nods to what he's saying. "You're one hundred percent correct. Completely right, I was wrong. I shouldn't have brought up our situations-" 

"Why did you bring up our situations, Yifan?" Junmyeon interrupts, turning his head so their eyes connect. 

Yifan is silent as he gazes into Junmyeon's brown orbs. It's hard to admit, not only to Junmyeon, but to himself. But if he's gonna grow from this, he has to face the problem. "Because..." he falters and breaks eye contact. "I-I...I'm jealous. Like you said earlier, I'm jealous that you have money and I don't. I used to have what you have, but my parents cut me off. You don't have to worry about some bitch trying to take away your child, you're not struggling to pay any bills either. As single parents, our experiences haven't been the same." 

Junmyeon steps away from the boiling pot and cups Yifan's face. "Yifan, we may not be the same in terms of how we're living, but you're not alone. Someone else out there that's also a single parent is struggling as well, whether it's dealing with their child or supporting them or trying to keep them." 

"I-I know that." Yifan replies with a sigh. "I guess...it's just harder to believe when I haven't met someone that's gone through it." 

"Do you think it would help to meet someone that's had it like that?" Junmyeon asks, caressing Yifan's cheeks gently. 

Yifan shrugs. "I can't be sure, but possibly." 

"I know just the person. I'll call him up and maybe we can have a playdate for the kids." Junmyeon leans up and plants a kiss on Yifan's lips. "Thank you for finally talking to me." 

Yifan's lips quirk. "Of course. I'll try my very best to not compare situations and not take my anger out on you." 

Junmyeon nods with a smile. "Well, I'll do my best not to pry as much because I've heard I can be obnoxiously persistent when that happens." His cheeks heat to a light pink and he giggles sheepishly.

Yifan smiles widely at the embarrassment on Junmyeon's face. "Yeah, just a little bit." He leans forward and steals a kiss from Junmyeon's lips. "Now go get to that tteokbokki before all the water boils away." 

Junmyeon's eyes widen and he turns back to the steaming pot, looking for seasonings to put in along with it. 

Both know that they didn't make it to the core of the problem, but they're fixing a small part of what’s been adding to it. For now, they'll let it go and wait for the right moment to finally get into it. 

Getting that out of the way helps their tackle at dinner, efficiently making the dish Junmyeon remembered and having it served on the table in no time. 

Again, it's one of those nights that calls for an impromptu sleepover, so after eating their fill of gungjung tteokbokki along with their children, they all spend the rest of the night (the night being until 9:30) cuddled up on the couch watching reruns of Pokemon for Sehun to see and Kyungsoo to enjoy as well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyyy i hope you like this, the commenters have offically made me feel special (yes, TWICE reference intended), my gosh literally so thankful for not only the commenters, but those who are reading in general. I appreciate the fact that you all take the time out of your day to read this, so thank you, I hope you know my gratitude is endless.   
> love you all, readers, and hope this chapter satisfied you and that your day is going well! new chapter to come soon!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> let's find out who else I'm introducing to the storyyyyy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING - 
> 
> One of the characters I'm introducing has autism and I did my best to accurately portray them. I did not write this with the intention to offend anyone, I simply did my best to show something that is dealt with in the world. I know someone like this personally and I've also done my best to research and educate myself on autism as not to offend or hurt anyone's feelings. This is simply fiction and I just wanted to throw in something that people on the spectrum do deal with, kind of like another twist of reality, if you will. 
> 
> Please enjoy :)

Junmyeon holds his baby and rubs small circles into the center of his back to try to help him get some sleep. Lately, Kyungsoo's had a hard time falling asleep and Junmyeon is majorly concerned because he can't seem to figure out why. 

It's been three days since Kyungsoo's gotten good rest during the night (he's fine during nap time, even over sleeping a bit) and Junymeon doesn't want to be that parent that overreacts over every little thing happening to their child, but he's worried because of how sudden it is. He's going to talk to a doctor soon and maybe a therapist if absolutely necessary, he's just so frustrated because something is causing his child to not get his hours of sleep essential to his growth and overall development. 

"Just relax, baby, just relax for Appa, okay?" Kyungsoo keeps whining as he can't fall asleep. "You wanna lay down together, moomoo? Will that help?" The question is rhetorical seeing as Junmyeon is already moving to take Kyungsoo to his own room and lay down with him. 

It's nighttime and Kyungsoo's been ready for bed for a bit over two hours, but he can't seem to fall asleep. He came in crying because no matter what, he just couldn't go to sleep and it made him feel bad. 

Of course, Junmyeon got up and tried as best he could to get him to relax and calm down so he could hopefully fall asleep. He's been pacing for about thirty minutes, the steps unhurried and paced in a rhythmic pattern. He also synced the hand rubbing Kyungsoo's back to the repeated pattern, but it's not working. 

Junmyeon is tired too and he expects to be asleep by now since he goes to bed around the same time or a bit later than Kyungsoo does. He also planned on sleeping in since tomorrow was Saturday and they have a playdate with his best friend's child and Sehun. However, those plans were quickly destroyed the moment Kyungsoo ran in crying. Junmyeon won't rest a wink until Kyungsoo does.

He lays his son's smaller body on the cushy bed and climbs in beside him after turning off the lights, tugging him close and curling up so that he's spooning Kyungsoo. He's basically blanketing himself over the child enough to provide a sense of security, but not enough to suffocate him. Junmyeon has always been good at sleeping in one position, so this position won't be hard to keep up at all. 

Kyungsoo snuggles in and finally, after what seems like a good ten to fifteen minutes of Junmyeon battling off sleep and continually rubbing circles in Kyungsoo's back, Kyungsoo's little snores break through. He sighs in relief, at least he's not totally incapable of sleeping.

Junmyeon kisses his little head and keeps the pattern going until he himself drifts off to sleep. 

Throughout that same night, Kyungsoo wakes up a few more times, thus waking up Junmyeon as well, but all times, he's thankfully been able to put him back to sleep and make it through to the next day. 

The duo sleep in until mid-day because of the rough night and then get up and ready for the playdate. 

"Are you sure you want to have a playdate today, moomoo?" Junmyeon asks for what is probably the third or fourth time that afternoon. "Because if you don't want to, then we can cancel and just relax today." 

There are the telltale signs of sleepiness under Kyungsoo's eyes and it makes Junmyeon feel bad that he can't figure out what's going on with his son. Kyungsoo nods anyway. "Yes, I wanna have a playdate. Please, Appa, I really wanna do this." 

Junmyeon sighs. "Okay, moos, let's finish getting you ready and then we'll go." Kyungsoo's small cheer and big smile gets Junmyeon smiling as well and he feels a bit better about the situation in question. 

As he said, both finish getting ready for the day and then load into the car, Junmyeon driving to Yifan's apartment to swing by and get those two before heading to his best friend's house. 

He pulls up in the front after about ten minutes and looks behind himself to check on his son after he's parked. Kyungsoo is absolutely knocked out in his car seat, his head flopped to one side with his mouth slightly ajar. But no matter how cute Junmyeon finds this, he can't help but feel pity for the little kid, he's missing out on so much sleep that's so vital to his health. 

Yifan walks up with Sehun and waves at Junmyeon through the window, who immediately snaps his attention to his own boyfriend. Junmyeon unlocks the car door and the second he does, Yifan opens the door and says, "I'm sorry to ask you this, but do you have a spare car seat for Sehun? I don't have a car so there was no reason to have one." 

"Oh! Of course." Junmyeon smiles and gets out of the car. "I have at least one extra of everything because you never know when you'll lose something or when something will break or when it'll get stolen. So I am prepared for that, babe." He pulls out the car seat that he's kept in the trunk in case of emergencies and directs Yifan to open the door for him so he can set it up for Sehun. 

Once he's done setting it up, he turns to Sehun and sweeps him up into his arms, placing him into the safety seat. He tells Sehun where to put his arms and then fastens the seat belt as tightly as he does for Kyungsoo. "There's you go, Sehunnie, all ready to go!" Junmyeon gives him an excited smile to which Sehun returns. 

"I don't get in car lots. Mama never put me in seat like this! This is fun!" Sehun squirms in his seat and turns from Junmyeon to his father. "Look, Baba, I'm in seat!" 

Yifan smiles widely, exposing his teeth as the child's enthusiasm over something so simple infects him. "I can see, bubs." He ignores the comment about Sehun's mother for the time being, not wanting to ruin his mood or anyone else's. 

Junmyeon boops Sehun's nose gently before closing the door and getting into the driver's seat while Yifan gets into the passenger's seat. Once both are buckled in, Junmyeon takes off towards their destinations. 

Junmyeon decides to play a bit of music through the radio and even sings along to the children's songs that come on. Whenever he glances through his rear view mirror, he can see Sehun wiggling around in his seat and moving his body to the beat. Junmyeon coos to himself silently and then turns his gaze to his son, smiling at the way his boy has shifted so that his head is tilting to the left and there's a little trail of drool working it's way off his lip. Gross, but grossly adorable, that's how Junmyeon sums it up. 

"So this guy..." Yifan starts, " you know him well?" 

"Very well," Junmyeon responds and glances at Yifan with a smile. "Minseok is my best friend, we go way back." 

Yifan hums. "Really..." he murmurs to himself. 

Junmyeon hears the skepticism in his tone. "He's the best person I've ever met...besides you, and he can really relate to your situation. It's a bit different, as all things are, but pretty similar to what you're currently going through."

Yifan hums again. "Okay, I'll take your word for it. You trust him, so I'll trust him for now." 

"I swear, you'll really like him. He's amazing and down to earth and so, so genuine. He's like...a saint." Junymeon replies. 

"He must be if an angel like you is talking about him so highly." Yifan smirks at Junmyeon. 

Junmyeon chuckles to himself and feels his cheeks heat up. He doesn't respond verbally this time and instead reaches over and takes Yifan's hand in his own, squeezing the bigger limb. Yifan laces their fingers together and squeezes back. 

The duration of the car ride to Minseok's house is quiet save for Sehun's constant squirming and mumbling to the lyrics of the songs he doesn't know. Kyungsoo is still asleep and he's sleeping like a rock while Junmyeon and Yifan relish in each other's company, squeezing each other's hands a couple times the rest of the ride. 

They make it after a little while, approximately thirty minutes. Sehun is wide awake and curiously looking outside and analysing everything surrounding him that's new. Kyungsoo wakes up just as they park in Minseok's driveway and is still yawning and attempting to rub the tiredness out of his eyes as Junmyeon turns off the car. 

Yifan and Junmyeon have already gotten out to go get their children, Yifan unbuckling Sehun and placing him by his side to walk while Junmyeon removes Kyungsoo's seat belt and carries him. 

The four walk up to the door and Junmyeon knocks. Junmyeon can hear the harsh padding of small feet running towards the door then nothing and then the door is being swung open by a kid. 

"Appa!" The kid turns his head and calls for his father. "Appa, J-Junmyeon a-a-and his friend are here!" 

Minseok comes out from where he was on the right and starts lightly scolding his child. "Chanyeol, don't yell, we don't want to upset your Papa. And next time, don't open the door without me, you never know who could be on the other side."

Chanyeol pouts and looks down shamefully, stuttering through his sentence. "S-s-sorry, Appa." 

Minseok smiles at Chanyeol to let him know it's alright and then turns to Junmyeon and Yifan as well as their children. "It's been a while, hasn't it, Jun?" 

Junmyeon smiles widely. "Yes, it has, hyung." He steps forward and pulls Minseok into a small hug, careful not to jostle Kyungsoo, who's sitting in his arms and doing all he can to stay awake. After the hug, he looks down at the child. "Hello, Chanyeol, it's been so long since I've seen you last." He reaches over and ruffles his hair to which the kid giggles and smiles widely with missing teeth. 

"I m-missed you!" Chanyeol moves forward and locks his arms around Junmyeon's legs, the older laughing at the other's cuteness. 

"I missed you too, buddy. And look! Kyungsoo's here with me too. Say hi, moomoo." Junmyeon pokes Kyungsoo's arm lightly. 

Kyungsoo looks down and gives Chanyeol the biggest smile he can muster, waving at his friend. "Hi, Yeollie." 

"Hi, Soo!" Chanyeol replies brightly. Then he looks around at Yifan and eventually Sehun. "W-who is that?" He asks curiously while pointing at the pair behind Junmyeon and Kyungsoo. 

Junmyeon smiles and turns to gesture to them. "This is my boyfriend and his son." Sehun's demeanor has changed drastically, no more was he the excited little kid that got to ride in the car, but instead a shy boy, who's now hiding behind Yifan's long legs. 

"Hi!" Chanyeol waves at them both. "I'm Ch-chanyeol!" He introduces himself to them. His stutter is still as adorable to Junmyeon as the day he started speaking. 

Yifan smiles at the little kid, thinking about how cute he is with that stutter. "Hello, Chanyeol, I'm Yifan." Yifan then looks down at Sehun and pets at his head, "Come on, introduce yourself." 

"I'm...Sehun." Sehun replies in a low, soft, hesitant voice. He's still hiding behind Yifan, but now his cheeks are a hot, tomato red. 

"D-d-do you w-wanna p-play with me?" Chanyeol asks, his eyes wide and smile expecting as excitement bleeds through his tone.

Sehun looks up at Yifan with a very unsure look. "Go on, bubs, go play if you want to." 

Sehun turns his gaze back to Chanyeol and takes a second before stepping out from behind his Baba and moving to Chanyeol, who motions him inside. 

Junmyeon looks at Kyungsoo who starts squirming in his arms. "You wanna go with them?" Kyungsoo nods and Junmyeon sets him down, watching him catch up with the other two. 

Minseok looks at Yifan and pushes a hand towards him. "I'm Minseok, it's nice to meet you." 

"Yifan." He replies and takes Minseok's hand in a firm shake. 

"I've heard a bit about you. Very vague details about what's going on." Minseok says straight out. 

Junmyeon makes a sheepish face when Yifan turns to him. "Well, you said you wanted to talk to him about his situation so I gave him a bit of info so he knows a little beforehand." He hesitates before tacking on a, "Sorry..."

"It's okay, baby. I understand." Yifan moves closer and puts an arm around Junmyeon's waist. "I would've preferred explaining myself, but there's nothing we can do now." He shrugs. 

"Why don't you guys come in? We've been standing out here for long enough." Minseok invites them inside, closing the door behind them. "Let me just get my husband. Go ahead and sit down if you like." 

Junmyeon guides Yifan to the couch and they both sit down, having a view of the three kids playing in an empty room across from the one they were sitting in. 

"Are you ready?" Junmyeon snuggles up to his boyfriend, looking up at him with a smile. 

"More or less. It's a bit easier when it's a stranger because I don't care about their opinion. That's also why it was harder to tell you so much because I care about what you think of me and I wasn't totally sure about your reactions. Still not even though I know you more now." Yifan confesses to him, his arm around Junmyeon and rubbing his shoulder. 

Junmyeon sighs. "Just trust my words, I'll never, ever think of you differently over someone else's assholery." 

Yifan laughs and looks into Junmyeon's eyes. "I don't even think that's a word, Jun." 

Junmyeon shrugs with a small giggle. "Oops. But just know that I'll adore you regardless because you are a great person and I  _ know _ you. I trust my own opinion." 

"Good for you, baby." Yifan smiles and tilts Junmyeon's head up to plant a sweet kiss on his lips. "I wish I loved myself as much as you do, sounds nice." 

"Oh trust me, it's not easy. I mean, there's so much to love about me and yet I still manage it." Junmyeon shrugs with a smirk. "Takes a while, but if you really want it, it'll happen." 

Yifan brings up his other hand and cups Junmyeon's cheek. "You'd help me?" 

Junmyeon nods and nuzzles into Yifan's hand. "Mhm...I would because there's so much to love about yourself, you just gotta get in the right headspace and see through the right lens." 

Yifan brings him into another kiss, at first brushing their lips together and then claiming Junmyeon's lips as his. He kisses him intensely, but it's brief because they are in someone else's house and it would probably be considered rude to just make out on their couch. 

Minseok finally walks in with whom Yifan assumes is his husband. The man follows Minseok and Yifan catches the way his hands clutch open and then close in rapid succession. His eyes dart nervously and uncomfortably and Yifan's slightly confused. 

"This is my husband," Minseok starts introducing as he sits down. The man moves and fits himself in Minseok's lap without regard for their guests, curling up to him as if trying to hide from the other two. "Introduce yourself, baby." He pats the other man's hip. 

The man slaps his thigh once and Yifan is shocked momentarily at the sudden action, his eyebrows furrowing as the man does it more and continues until Minseok has to press his hand down on top of it. "Baekhyun, I'm...nervous. Sorry." He speaks slowly, hesitating a bit before a couple of his words almost like he couldn't get them out. 

Junmyeon smiles at the man, Baekhyun. "Hey, Baek, long time no see. How are you?" 

"I'm good...Minseokkie told me that you were coming with a stranger and I got," Baekhyun pauses, looks for the right word, "anxious." 

Minseok smiles. "Good job expressing yourself, Baek." 

Baekhyun's lips twitch up in a smile at Minseok before he turns his head back to the newcomer. "What's your name?" 

Yifan can sense that there's something different about Baekhyun, not a bad different, but different than what he's used to. "I'm Yifan, it's nice to meet you, Baekhyun." He gives the other a small smile. 

"Nice to meet you too, Yifan. I...I know that I might come off, come off weird, to-to you. But I'm, not weird. I'm just special, special in a good way, right, Minseokkie?" When Minseok nods in agreement of Baekhyun's words, Baekhyun continues. "A-and I have...lots of good, good qualities. Like I can do math...very well. And science. And I can, can listen to music and...sing." Baekhyun's blunt and Yifan respects that as well as the way he stands up for himself. 

"No, I don't think you're weird." Yifan says honestly and chuckles a bit. "A bit different, but definitely not weird." 

Baekhyun's eyes aren't looking at Yifan in particular, they'll settle on him quickly and then look away. He only nods at Yifan's reply and continues to stare at the wall opposite to them. 

"Anyway." Minseok continues. "You wanted to talk about my past struggles?" 

Yifan nods. "Yeah, pretty much. But, only if you don't mind, I wouldn't wanna pressure you into talking about something uncomfortable. I mean, it is a lot to ask of someone I just met." 

Minseok shrugs. "Well, I trust Junmyeon with my own life, so if he can trust you, so can I. And I'm not getting any bad vibes off of you, so I'm taking it as a sign." Minseok explains, resting back on the couch and letting Baekhyun move himself. Baekhyun clings to Minseok, resting on his chest and laying his head in the crook of his neck.

Minseok doesn't hesitate in wrapping his arms around Baekhyun, he knows if the younger doesn't want it, he'll tell him. "Where to start?" He thinks for a bit. "I guess I'll start when I found Chanyeol." 

"You...found him?" Yifan questions, his eyebrows furrowed. 

"Once upon a time, I was in university and the day I found him, I was very stressed out, ready to go home and sleep because I was so sleep deprived back then. I specifically remember it too. I was walking by an alley way and right as I had walked past I heard a very small, very faint cry." Minseok recalls, his eyes distant as he thinks back to the memory. "So faint that I thought I imagined it. But then it happened again, this one was louder, more sad and agonizing. That led me to find an infant sitting in a trash can, bundled up and alone.

"His skin..." Minseok sighs with a pained facial expression, "his skin was red, really red and if I hadn't taken him in, he probably would've died of sunburn. Regardless of whether I wanted him or not, I was going to help him because he's a poor defenseless baby and only another monster, besides the one that left him there in the first place, would leave him there to die. But I think it was the way he stopped crying when he saw me and looked at me with those big brown eyes. Then he smiled at me, it was devastating and I couldn't help but be attached to him.

"I took him to the ER, told them exactly what happened. They said he was lucky I showed up when I did, a couple more hours out there and he would've been dead. They told me that they wanted him to stay overnight and then said how they were going to talk with Child Services the next day about getting him in the system. But I couldn't let that happen, so I told them straight out that I'll adopt him. Mind you, I'm a third year uni-student who's running off a scholarship and works a full time job just to pay rent and get groceries." Minseok shakes his head at the mention, thinking about how hard his life was and how from that point it only got harder. 

Minseok lets out a breath. "Thankfully, I was already saving up to buy a car and taking 400-500 dollars wouldn't set me back too much. So, once Child Services came, I asked to adopt him and they told me all about the court date and all that. I had to go through this whole process and everything, it was a lot. Usually you don't get to take the child home, but they let me keep him because it was a special situation and because they couldn't find a foster home fast enough.

"Anyway, I went to the first court date and you know what happened? The bitch that left Chanyeol there-" His voice was aggressive and slightly louder than before as he talked about her. Baekhyun seems to not like Minseok's cursing and change of tone and dynamics because he whines at his husband. "Sorry, baby, didn't mean to curse or yell." Then he directs his attention back to Junmyeon and Yifan. "Chanyeol's biological mother showed up and made up some story on the spot, which they believed. I'm not sure how, it was clear she was lying, but they actually believed that someone stole Chanyeol from her and then must've 'left him there so they wouldn't get caught'. It didn't make sense, why steal a baby if you're only going to leave him in a trash can? Didn't even question the fact that she never reported it to the police until it was brought up in one of the later dates.

"I fought for Chanyeol. I had to do it all by myself because even with the car money I had saved up, it wasn't enough to cover a lawyer. The university I went to had a law center, so I usually took my questions over there and asked some acquaintances. Somehow, probably by the mercy of God, I was able to prove she was lying and get her to confess that she was the one that left Chanyeol in the trash can." Minseok smirks as he remembers the look on her face when everyone figured out she was lying. It was totally worth it.

"But, unfortunately, my struggles didn't end there. Having a child while I was in uni and had to work full time was not something I thought through." Minseok makes a face that's directed at his younger self and Baekhyun just so happens to see, giggling softly at the funny face. Minseok smiles lightly at his husband, placing a firm peck on his temple because he knows Baekhyun doesn't react well to light touches. "I had to change my classes to online and ended up having a good friend of mine watch Chanyeol while I went to work. It was tough before I got the hang of it. All the baby stuff was so expensive, let alone feeding him and myself." 

Yifan snorts attractively. "Tell me about it." 

Minseok nods in agreement with Yifan. "Well, anyway, I finished university. It was hard, maintaining my scholarship while raising Chanyeol correctly and working, it all took a toll on me. But I wouldn't change it for the world. I was eventually able to get my life back on track and find a balance while still taking time for myself. Got a real job right out of university where I could work from home and watch over the little rascal and life slowly, but surely, got better for us. Then I met this cutie and eventually he became Chanyeol's second father." Minseok presses another kiss to Baekhyun's temple and Baekhyun smiles widely at Minseok while trying his best to keep eye contact since he's never been the best at it.

Baekhyun opens his mouth and tries to say something. He whines as he struggles a bit with letting it out with words. His brain has a hard time connecting the right words to his mouth and he glances away constantly, but Minseok keeps following so that they keep catching each other's eyes. Minseok encourages him though, continues to smile and nod his head as Baekhyun tries and tries until he finally lets out an,"I...love, you."

"I love you too, Baek." Minseok replies sweetly and then turns back to Yifan and Junmyeon. "So, Yifan, what's going on in your life?" 

"Sehun, my son, his mother is not the best person. She's trying to take him away from me even though she doesn't take care of him very well. Sehun tells me everything, he's always been good at recalling what's happened during their visits to me. She thinks I ruined her life, so she's trying to take money from me as compensation I guess. She was gone before, left on our wedding day with her boyfriend, but now she's back and trying to steal my son away." Yifan explains, sighing. "It's hard, working to buy food and rent the apartment and even pay off the lawyer bills, it's so much. I can't even bear the thought of sharing custody with her, let alone her having full custody. She's rich so she has that to her advantage in court. But I refuse to let her win, money or not. Sehun is  _ my _ son and no one is going to take him away from me." 

Instead of Minseok replying to his story, it's Baekhyun, which is very surprising. "I'm...sorry. That must be-be very hard on you. She doesn't sound, sound nice at all." 

Yifan nods his agreement. "You're right, Baekhyun. She definitely isn't the nicest person and she is not making things easy on me whatsoever." 

"A-A-Appa! P-Papa!" Chanyeol calls while running into the room. 

"Chanyeol, how many times do I have to remind you not to yell?" Minseok says to his son. "You know your Papa is sensitive to loud noises." 

Chanyeol deflates a bit, pouting and hunching into himself. "S-s-sorry." 

"What...is it, Yeollie?" Baekhyun asks, getting off of Minseok and paying attention to their son. 

"W-we we-were wo-wo-wo-wondering when l-lunch is?" Chanyeol's stutter gets worse when he's feeling guilty, so Baekhyun tries to make him feel better. 

Baekhyun gets up. "I'll make you food. Go...play with, with your friends and I'll make it...for you guys." Chanyeol smiles widely and walks up to his Papa, cautiously stretching his arms out for a hug. Baekhyun bends down and gives Chanyeol a hug along with a delicate kiss on the forehead. Chanyeol nuzzles against Baekhyun's head gently. 

"Th-thanks, Papa. I-I l-love you." Chanyeol says to Baekhyun. 

Baekhyun smiles. "L-love...you too, Chanyeol." He releases his son and Chanyeol runs off to play. 

Baekhyun starts heading off to the kitchen when Minseok stops him. "Wait." He makes sure that Baekhyun's looking him in the eye, even if he is glancing away. "Be careful in there, sweetheart, okay?" Baekhyun nods and goes into the kitchen. 

"So..." Yifan starts, "is Baekhyun...?" 

"Baekhyun has autism. He's a person though, a normal person. It's hard for him to express himself and read social cues and he is extra sensitive with his senses, but he's learning to overcome those things." Minseok explains. "And honestly, I think he would've preferred if you ask him that yourself. He'll try to help you understand as best he can." 

Yifan nods and smiles sheepishly. "Yeah, sorry, I was just worried he might get...offended I guess." 

"No worries. It happens. Just ask him next time if you have more questions" Minseok shrugs and gives him a small smile. "So, about Sehun's mother, why does she think you ruined her life?" 

"I don't know. Maybe 'cause I got her pregnant in university. But hey, it takes two to make a baby. At least I know I can't be blamed for it entirely seeing as it was consensual and we both agreed on using birth control instead of condoms." Yifan sighs and relaxes back into the couch. 

Then Kyungsoo comes walking into the room with tears streaming down his face. "Appa..." Junmyeon is up immediately and picks up his baby. "Appa, I'm-I'm tired." He whines to him. 

"Oh, my poor baby..." Junmyeon fusses over him and wipes away the tears on his face, moving some tendrils of hair away too. 

"What's the matter?" Yifan asks, concern lacing his voice. 

Junmyeon sighs as he lightly paces around and keeps Kyungsoo's head on his shoulder. "I'm not sure, he hasn't been able to sleep these past couple nights. He's really tired, my poor moomoo." Junmyeon pets his hair back as he rocks his whole body so maybe it'll help Kyungsoo go to sleep on him. It doesn't work seeing as Kyungsoo is still whining and crying in his shoulder.

Yifan gets up and approaches them. "Would you mind if...if I tried?" 

Junmyeon is shocked to say the least, but he shakes his head. "N-no, I wouldn't mind at all." He looks at Kyungsoo. "Baby, you wanna let Yifan try to help you sleep?" Kyungsoo lifts his head as his little fists rubs at his watering eyes. He makes a noise and nods. "Okay." 

Yifan starts taking Kyungsoo from his arms and Kyungsoo reaches out his little arms towards Yifan, hooking them around the older man and holding onto him tightly as he tries to sleep. "Um, Minseok, is there a place I can lay down with him?" 

Minseok points to a hallway. "Second door on your left is a guest bedroom. Use it as you wish." 

Yifan nods and walks down the hall, following the directions. Junmyeon stays behind and trusts that Yifan knows what he's doing. 

"Alright, what's wrong, little buddy?" Yifan carries the kid on his hip into the guest bedroom, opens the door and sits down on the clean bed. 

Kyungsoo rests his head on Yifan's arm. "I'm tired." 

"Yeah, well, I know that. But I'm asking what's keeping you up?" Yifan rubs Kyungsoo's back lightly.

There's some hesitation on Kyungsoo's end, but eventually he answers, "I-I saw a movie a-and there was a m-monster." 

It just doesn't sound right to Yifan. "Are you sure that's it? I know you're just a little kid, but I think you're a bit too...smart to let a monster scare you. So why don't you tell me what's really going on?" 

Kyungsoo looks down and sniffles for a couple seconds. "What if Appa s-stops loving me?" He asks in a quiet voice. "He-he has you and Sehunnie now, so he-he might not need me anymore." 

"Now that makes more sense. Well, if this thing has been stressing you out, it's definitely going to hinder your sleep." Yifan says more to himself than Kyungsoo. He pets Kyungsoo's hair back. "Kiddo..." Yifan looks down at Kyungsoo and he can see his bottom lip wobbling and tears filling his eyes. "Look, just because Junmyeon is including Sehun and I into your life more, doesn't mean he loves you less or will ever stop loving you. I know for a fact that you are the single most important person in his life, he loves you the most, more than me, more than Sehun, more than himself. You know why?" 

"Why?" Kyungsoo asks, wiping at his tears and keeping his head down shyly. 

Yifan smiles. "Because you are his son, you are a part of him. He will always love you, and even if Sehun and I are brought into your life permanently, that doesn't mean he would love you less. It just means he would love us all equally. But only if you were okay with it." 

"I don't care as long as he loves me a little bit more than he loves you." Kyungsoo replies honestly and Yifan chuckles at the little kid. 

"Of course. Now how about you and me take a nap together, little buddy?" Yifan asks and Kyungsoo nods his little head vigorously. 

Yifan lays back and takes Kyungsoo with him, placing him on his chest and letting him sprawl out. He rubs circles into Kyungsoo's back and he hears his breaths slowing down until they even out and he's in a peaceful rest. 

As he feels Kyungsoo's small snores, he starts thinking. He wonders if Sehun has felt that way before, like Yifan loves him less ever since he's been dating Junmyeon. He sure hopes Sehun doesn't. He doesn't really think so, but he truly doesn't know, just like how Junmyeon might not know about how Kyungsoo's been feeling. 

Sehun hasn't had any sleeping problems and he doesn't seem to be seeking Yifan's attention, but maybe Sehun's not as telling. Maybe he wants Yifan to figure it out without giving any hints; again, he's not sure. 

Usually, Sehun's pretty outspoken with his feelings and if he's not okay, he has been one to just say it. But it's easy for kids to change, easy for them to adopt a new tactic of looking for attention or being out with their feelings. He'll have to check once Kyungsoo's done napping. 

There's a gentle knock on the door and then Junmyeon is popping his head in, peeking at the pair on the bed. "Hey." He enters and walks to the edge of the bed to take a seat. 

"Hey, baby." Yifan whispers to him. 

"So you did it. Did you happen to catch what's wrong?" Junmyeon asks, sighing and reaching out his hand to touch his son's foot. 

Yifan looks at Junmyeon, who's staring at Kyungsoo's face smooshed against Yifan's chest. "He was stressed because he didn't want you to stop loving him. He thought that Sehun and I would take his place, that you wouldn't need him or want him anymore. Don't worry, I told him otherwise, reassured him that that wasn't it." 

Junmyeon turns his head, looking down in his lap as the next words tumble out of his mouth. "What am I doing wrong?" Junmyeon questions softly to himself. 

Then there's a sudden glistening on his face and Yifan is quick to notice. "What, Jun? What are you talking about?" 

Junmyeon looks at Yifan and Yifan spots the tears tracking down his face. "I-I...I thought I fixed it. I thought I...reassured him enough. First he thought I was going to abandon him and-and now, now he  _ still  _ thinks I don't love him?" He's basically whisper yelling, the tears coming out faster. "What am I doing wrong? He's my baby boy and I would do anything for him. I gave him attention, I gave him love, I gave him everything he wanted, how could I not? He's-he's my son and he's so cute and he says he loves me. Why can't I-?" 

"Hey, hey, Jun, please, come here, baby, come here." Yifan holds his hand out and as Junmyeon sniffles and cries, he slides up the bed further and takes his hand. "Look, he's fine now. He's completely fine, he knows you love him, he's good now, Jun." 

Junmyeon wipes at his tears and shakes his head. "No, there's-there's something going on. This is the second time, what happens if there's a third, a fourth? I don't want him to live that way, constantly doubting my love for him. He doesn't deserve that, he deserves to know how much I love him." 

Yifan strokes the back of Junmyeon's hand in a comforting way. "What are you gonna do?" He whispers to Junmyeon, whose tears are slowly drying up. 

"I think I'm gonna take him to a child psychologist. I can feel that something's not right, Yifan, I can and this only confirms my suspicion." Junmyeon says. "He's never been like this before, or maybe he has and I'm a terrible father because I never noticed it." 

"Junmyeon," Yifan sighs and narrows his eyes at his boyfriend, "you are literally the most attentive, most loving, most caring parent I have ever met. You give him what he wants and yet you still raise him right, you still raise him to be respectful and polite, and you shower him with so much love and affection. You're one of the best fathers out there, always have been, always will be, Junmyeon." 

"Thanks, babe." Junmyeon smiles fondly, "I really appreciate you doing this. For me and my son." 

Yifan nods. "Of course. I know you would do the same for me and Sehun." 

"Yeah." Junmyeon glances away before connecting gazes with Yifan. Junmyeon opens his mouth and gets ready to say something, something he's felt for quite some time towards Yifan. But he hesitates and looks at his son. 

"Were you gonna say something, baby?" Yifan asks, looking at Junmyeon expectantly. 

Junmyeon shakes his head. "Just...thank you, Yifan, seriously." 

Yifan gives Junmyeon a half smile and tugs him closer to give him a light peck on the lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't read my warning before, again, I do not have any intention to mock or offend anyone that knows or may have autism, it's simply to add to the story. I got the idea and went with it and I've done my best to portray it as accurately as possible. I've educated myself on the topic of autism with research as well as based off of the interactions I've had with people that are on the spectrum. I don't mean to hurt anyone by this. It is pure fiction. 
> 
> hope you liked the chapter and more chapters to come your way soon :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> individual time rn for the parents and children

Junmyeon hugs Kyungsoo to his chest tightly, using his son to cope. He's nervous. He's afraid that Kyungsoo has something wrong with him that might be his fault or a result of the way he's parenting him. 

Kyungsoo squirms in his father's hold. "Appa, too tight." 

"Sorry!" Junmyeon immediately loosens his grasp on his son and relaxes. "Sorry, moomoo, I didn't mean to hurt you." He uses his hand to move some of the hairs from Kyungsoo's eyes. "You need a haircut, your bangs are in your eyes." 

"Appa, why won't you tell me why we're here?" Kyungsoo asks. 

Junmyeon sighs. "You're too smart for me, aren't you, moos?" Kyungsoo just nods. "Well, Appa brought you down here so we can see what's going on with you. It's like a doctor visit." 

Kyungsoo's little brows furrow in confusion. "I'm not sick." 

"I know, you're not sick, moomoo." Junmyeon pushes his hair back, looking at his little face and then squishing his little cheeks. "This is a special type of doctor, he's gonna check you out for something else." 

"Why?" Kyungsoo questions immediately, his lips puckered out because of the way Junmyeon was smooshing his cheeks together. 

"Because Appa is worried something is going on with you." Junmyeon replies honestly, sighing as he stops pushing his cheeks together. 

Kyungsoo's face immediately fills with concern. "Is something wrong with me, Appa?" 

"No, baby, no, nothing is wrong with you." Junmyeon consoles him immediately, caressing his small cheek with his thumb. "They're just going to check and even if they do find something, that something might not be bad. Whatever it is, whether there is something or not, Appa is here for you. Appa will always be here for you and love you no matter what, okay?" 

"Okay." Kyungsoo murmurs quietly.

Junmyeon turns his head and kisses him on the check. "You're okay, moomoo. Everything's gonna be just fine." 

Kyungsoo relaxes in Junmyeon's arms and nuzzles his head into his neck. "I love you, Appa." 

Junmyeon kisses him on the forehead this time. "Love you too, moomoo. Love you so, so, so much." 

"Kim Junmyeon." The lady at the receptionist desk calls. "He's ready for you now." 

Junmyeon smiles and nods at her in acknowledgement. "Thank you." He mutters quietly and picks up Kyungsoo, walking to the door at the other side of the room. 

He opens it and walks into the place where there are two other rooms, one with the door open and the other with the door closed. Junmyeon's brows furrow, but ultimately he walks to the room with the door open and looks around. 

The room has a small table with toys like blocks, trucks, barbie dolls on it and another table that has paper and coloring utensils set up neatly. Junmyeon walks in further and continues looking around for the child psychologist. 

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting." Junmyeon jumps at the sudden voice behind him and he turns to look at the man walking in. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you either." He chuckles and closes the door behind him with a bright smile that gives Junmyeon instant comfort. 

"Oh, um, it's okay." Junmyeon sets Kyungsoo down beside him. "I'm, uh, Kim Junmyeon." He gets closer to the man and holds out his hand. 

The man takes his hand and shakes it firmly. "Nice to meet you, I'm Kim Jongdae. And who is this little fella?" He looks around Junmyeon at Kyungsoo. 

Junmyeon steps back and puts a hand on his son's back to nudge him a bit closer to Jongdae. "Go on, moos, it's okay."

Kyungsoo looks up at Junmyeon before slowly moving his gaze to Jongdae, who has now crouched down with a warm, inviting smile. "I'm Kyungsoo." He sticks out his hand just like Junmyeon did. 

Jongdae takes his smaller hand in his bigger hand. "I'm Dr. Jongdae and it is very nice to meet you, Kyungsoo. Do you wanna play? I have to talk to your Appa." 

Kyungsoo makes glances at the table with toys and looks back at Jongdae while shaking his head. "Do you have any books?" Kyungsoo asks softly.

"Of course." Jongdae stands up and walks over to a bin full of books in the far corner, Kyungsoo hot on his trail. "You can look through these and pick one you like." 

Jongdae motions for Junmyeon to follow him then and they start making their way out the door. Junmyeon starts to leave but Kyungsoo is quick to catch them in the act.

"Appa?" He calls, his brows furrowing as he sees Junmyeon following the man out of the room. "Where are you going?" 

Both of them stop and look at the little boy. Junmyeon is the first to speak up. "We're just going into the other room to talk, moomoo. Is that okay?" 

Kyungsoo shakes his head. "No, don't go. Please." He whispers to his father.

"Hey, Kyungsoo," Jongdae puts himself in the conversation. "Do you see that window right there?" He points at the big window in the middle of the wall, showing the room the two were talking about, and Kyungsoo glances back at it. "You can still see your Appa when we go in there, we just have to talk alone right now." 

"Why?" Kyungsoo asks and Junmyeon can hear the way his breathing is coming in slightly faster, just like it did when he left him with the babysitter the first time.

Junmyeon gets on his knees and opens his arms. "Come here, moomoo." Kyungsoo follows his orders and lets himself be hugged. "I'm gonna be right there. Right, right there, okay? I'll be back really, really soon. So let's grab a book, you can watch us walk out, and once you're okay, you can start reading. Alright, moos?" 

Kyungsoo feels tears filling his eyes. "Appa, no." His voice breaks as he shakes his head.

Jongdae interrupts the moment again. "You know what? We can talk right here. Is that better for you, Kyungsoo?" Kyungsoo immediately nods and Jongdae smiles. 

Junmyeon uses his thumbs to wipe away the tears that fell onto Kyungsoo's small cheeks. "Grab a book and get comfortable, moomoo." Junmyeon plants a kiss on his cheek and pets his hair back before Kyungsoo moves away and looks through the bin of books. 

After a couple minutes, Kyungsoo pulls out the book he wants to read and shows his Appa what he picked out, making sure he’s right where he left him after looking away for so long. Junmyeon smiles and nods. "That's a good one, moos." Kyungsoo positively beams then heads to the couch where he gets comfortable and opens the book to start reading. 

Junmyeon stands up and walks closer to Jongdae. "Okay, so what did you want to talk about?" 

"Um, just to get some background on him and why you're currently visiting." Jongdae says and glances over at Kyungsoo, who is currently engrossed in the book he picked out. "But, from what I just witnessed, why do you think he reacts like that when you try to leave?" 

"Well, I think it has to do with when his mother left us." Junmyeon sighs. "The night he was born, she ran away and abandoned us. Kyungsoo figured it out too soon. He kept seeing the kids around us and noticed that he was missing something that they all seemingly had. He asked me why he didn't have a mother, and I wanted to be honest with him, so I told him that she left us. But I tried my best to reassure him that we had each other and that was enough." 

Jongdae nods as he takes in what he's been told. "Has this ever happened before?" 

Junmyeon hums in agreement. "Yeah, when I first left him with the babysitter. I know her personally because she's a family friend, I knew I could trust her. So I had her come by when I had to go to a meeting and the moment I tried to leave, he grabbed my leg and cried, no screaming, but he sure did cry. After that I realized that if I'm gonna leave him with someone, he has to be completely comfortable with them and reassured that I will be back." 

"I see, I see." Jongdae says as he processes everything. "Alright, is this the same reason you're here today?" 

"Um, no, actually, I came here today because he seems to be worrying over these negative thoughts. Last week he couldn't sleep because he stressed himself out over thinking I was going to leave him. It had happened before except he thought I didn't love him that time. It was when I first got with my boyfriend and wasn't giving all my attention to him anymore. I thought it was alright after we talked and I reassured him that I love him, but I guess it didn't work." Junmyeon glances over at Kyungsoo. The child glances up at him and then gets back to his book. 

“You said you just got with this boyfriend?” Jongdae repeats for clarification. 

Junmyeon takes a moment to think. “Well, when he first started having these thoughts, it was when I had gotten with my boyfriend. I’ve been with him for a little bit now and it seems that Kyungsoo’s gotten used to him, but he still seems to feel...threatened by him and his son, I guess?” 

Jongdae hums as he takes in that information. “It’s most likely the change that’s sparked this line of thinking. Some children have a very hard time adjusting to new, different situations.”

Junmyeon feels so dumb. Of course he would benefit from the change that he wanted, but he didn’t even stop to think about how it would affect or how Kyungsoo would react to a sudden shift in their daily life and interactions. “Oh, I...I didn’t think about it like that.” Junmyeon thought it would be okay, thought that it was alright to be selfish this one time, he sacrificed so much to raise Kyungsoo, having this one thing for himself won’t do anything, right? He must’ve been wrong. 

“Are you alright?” Jongdae asks him after reading over the look on his face. 

“I feel awful. I caused him to start thinking this way.” Junmyeon puts a hand over his face as the crushing, self deprecating disappointment settles in.

Jongdae rests a comforting hand on Junmyeon’s shoulder. “Look, Junmyeon, it’s not your fault. Yes, changes can be hard on children, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t good. If your boyfriend makes you happy, then that’s going to benefit both you and Kyungsoo. It’s harder for children if the parents aren’t in a good place themselves.” 

At the reassurance, Junmyeon nods. “You’re right. You’re right. It’s already happened now and...I have been happier than I was before.” 

“That’s really good to hear, Junmyeon.” Jongdae smiles and removes his hand. “And it’s good you thought to bring him here, changes are hard, but I can certainly help Kyungsoo by guiding him through it and finding him different ways to adapt and adjust.” Junmyeon nods in agreement. "Alright,” Jongdae continues, “I'm gonna go into the other room to grab my notebook and make some questions for Kyungsoo so I can make an accurate diagnosis. When he's done with his book, I'll try talking to him then." 

Junmyeon agrees with this and they break apart, Jongdae moving to the other room and Junmyeon walking over to his son. He sits down beside him and when Kyungsoo looks up, he asks, "Wanna sit on my lap, moomoo?" 

Kyungsoo is all too quick to crawl over and situate himself in Junmyeon's lap. Once he's relaxed and Junmyeon has a firm hold on his son, Kyungsoo opens the book to the page he was on and continues reading. He's almost done with the book so he knows that Jongdae will be coming back soon. 

There's certainly something there, Junmyeon knows it, can feel it. Also knows it because he too has some anxiety issues. They're under control currently but there are the days where his brain just can't ignore them. 

When Junmyeon was younger, he continuously taught himself self love and acceptance because he knew that it'd help him beat the anxiety in his head. Every single day was a battle, but the moment Kyungsoo was born, Junmyeon knew his purpose and ultimately reached the level of self-love needed to live his life without being controlled by his anxiety. He wanted to take this self-love and teach it to his son because Kyungsoo deserves to live his best life regardless of what happens. 

Junmyeon brings a hand up and plays with Kyungsoo's hair as he continues to read, moving his bangs and planting a gentle, loving kiss on his forehead. Even if Kyungsoo does have some type of anxiety, which Junmyeon is about 99.99% sure he does, Junmyeon is going to help him. It's hard to teach self-love to yourself and Junmyeon wants to make it easier by encouraging Kyungsoo like Junmyeon wished he had from his parents when he was younger.

Kyungsoo flips the book close after he reads the last page and looks up at Junmyeon. "I'm done." He says to him quietly. 

Jongdae comes in shortly after the statement and stops in front of them. "Kyungsoo, can I talk to you?" Kyungsoo doesn't like the idea seeing as he reaches a hand back and grips at Junmyeon's shirt. "Your Appa is gonna be right here the whole time, I just wanna sit and talk with you is all." 

Junmyeon looks at his son. "You can trust him, moos. He's very, very nice and all he wants to do is talk. I"m right here." 

"Would it be easier for you if we played while we talked?" Jongdae suggests and there's hesitation on Kyungsoo's face, but he nods anyway. "Okay, go pick out some toys that we can play with." Jongdae's voice is soft and his smile is as warm as the moment he introduced himself. 

Kyungsoo climbs off of Junmyeon's lap and off of the seat, walking over to where the toy cars are. He picks up four and walks back over to Jongdae, who has since made himself comfortable on the carpet. Kyungsoo places the cars down and sits down across from the therapist, keeping his eyes down as he picks out the cars he wants to play with and Jongdae takes the other two. 

"So, Kyungsoo..." Jongdae starts as he rolls a car back and forth just like Kyungsoo is doing. "when I'm alone, I like to think about things like my family. But sometimes when that happens, I get these thoughts that aren't nice. Does that happen to you sometimes too?" 

Kyungsoo is quiet for a bit before he shrugs. "Yeah, sometimes." 

Jongdae hums. "Usually for me, I suddenly start feeling down about myself and telling myself that they don't love me, like I'm preparing myself to face the rejection. Is it the same thing for you?"

"Yeah." Kyungsoo admits, rolling the car back and forth and then making an abrupt left turn. 

"Left or right?" Jongdae asks. 

"Right." Kyungsoo responds and Jongdae moves the car to the right. 

Jongdae maneuvers the car around Kyungsoo's. "What do you say to yourself?" 

Kyungsoo's face morphs into a grimace and he glances up at Junmyeon, who's pretending to be occupied by his phone. He lowers his voice significantly, but Junmyeon can still catch what he tells Jongdae. "Appa doesn’t love me anymore. Appa is gonna leave me like Eomma did. How...I think that Appa won't want me because I'm not good." 

"I definitely know where you're coming from." Jongdae relates, pushing the toy car around. "It must be hard. And I've heard it stops you from sleeping sometimes?" 

"Yeah." Kyungsoo replies honestly. 

Jongdae hums sympathetically. “And why do you think these thoughts happen and stop you from sleeping?” 

"Mr. Jongdae, I don't like these questions." Kyungsoo says instead of answering the question.

"I know, Kyungsoo, these questions probably don't make you feel good, but can I ask you one more question?" Jongdae asks for permission and Kyungsoo nods. "Do you worry a lot over these thoughts?" 

Kyungsoo nods slowly in agreement. "Yeah. Sometimes when I start thinking, those thoughts come into my head and I can't stop thinking about it." 

"The same thing has happened to me. I completely understand, Kyungsoo." Jongdae smiles and picks up his notebook, writing down everything they went over in this session. "And that's all I needed to know. Thank you for answering me, Kyungsoo. I'm gonna talk to your Appa one more time, so why don't you keep on playing for now, yeah?" Kyungsoo silently agrees as Jongdae gets up and sits next to Junmyeon. 

When Junmyeon is sure Kyungsoo is playing and not paying any attention to them, he turns to Jongdae. Jongdae is situating himself on the seat, his legs crossed and his notebook sitting in his lap. "What are your findings, Dr. Kim?" 

"Oh, no need to be so formal, Junmyeon." Jongdae smiles widely and pushes his hair back. "Jongdae is fine. Now, down to business," Jongdae takes a quick scan over his notes then continues, "well, my diagnosis is Kyungsoo has a pretty mild case of separation anxiety and possibly general anxiety. However, I’m going to need further analysis to properly diagnose him with general anxiety. It could be the change that’s doing it and once he’s adjusted he should be just fine, but I’ll have to probe a bit more to see if it goes beyond the situation." 

Junmyeon sighs and bites his lip while looking at his child. "I knew it. How do you suggest dealing with it?" 

"I would like to try counseling and if that doesn't help too much, cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT. If it only seems to get worse, we might have to put him on medication, but I highly doubt it will." Jongdae explains calmly. 

"Okay. Um, what's your hourly rate?" Junmyeon questions, looking back at Jongdae. 

"Twenty dollars an hour for counseling, bumped up to twenty-three if we go with CBT." Jongdae replies. "If I take him on, it'd be one session per-week, one or two hours per session, your choice." 

Junmyeon hums. "Alright, let's do that then. He'll do one hour to start, but if you think he needs two, then please let me know and we'll change it." 

Jongdae is quick to jot down the information and then he clicks his pen. He rips off the paper and hands it to Junmyeon. "Give this to the receptionist and you can schedule your first appointment as a trail run. If it goes well and you both would like to see me, then you can make more appointments after that. Sound good?" 

Junmyeon nods. "Yes." He stands up and Jongdae does the same. "Thank you, Jongdae, I appreciate this." 

"Of course. I'm always here if you ever have questions." Jongdae smiles and looks at Kyungsoo. "I'll see you later, Kyungsoo." 

Kyungsoo looks up at him and waves at him to which Jongdae's smile grows bigger. Junmyeon holds out his hand. "Come here, moomoo, it's time to go." Kyungsoo, being the good little boy he was, picks up the toy cars and puts them back where they were before running back over to Junmyeon, who scoops him up into his arms. 

They walk out and Junmyeon hands the piece of paper from Jongdae to the receptionist. She takes it and inputs the information. "Are you available next week? Um...next Friday at one pm to be specific?" She looks up at him. 

"Oh, yeah, that's just fine." Junmyeon replies as Kyungsoo lays his head on Junmyeon's shoulder, nuzzling in deep. He places a hand on the back of his head and strokes gently. 

The receptionist is back to typing. "Okay, sir, next Friday at one is his first appointment. I'm pretty sure he already told you this, but just to reiterate, this first appointment is a trail run and if you'd like to continue seeing Jongdae, then we'll schedule more appointments after that." 

"Okay, thank you so much." Junmyeon smiles appreciatively. 

"Have a good day, sir." She smiles back at him sweetly. 

Junmyeon nods. "You too." He leaves the front desk and pulls out his phone, going to his calendar and somehow managing to type in the time of the appointment on the Friday after this upcoming Friday. 

"Appa?" Kyungsoo's little voice says. 

Junmyeon turns his head as far as he can to look at him. "Yes, moomoo?"

"Do we have to come back here?" Kyungsoo asks, lifting his head to look at him. 

"Yes, we do have to come back." Junmyeon replies honestly. 

Kyungsoo is silent for a bit. "Does that mean there's something wrong with me, Appa?" 

"No, baby." Junmyeon pushes some hair out of his son's eyes. "There is nothing wrong with you, moomoo. You only have anxiety and the anxiety you have could be worse. It's perfectly okay to have anxiety, lots of people have it. Like me, and so many other people I know."

"Then why do we have to come back here?" Kyungsoo asks, putting his head back on Junmyeon's shoulder as Junmyeon walks across the parking lot to their car. 

"Because it's something we should deal with. Anxiety can make life harder and I want to stop that because you shouldn't have to go through that at your age, moos. We're going to treat it so it doesn't get worse. I want you to live a happy life, moomoo. I hope you know that I'm only doing it because it's gonna help you." Junmyeon turns and kisses Kyungsoo's head. 

Kyungsoo wriggles to get more comfortable in Junmyeon's grasp. "Okay, Appa." 

When Junmyeon gets to their car, he stops before he opens the door. "Kyungsoo, look at me, baby." 

Kyungsoo looks at him like he asks, his doe eyes wide and attentive. "Hm?" he hums as he waits for Junmyeon to continue. 

Junmyeon takes a moment to gaze at his son, looking at his beautiful face. "You are my little angel, Kyungsoo. I love you so, so, so, so much. You're my baby, my light, my whole life. There is nothing in this world that will ever make me stop loving you, okay?" 

Kyungsoo's cheeks get pink and he giggles at what his Appa tells him, a small, shy smile on his little lips. "I love you too, Appa." 

Junmyeon smiles and kisses his little cheek, then starts on getting him into the car so they can go home. 

\- AT YIFAN'S PLACE-

Yifan sets up a table and a plate in front of Sehun. "Here's lunch, bubs. I hope you don't mind, it's left over from yesterday's dinner." 

Sehun shakes his head and speaks in Mandarin instead of Korean. " _I don't mind, Baba. Where's your food_?" 

"Ask me in Korean, Sehunnie. You have to learn." Yifan scolds him lightly. 

Sehun huffs, but obeys. "Where your...food is?" 

Yifan corrects him. "Where is your food?" 

"Where is your food?" Sehun responds after Yifan's correction. "Baba, where is your food?" He repeats one more time to help it stick in his memory. 

"I'm not hungry." Yifan says and sits beside his son. 

Sehun's eyebrows furrow. " _Bullshit_." He curses and calls him out for it. 

Yifan's eyes widened in shock as he heard his son cursing. "Sehun!"

" _What? That's what_ you _say whenever someone is lying_." Sehun replies factually. 

Yifan is flabbergasted to the point where he can barely sputter out, " _But, I-I'm an adult_!" 

" _So_?" Sehun raises an eyebrow with quite a bit of attitude. 

Yifan has to take a moment to regain his composure. " _I should punish you for saying that, you little brat. You know Baba is the only one who can curse. Maybe when you're older, but certainly not now. I better not hear you repeat that to anyone or to me, you understand_?" He scolds his son firmly in Chinese.

Sehun pouted. " _Fine. I won't repeat it, Baba, I swear_." 

" _I can't believe you're swearing again, Sehun_ !" Yifan teases him and Sehun giggles when Yifan fakes a mean glare while poking him in the side. " _Don't go around swearing either_." 

" _Okay, I swear I won't swear anymore_." Sehun replies as Yifan scrunches his nose at him. 

" _What a naughty boy you are, Sehun. I don't even know who you are anymore_." Yifan gasps dramatically. "Now say it in Korean, then I'll forgive you." 

Sehun takes a minute to think. "I can't say it...in Korean." 

"Close enough." Yifan says and kisses his son on the head. "Now _eat_."

Sehun huffs but does as he's told, eating the meal silently as Yifan reclines back on the couch. Yifan relaxes as he feels the hunger cramps striking through his abdomen. He'll drink some water once he gets up again then he'll be completely fine. 

Sehun scoops a spoonful of food and holds it out to his father. "Eat please." He's looking at Yifan with wide, pleading eyes. 

A smile tugs onto Yifan's lips. How did he get so lucky to have a son like Sehun? "No, Sehunnie, I'm okay, really. Eat your food, bubs." 

"No. Eat please." Sehun replies, scooting over on the couch and holding the spoon closer to Yifan's mouth. 

Yifan sighs and relents. "Just one bite, Sehunnie, then you finish it." He takes the spoon into his mouth and eats the food off of it. 

Sehun smiles and takes the spoon back, continuing to eat his food. Yifan watches Sehun as he does and feels as that small bite of food satisfied the tiniest bit of his hunger, but only makes him feel hungrier. But he resists as he's taught himself over time, it's more important that Sehun eats than it is for him to eat, plus he has to save enough for dinner so that they can eat together. Yifan knows he can get by with less than a snack and a meal for the day, so he's got to save it for later so he can sleep. 

Yifan ended up paying the lawyer that week, so it was hard to scrounge up enough money to provide food that would last the entire week. He had to ration as best he could and he knew he'd have to sacrifice a couple meals so that Sehun doesn't go hungry. He'd rather starve himself than let Sehun go hungry for a minute. 

He gets up and walks to the kitchen, grabbing a glass and filling it with tap water. He downs the cup and forces the hunger away, drinking about two more glasses until he's full on water. 

It won't last long, he knows it won't, but Yifan has got to do it so he can survive until dinner. He sets the cup in the sink and goes back into the living room, sitting next to his son again. 

Sehun is done eating and he's now staring at his father. "Baba, why do you...only feed me?" Sehun has a bit of a hard time formulating the sentence, but he eventually gets it out, looking at Yifan. 

"Because you need to eat. You're growing and you need all the nutrition you can get." Yifan replies honestly. "Don't worry about me, bubs. It's my job to do whatever I can for you, and your job to grow up happy." 

Sehun crawls over to Yifan and situates himself on his lap, leaning against his chest and resting his head. "Why...I can't," Sehun pauses and thinks hard on making his next sentence, "Why I can't worry about you?" 

"I can take care of myself, Sehun. I'm an adult and I'm your parent. As your parent, it's my job to take care of you and make sure that you grow up right. As a kid, you’re supposed to learn and play and not worry about me, but about yourself." Yifan tells him and uses one of his big hands to brush Sehun's hair back. Then he thinks of a question he meant to ask Sehun earlier, "Are you okay, Sehun?"

"I feel fine, Baba." Sehun responds with confusion still clear in his tone, misunderstanding the question. 

"No, Sehun, I mean, are you okay? Do you feel happy? Are you okay with me dating Junmyeon? Are you okay with living like this? Are you okay with the way your mother is treating you? Are you okay with seeing your mother in general?" Yifan goes on and on, then sums it up into one question. "Are you okay with everything that's going on in your life?" 

Sehun looks up at his father and pouts. "That's a big question, Baba." 

"I know, bubs, you're right. It is a really big question. So let me ask you all the small questions one at a time, and I want you to answer them as honestly as possible. Got it, Sehun?" Yifan says, gazing down at his son. 

"Okay, Baba." Sehun nods once. 

"Are you happy, Sehun?" Yifan asks.

"I don't know." Sehun immediately responds. "Sometimes I am...but sometimes I'm not. When I'm with Mama, I'm not." Sehun's answers are meticulous and he's correcting his own sentences when he needs to. Yifan feels a surge of pride.

Yifan kisses the top of his head. "Bubs, I want you to know that it's okay to feel that way. Right now I'm trying everything to make sure she can't take you away from me, and she won't. If you ever want to leave and be away from her, then call me no matter what time it is, and I will come pick you up. You understand me, Sehun?" 

"I understand, Baba." Sehun agrees. 

There's a small silence between the two before Yifan asks a question that's been on his mind for a while. "Are you okay with my relationship with Junmyeon? That we're together and that he has a son. That one day...we might even get," Yifan gulps, "...we could possibly stay together for a very long time.

Sehun nods instantly with a growing beam. "Of course! He's very, very nice and...he gives care to you." Sehun tries his best to say. 

"You mean to say he takes care of me?" Yifan corrects. 

"Yeah! He takes care of...you." Sehun smiles proudly. 

Yifan smiles. "That's good, I'm glad you like him because I like him a lot as well. And I'm also super proud of you, Sehunnie. You're getting better at Korean, keep it up, bubs." 

Sehun nods. "Okay, Baba. I will keep...you proud." 

Yifan hugs him tight to his chest. "I know you will. Anyway, to continue with our questions, are you okay with living this way?"

Sehun shrugs. "As long," Sehun pauses and tries to think of how to continue the sentence, "you here with me, it's okay." 

Yifan ruffles his hair affectionately. "Same for me, Hunnie. You make things a lot more bearable. Now...about your mother, is everything okay with you and her? Do you like seeing her? Do you like being with her?"

"N-Not really." Sehun admits, looking down at his lap. "I...she doesn't like me." 

"I'm..." Yifan has to stop and take a breath. "I'm so sorry you're in the middle of this, bubs. You don't deserve it, but she's trying to get back at me and unfortunately, she has to hurt you in the process to hurt me." 

Sehun pouts at Yifan's apology. "Why...uh, why she want to hurt you, Baba?" 

"Because she thinks I ruined her life." Yifan replies simply. "We had unprotected sex and she got pregnant. She blames me for it." He knows his words are crude for talking to a little kid, but he wants to be completely truthful with Sehun because he deserves the truth even if he can't quite comprehend it at the moment. 

Sehun looks back down into his lap from where he had been gazing at his father. "Oh...well, I don't blame for it you." 

Yifan looks at his kid and pats the top of his hair gently. "Thanks, bubs. You're one of the only good things in my life. You're the sole reason for me being here right now and let me tell you, I wouldn't change a single thing."

"I love you, Baba. More than...thing in the world!" Sehun says and lifts his head with a wide, genuine smile, not realizing he's missing a part of the word. 

Yifan returns it with a small, genuine smile of his own. "I love _you_ more than anything in the world, bubs." 

  
Yifan decides to stay quiet and hold his son. He lives in the moment, listens to their surroundings, feels Sehun's tiny body resting against his own, watches as the world stills while they live, just _be_ in that very moment. That's all either of them need at this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the comments and kudos, always highly appreciated. hope you guys are happy with this fic so far and are excited for the last two chapters which I will be putting out tmr! 
> 
> thanks for reading <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you’ll see ;)

Yifan doesn't want to do it, he never wants to let his son go. It's hard to be away from Sehun when he's so used to being with him and having him by his side. Unfortunately, it's under the courts order that Sehun spends every other weekend with his mother and maybe sometimes even longer if agreed upon. 

Sehun is standing with his little bag on his back in front of Yifan. " _ Baba, do I have to go _ ?" He asks with wide, pleading eyes not to make him go with his mother. He's so desperate to communicate his feelings, he even uses Chinese when asking. 

Yifan heaves a sad sigh and nods as he bends down in front of Sehun. " _ Yes, Sehunnie, you have to go. But you'll be okay. Just...try to enjoy your time with your mother, you never know, maybe she has something planned for you _ ." He shrugs and tries to give his son some hope when it comes to seeing his mother. 

" _ But I don't want to go with her _ ." Sehun whines and glances back to where his mother is sitting in the car looking rather impatient. 

" _ I know, bubs, but I can't do anything, the court ordered it so you have to see her. I'm sorry that this is unfair to you _ ." Yifan apologizes, pulling his son into his arms and hugging him tightly. 

Sehun reciprocates the gesture, wrapping his small arms around Yifan's neck. " _ The cohort is stupid _ ." Sehun manages to mispronounce and Yifan can't help but laugh at the insult towards the court. He would never admit this out loud, but he wholeheartedly agrees with that statement. 

" _ I think you meant to say 'court' _ ," Yifan corrects him as they pull away. " _ Repeat after me, court _ ." 

" _ Court. _ " Sehun repeats and then says the sentence once more. " _ The _ court  _ is stupid _ ." 

Yifan laughs and ruffles Sehun's hair. " _ Don't go around repeating that okay _ ?" 

" _ Got it, Baba _ ." Sehun goes in for one more hug, clutching Yifan tightly in his tiny fists. " _ I love you _ ." 

" _ Love you too, Sehunnie. Be good for Baba, please. And use Korean around your mother, it's rude to speak to someone in a language they don't know _ ." Yifan pets the back of Sehun's hair gently before pulling away and kissing the top of his head. " _ You remember my phone number in case of emergencies _ ?" Yifan asks as the question pops up in his mind at the last minute. 

Sehun nods. " _ Yes, I remember and I will, Baba. Goodbye _ ." Just at that moment, Sehun's mother honks the horn and Yifan has to refrain from rolling his eyes. Sehun jumps a bit and takes a quick glance back before sighing and turning around. 

"I love you!" Yifan finds himself calling to his son despite the fact that he just said it. 

Sehun turns around and Yifan has the pleasure of watching a small smile tug onto his little lips then he continues to walk and opens the door. She comes out and picks him up, putting him in the car seat and buckling him up - a little less securely than Yifan would like, but that's his problem. She closes the door and sends a sneer in Yifan's direction to which he only shows her a guarded, cold expression, he doesn't even attempt to give her the satisfaction of a reaction. 

Instead he moves his eyes to his son, who's already looking at him and once their eyes connect, he waves at him rather adorably. Yifan's eyes soften and he waves back with a slight smile. Sehun's mother all but drives away like a bat out of hell and Yifan can no longer see his son as the car takes off into the distance. 

There's a hole in his heart and he immediately misses Sehun. He thought that with these visits, he'd eventually get used to it, but no, he hasn't been able to fight off the lonely feeling. 

Yifan sighs and walks back into his apartment. He pulls out his phone and decides to bother Junmyeon since he doesn't have anything better to do. 

The phone rings and rings and by the fourth ring, Yifan's worried Junmyeon isn't going to pick up. Then the line picks up and he's listening to Junmyeon's voice. "Hello?" 

"Hey, baby." Yifan starts. 

"Oh!" Junmyeon sounds surprised, but Yifan can also hear the smile stretching itself across his lips. "Hey, babe, what's up?" 

Yifan sits on the couch as he speaks. "Um, nothing really. Sehun just left for the weekend and I was feeling kinda lonely I guess, so I thought I should call you." 

"Awe, you miss him, don't you?" Junmyeon almost coos into the phone. 

"Yeah, I miss him a lot." Yifan admits. "Um, what are you up to?" 

Junmyeon chuckles into the phone. "Actually, I just dropped off Kyungsoo for his appointment." 

"Really? How did he take to you leaving?" Yifan asks. 

"Well, since this is his second appointment, he still cried, but not as bad as the first appointment. He's starting to trust Jongdae, slowly, but it's happening." Junmyeon replies. "I have two hours free now, so...would you mind if I swing by for the time being?" 

Yifan's brows furrow. "Two hours? I thought his sessions only lasted one?" 

Yifan can hear the faint sounds of Junmyeon getting into his car and starting it up. "After the melt down last time, Jongdae thought we should bump up the time to two hours, so now I'm free for even longer." 

"Then definitely come swing by, I would love to have you over." Yifan agrees with what Junmyeon had asked earlier.

"Okay. I'm stopping to get some food, are you hungry?" Junmyeon asks and he can hear Junmyeon starting to drive in his car. 

Yifan takes a moment to contemplate. He's not feeling very hungry right now so he replies, "No, I'm good, thank you though." 

"Of course." Junmyeon says. "Alright, I'll see you in a bit, FanFan." 

"Okay, baby, see you." Yifan responds and hangs up. 

It's another lonely twenty minutes before Junmyeon shows up. He knocks and Yifan is up immediately, opening the door and greeting his boyfriend with a soft peck on the lips. 

Junmyeon walks in holding two bags of food and sits down on the couch while setting down the bags by his feet. "So, I ended up bringing you food anyway."

"Baby, I told you I'm fine." Yifan looks at the food and then back at Junmyeon. "You really didn't have to."

Junmyeon is quick to refute Yifan's claim. "Well, I bought it anyway because you have a terrible habit of lying to me when you're hungry." 

Yifan's eyebrow raises at the accusation. "I don't know what you're talking about." 

"Yifan, you're not that good at lying." Junmyeon sighs and shakes his head. "Sehun even confirmed it. He told me himself to make sure that you eat because he can't always give you a bite of his food." 

"When did he tell you this?" Yifan asks incredulously. 

"One of the times you came over with him and we had lunch. He asked me to feed you and told me it's because sometimes you don't." Junmyeon replies. At that very moment, Yifan's stomach grumbles as he catches the scent of fresh, greasy chicken. It's a low sound, but loud in the quiet room. Junmyeon only raises an eyebrow as his point is proved. "Can we eat now?" 

Yifan sighs in defeat as he sits down and takes one of the bags. "Thank you." He says as he opens it and pulls out a box of chicken. 

"Of course." Junmyeon says as he pulls out his own box of chicken. "Now, tell me," He starts to tear apart a chicken wing with his fingers, "Why don't you eat?" 

Yifan shrugs as he stares into the box of chicken. "Some weeks I have to use my money wisely, enough to pay the rent, the lawyer and buy groceries to last a week. If I only have enough to feed Sehun, then I'll only feed Sehun. If there's enough for me, then I'll eat, but sometimes that's not the case. Starving myself sucks, but I have to put Sehun before myself." 

Junmyeon looks up from where he was eating his chicken wing, a bit of grease smeared on the corner of his mouth. His eyes were starting to turn red and it looked like he would start crying soon. "I...I'm sorry." He puts down the chicken wing. "I'm so sorry, that must be...hard." 

Yifan glances over at his boyfriend and sets down the box of food, sliding over and putting a hand on Junmyeon's face so that Junmyeon is looking into his eyes. "Don't feel bad for me, Junmyeon." 

"Why not?" Junmyeon is quick to reply. "Why can't I feel sympathy for you? Just...just imagining me and my son being in that situation...God, it's just...awful! What about the days you can't even feed Sehun?" 

"Sehun has never gone hungry, even for a day. I've never let it happen." Yifan stops the train of thought before Junmyeon can overthink it. 

"What about you then, Yifan?" Junmyeon's tears form and slide down his cheeks. "You shouldn't be going hungry, your son shouldn't have to see you starve yourself. You need to be as healthy as you can be, you and Sehun. So you can take care of Sehun and so Sehun can grow big and strong." 

Yifan wipes away a tear and leans over, kissing Junmyeon's cheek gently. "Sehun is going to grow up big and strong. He's eating well and getting what he needs, so I'm going to continue living regardless of how much I starve. Regardless of what I'm put through, I'll live for him." 

Junmyeon is silent for a second there, biting his lip as a couple more tears trail their way down his face. "What about me?" His voice is small and barely audible but Yifan hears what he says. "I know it's selfish to say, but I care about you, Yifan. You have plenty of life left within you, you shouldn't have to worry about living as long as you're needed, you should live as long as you want. I want you to live a long life, even if we don't work out. Sehun will want you alive so that you can see him have a relationship, so that you can maybe even see him raise children of his own." 

"I'll eat more when I have the money. For the time being, Sehun and I must live off of what I have." That's all Yifan can say because it's the truth. 

Junmyeon wants to disagree, wants to offer his support, but he knows Yifan will decline like the stubborn man he is, Junmyeon will have to try to convince him later, he’s just not up for a fight right now. "Okay. Well, let's eat for now then." He looks into Yifan's eyes with a pleading look as if to beg him to eat what he brought. Yifan was going to eat it anyway, but now he'll finish it all just to make the expression on Junmyeon's face go away. 

Yifan takes a napkin from one of the bags and wipes at the chicken grease on his cheek along with the trail left behind from his tears. "Let's eat." He says once he's done cleaning Junmyeon's face. 

So they eat in silence, Junmyeon's mind working hard to process everything Yifan told him, working so hard that Yifan can hear the cogs in his head over thinking, over turning the information. Yifan's brooding as well, dwelling on what they spoke about previously. 

"How's Kyungsoo?" Yifan asks after chewing and swallowing some chicken. 

"He seems to be getting better." Junmyeon replies. "Like I told you, he didn't cry too much when I left this time, he's warming up to Jongdae. He even has a little coloring book and journal." 

Yifan takes another bite. "Really? Has he shown you anything?" 

Junmyeon ponders for a moment as he pulls apart a chicken wing. "He likes to show me the pictures he colors, but not the journal. He barely lets me see the cover. I haven't asked about it because I believe that journals and diaries alike are meant to be kept private. If he wants to show me, he will, but if he doesn't, that's totally fine."

"...Are you actually okay with that, baby?" Yifan is smirking a bit as he looks over at Junmyeon. He knows his boyfriend too well because he knows for a fact that Junmyeon has a hard time minding his own business. Most of the time it isn't too bad of a habit, but sometimes it can be overwhelming and a tad annoying when he pries. 

Again, Junmyeon is silent for a few moments before responding. "You know I'm not, but I have to be. It's his private journal and I can't go through it. I'd probably get scolded by Jongdae and Kyungsoo would probably see it as a betrayal of his trust." 

Yifan chuckles. "You're so cute, Jun. Absolutely adorable." He rips into another piece of chicken, tearing it with his teeth and catching the delightful smell that had been coming off of it earlier. 

"It's a terrible habit of mine if you haven't already noticed, FanFan." Junmyeon says, eating off of the chicken bone. 

"I'd have to be blind not to notice." Yifan comments and finishes up his box of chicken. "I let you do it to me, but maybe you should ask or just wait until he's ready." 

Junmyeon pouts at his chicken box. "Patience is not something I have." 

"Then you'll teach yourself to be more patient. I'm sure Kyungsoo wouldn't hate you if you did go through his journal, but it's important to let him have his privacy. He'll trust you even more and will most likely show you it eventually. You're like his best friend." Yifan attempts to console his boyfriend. 

Junmyeon looks at his boyfriend. "How are you so patient? You never have to pry to get me to tell you something, how do you wait so long?" 

Yifan smiles at Junmyeon with fond eyes. "Jun, baby, you're so talkative, I don't even have to wait that long." 

"Are you saying I can't shut up?" Junmyeon asks and pouts even more. 

"No." Yifan grabs a napkin and wipes the grease and crumbs off of his fingers. "But you do talk enough for the both of us." 

"Meanie." Junmyeon mutters as he gets a napkin for himself and copies the motions. 

Yifan shoves the napkin in the box and puts the box into the bag as he huffs out a laugh. "You're too cute, Jun." He uses a hand to get Junmyeon to face him and he plants a kiss on his lips. 

Junmyeon puts his own box into the bag and turns his body so that he's completely facing Yifan after the kiss. "I'm not cute." 

"Yes, you are and you know it." Yifan leans forward, taking Junmyeon's lips with his own again. 

Whatever protest Junmyeon has dies on his tongue as he kisses Yifan indulgently. It's passionate and makes Junmyeon's heart race. He brings his hands up and wraps them around Yifan's nape, his fingers toying with the hair there. 

Yifan hums against his mouth and Junmyeon can't help the giggle that escapes when he does. He breaks the kiss and smiles widely at Yifan, a giddy feeling in his chest. 

Yifan leaves a peck on his smiley lips and scoffs a laugh himself. "What?" 

"Nothing, it's just...exciting. I-I feel like a teenager again." Junmyeon continued giggling. 

"You're still young, Jun." Yifan laughs at his boyfriend's silliness. 

"Yes, I know, but I'm no longer a teenager and I'm rather mature for my age because I have a child." Junmyeon replies, grabbing at Yifan's hands and holding them tightly. "And you're still young too, FanFan. You say that as if you're not." 

Yifan nods, squeezing Junmyeon's hands lightly. "But these are like...the young adult years where you can still experiment and whatever. I don't have the time or the money for anything except taking care of Sehun." 

Junmyeon sighs. "But I have the responsibility of taking care of my son before experimenting or whatever. Plus what would I be experimenting with? I'm already dating you." 

"I don't know..." Yifan takes a moment to think, "um, alcohol tolerance?" 

Junmyeon scrunches up his face and shakes his head. "The last thing I wanna know is my alcohol tolerance. My son should never have to see me coming home drunk or coming home with a hangover."

"Do you even drink?" Yifan asks, looking at his boyfriend while his thumb caresses the back of Junmyeon's hand. 

"Um, rarely. When I do drink, it's only like a glass of wine." Junmyeon shrugs while frowning. 

Yifan hums in acknowledgement. "I used to, back when I was in uni, but not anymore. I don't think I've had a drink since I was...twenty?"

"Wow, congrats on the sobriety, frat boy." Junmyeon teases him and Yifan smiles at him.

Yifan smirks and squints his eyes at Junmyeon. "How did you know I was a part of a frat house?" 

"I didn’t, I just got the partier, obnoxious, frat boy vibes from you." Junmyeon continues to mess with him, scrunching his nose adorably. 

"Oh, baby, you flatter me." Yifan says sarcastically, rolling his eyes with a fond smile before pressing a kiss to Junmyeon's hand. 

There's a small silence as Junmyeon and Yifan make intimate eye contact. Their eyes hold a compassionate love and calmness in them, windows to the depths of their souls and hearts. Junmyeon can see Yifan, can truly see him, see how beautiful he is despite the flaws, see how the brown swirls tell him everything he already knows, but also contain the mystery of parts he has yet to discover in him. 

Yifan stares deeply, the hold of their locked eyes is intense but loving and accepting, warm and kind,  _ safe _ . He could stare forever, possibly even figure out all of Junmyeon just by looking into his eyes. Junmyeon is an open book and Yifan will read and read as long as it takes to get to know the real Junmyeon. 

"You know we will change over the years, right?" Yifan says first, breaking the silence, but holding his eyes hostage in his gaze.

Junmyeon wants to shy away, look down at his lap as he speaks, but he can't. He can't move his eyes from Yifan's dark ones. "You say that like we're gonna last that long. Do you think we can last that long?" 

"Baby, you're the only one I've ever seen myself with in the future." Yifan admits, his eyes flashing the vulnerability he's feeling in the moment. "Even when I was going to marry Sehun's mother, I felt like I had to do it because of obligation, not because I saw that we could actually be together in the future. But with you, it's different.  _ You’re _ different." 

Junmyeon stops breathing for a moment. "I-I..." He stutters. 

Yifan moves his hands from Junmyeon's hand and uses them to hold Junmyeon's face. "Breathe, Jun." 

Junmyeon follows his instructions and breathes in and breathes out. He closes his eyes and takes a couple more deep breaths to see if it helps his racing heart. "Uh, well, no one has never ever said that to me before. And I...I feel exactly the same. I can see us for the long term too." 

"Then you know we will change and that we'll have to adjust to those changes, right, Jun?" Yifan asks, using his thumbs to caress Junmyeon's supple cheeks. 

Junmyeon nods and uses one of his hands to press over Yifan's. He nuzzles into the calloused palm. "Yes, babe, I do know that. But I'm ready for it, I will gladly grow and change and adapt with you." 

Yifan seals Junmyeon's words with a kiss. The pressure is perfect against Junmyeon's willing mouth and he immediately submits to whatever Yifan wants. Their mouths meld together and fit like pieces of a puzzle. 

Junmyeon presses into him, as close as humanly possible to Yifan. One of Yifan's hands pull him in closer by the waist and Junmyeon is all too willing. He smiles into the kiss, but doesn't break it this time, bringing his arms up to wrap around Yifan's broad shoulders. 

Yifan is the one to pull back and break the kiss. "Do you wanna go all the way? Or are you not ready?" He asks and Junmyeon can't help but glance down at Yifan's pants to see a noticeable bulge in his pants. 

He looks back into Yifan's eyes as lust pools into them. "We-we can go all the way." Junmyeon can feel the way his member twitches excitedly at the mere mention of having sex with Yifan. 

"Baby, we really don't have to, if you don't want to. I don't want you to feel pressured in any way." Yifan says with concern. 

"No, I swear, you're not pressuring me. I really want to have sex with you, Yifan." Junmyeon replies honestly, one of his hands caressing the nape of his neck comfortingly. "I've only ever had sex with one person, and it was a girl, so you might have to take it slower than usual for me, but I'm totally willing. I fully consent." 

Yifan laughs a bit. "Good, as long as you're comfortable with everything, then it should go by smoothly. If you don't like anything or get uncomfortable or want to stop everything, you have to tell me and I'll stop, okay, baby?" 

"I promise." Junmyeon smiles and pecks Yifan's lips as a way of saying he won't break the promise. 

They start kissing again, this time with naughty intentions behind them. First, it's continuous pecks that eventually become longer lip locks. These kisses evolve into open mouthed kisses, tongues pushing into each other's mouths and mapping out their partner's mouth dutifully. Tongues swipe over teeth, lips, the roof of their mouths, the other's tongue. It's sloppy, but Junmyeon and Yifan love it nonetheless. 

Yifan snakes a hand on the back of his neck, the hand that had previously been holding his face, while the hand on his waist begins to travel underneath Junmyeon's shirt and feel around. 

Junmyeon's cheeks heat up. His body isn't in the best shape it could be in, but exercising isn't something Junmyeon does very often even though he could fit it into his routine schedule. There's some pudge on his stomach, it's soft, squishy, and kind of embarrassing to Junmyeon, he won't lie. 

It's almost like Yifan read his thoughts because the next thing he knows, Yifan is complimenting him, "You're so soft, baby," he prods at Junmyeon's stomach, grabs at it a bit, and even caresses it gently, "I love having you this way." 

"Stop," Junmyeon giggles as Yifan continually touches his stomach area. "You're making me feel shy." He pushes lightly at Yifan's hands. 

"There's nothing to be shy about, Jun. I haven't even seen your body and I already know that I'm going to love every inch of you." Yifan shuts him up with another kiss and starts to remove Junmyeon's shirt. With reassurance, Junmyeon let's him. Yifan pulls away and looks over Junmyeon's chest and stomach. He smiles widely and looks up into his eyes, "Absolutely gorgeous." 

Junmyeon kisses him after the compliment, mainly to hide his flaming red cheeks but to also hide that his comment has an effect on him. He brings his hands up to the side of Yifan's face and continues to hold him even as Yifan begins trailing kisses down to his chin, across his jaw, and then down his neck. 

Junmyeon's eyes are wide open as he stares at the ceiling, moans slipping from his lips as he feels what Yifan is doing to him. Yifan even begins sucking and biting a hickey on his neck and Junmyeon shivers from the thought of Yifan being possessive over him. A particularly loud moan escapes Junmyeon's mouth and he tilts his head to the side to give Yifan more access. He would appreciate a few more love bites from his boyfriend, despite whether or not they'll be visible. 

Yifan's hand trails to Junmyeon's excited crotch and he has the audacity to tease him by squeezing him over the fabric of his skinny jeans. Junmyeon jolts at the surprise and he whines as he feels Yifan's lips smirking against where he's working at his neck. 

"FanFan, no teasing!" Junmyeon demands as Yifan does it once again. 

Yifan grunts but obeys. "Fine." He huffs and opens up Junmyeon's pants skillfully with one hand. Junmyeon hisses as Yifan yanks down his briefs with his jeans. 

His boyfriend takes the liberty of pulling away from his neck and staring straight at his dick for a solid several seconds. Junmyeon is as red as a fire truck once Yifan finally glances into his eyes, then has the freaking audacity to say. "I wanna suck your dick." 

"You're so crass." Junmyeon looks away, but manages to catch Yifan's shrug before he moves down Junmyeon's body. 

Junmyeon gasps in shock once he feels the warm heat around his dick, caught off guard at the way Yifan just...well, went for it. He didn't take in only the head either, he took in his entire length. Junmyeon's mouth is stuck open as he makes eye contact with Yifan and watches as he starts to bob his head dutifully. He cries out when he feels Yifan suck and then swallow around him, the pleasure so intense that it pathetically brings him to the edge.

He shakes his head as his hands grip Yifan's hair. "No, no, I-I won't - oh my god - I won't last if you keep going. I'm-I'm so close, Yifan, so close. I can't-"

At Junmyeon's warning, Yifan pulls off, but not without one last suck. Junmyeon is thankful because it would've been totally embarrassing if he came so early. He takes in deep breaths as his orgasm fades away, but his eyes pop open when he feels Yifan's weight lift off of him. He's sent into momentary panic and looks at his boyfriend. 

"It's okay, baby, I'm not going anywhere. Let's move to the bedroom." Yifan nods his head towards his bedroom. 

"You have extra sheets, right?" Junmyeon finds himself asking. "Because I don't want Sehunnie to sleep on defiled bedding." 

Yifan chuckles at that. "Yes, I do have extra sheets." He leads Junmyeon into the other room. "Pull off your pants when we get to the bed." 

"Only if you strip when we get there." Junmyeon tugs up his underwear while discarding his jeans on the way in. Walking naked is not something he's very comfortable with, Yifan can take them off again once they're in bed. 

Junmyeon crawls on to the bed and sits down in the middle. Yifan fulfills his end of the deal and strips off his clothes, taking off his shirt then his pants and then his boxers and socks. Junmyeon can't help the way his eyes travel down Yifan's body and stop at his cock.

It's hard, red, and  _ big _ . Junmyeon swallows nervously, he's not sure if it'll fit all the way. Yifan is a pretty tall individual and it's no surprise that he's big, but at the same time, he may be expected him to be the slightest bit smaller than being as big as he actually is.

Yifan smirks. "Like what you see?" 

Junmyeon scoffs and feels his cheeks heating up. "Maybe." He pouts at his boyfriend's cockiness. 

Yifan approaches closer and Junmyeon watches the way it bobs when he walks. His cheeks emit an intense heat. "You're cute." 

Yifan is still standing, so his erection just so happens to be right in front of Junmyeon’s face. Junmyeon has never wanted to suck anyone off so back before.    
  


“Can I...uh, suck you off?” Junmyeon asks timidly. 

“If you really want to…” Yifan shrugs and gestures to his dick. 

Junmyeon bites his lip and stares straight at it, feels himself salivating over the hot length that’s standing proudly before him. He grips it with his hands and brings it to his mouth, latching onto it and suckling like a new born baby, moaning at the taste of pure  _ Yifan _ . The taste is salty but so different than anything he’s ever tasted before. It’s driving Junmyeon insane, his senses overwhelmed by the taste, the smell, the sound, the hardness that’s all Yifan. 

Junmyeon has never sucked a dick before, so he’s trying his very best to recall and imitate what Yifan did to him. He pushes down but can only go so far, his gag reflex being triggered rather easily, and he moves his head back and forth in a repeated motion. He knows he’s not the best, but Yifan is making really low, really sexy sounds that only help to turn Junmyeon on more.

Junmyeon pulls back to toy with the head, licks at it, sucks at it, tonguing the slit playfully, and that seems to get the best response out of Yifan, who’s moaning loudly above him. He’s seen enough pornos to know some things he can do.

Yifan pushes a hand through Junmyeon’s hair a couple times and then tugs him off of his cock. Junmyeon pants as he looks up at Yifan, his lips glossy with saliva and mouth hanging open gently, and he cannot resist him. He leans down and kisses him roughly, licking into his mouth to taste himself on Junmyeon’s tongue.

Fumbling while kissing Junmyeon, Yifan blindly searches for the lube in his bedside drawer. He's eventually able to grab it and pull it out, tossing it somewhere on the bed that they'll figure out next. Junmyeon can hear as he reaches inside the drawer once more and withdraws something else. 

The sound of a box is what makes Junmyeon pull away and look up, watching as Yifan turns the box of condoms over. Nothing comes out and it makes Junmyeon curious as to how long it's been empty and how long he's had that. Yifan looks at him and Junmyeon raises a questioning eyebrow. 

He launches into an explanation. "Before we started dating, I had a couple one night stands on the weekends Sehun went with his mother." 

"Yifan, that's a-" Junmyeon glances at the box, "twelve pack." 

A sheepish grin and shrug is what he gets in return. "I said a couple one night stands, not a couple rounds." 

"Oh, okay." Junmyeon bites his lip while thinking about this man’s libido. "How long since you've been tested?" 

"Well, I got tested before we started dating because I thought that... _ this _ would be happening more often." Yifan gestures between the two of them. "I'm clean." 

"You've thought about having sex with me?" Junmyeon asks, his hand moving to grip on the one Yifan used to gesture. 

Yifan nods and moves his hand so he can intertwine their fingers. "Yeah, I mean, we're two consenting adults. I thought at some point we'd be doing it and I just wanted to be sure for when we did have sex and...yeah." He trails off awkwardly, unsure of how Junmyeon is going to react. 

A shy smile tugs at Junmyeon's lips. "That's very thoughtful of you, babe, uh, thank you." Junmyeon sits up and presses a chaste kiss to Yifan's lips. "I've, um, been tested once, a while ago. As I told you, I've only ever had sex with one person, one time, ended up with a baby. I haven't been, uh, intimate with anyone since then. Went on a few dates here and there, but nothing that ever escalated into going further." 

Yifan gives him another peck on the lips. "We'll do things at your pace, okay, baby?" 

"You're too sweet, FanFan." Junmyeon leans in and kisses him some more. 

Yifan pins him down onto the mattress, his hands skimming down Junmyeon's chest. One hand catches on a nipple while the other pushes down Junmyeon's underwear, Junmyeon helping him to take them off completely. 

His rough fingers pinch and flick at the erect nub as Junmyeon's breath gets stuck in his throat. Lips trail down his neck as his nipple is twisted, Junmyeon gasping out moans and arching into Yifan's body. 

"You sound so pretty, Jun." Yifan whispers, the hot breath cascading over his neck and creating a wave of shivers down Junmyeon's body. "I wanna hear you, don't hold back on me." 

Junmyeon brings his hands up and plays with the hairs at the back of his head. He tugs on it as Yifan sucks a hickey right over his pulse. It's one of the most sensitive spots on him and it drags moans, groans, and high whines from him. Sounds he didn't even know he could make were pulled from him while Yifan figured out the spots that brought Junmyeon pleasure. 

His mouth latches onto Junmyeon's nipple and Junmyeon's eyes close as his mouth falls open, a keen slipping past his lips. He can hear the click of the lube cap opening and the squirt of the thick liquid. Junmyeon can already feel the phantom of coldness around his hole, remembers the feeling from the times he has fingered himself secretly in his room late at night when he felt particularly lonely. 

Anticipating the cold fingers, he can sense when Yifan's lubed digits get near the tight ring of muscles, subconsciously tensing up as his fingers draw closer and closer. Warm lips murmur to him again, "Relax, baby, I'm gonna take care of you, I promise." 

Junmyeon takes a deep breath and forces his limbs to slacken. "I trust you..." He tells Yifan, a gasp getting caught in his throat as he feels Yifan's finger penetrate him for the first time. 

The thick finger is foreign to his body and he tries to adjust to the weird feeling that it brings him quickly, but it's not until Yifan's entering a second finger that it starts bringing a more pleasurable feeling. It's nothing mind blowing yet, only small moans and grunts being pulled from him as Yifan meticulously stretches and scissors him in preparation for his thick cock. 

Then he finds it, the spot that brings Junmyeon the most pleasure. Yifan brushes over it accidently while rubbing against his walls and stretching him, but Junmyeon's reaction - a loud, erotic, porn star esque  _ preen _ \- told him all he needed to know. 

By then, Yifan had already switched nipples, his mouth suckling and tugging at the nub until it grew a bright red to match the other one. He slips a third digit inside of Junmyeon and swiftly rubs over Junmyeon's prostate, Junmyeon's back arching at the sheer pleasure and hips bucking down to get him to do it again. 

"Fan, uhh," Junmyeon pants out, his hands finding purchase in Yifan's hair. "Yifan, please." He begs as he fucks back onto Yifan's thick fingers. 

Yifan plunges his fingers deep inside of Junmyeon, wiggles them against the tight clench of Junmyeon's walls, and presses down on his prostate once he locates it once more. His lips leave a trail of hickeys on Junmyeon's chest, dark love bites that Junmyeon knows are filled with possessiveness.

Meanwhile, Junmyeon's hips are moving as if he's riding Yifan's fingers, erratically moving so that he can feel the spike of pleasure. His lower region is composed of electric nerve endings and the tingles shoot through him sharply, traveling throughout his whole body and bring him wave after wave of pleasure.

It's not too long before Yifan gets impatient and lubes himself up while removing his fingers carefully. Junmyeon whines at the loss of stimulation, Yifan taking longer than Junmyeon saw necessary seeing as the strong tingles fade to a light buzz. 

"Please, Yifan, I want you so,  _ so _ bad." Junmyeon let's go of Yifan's hair as he sits back on his heels to prepare himself. His fingers grip on to the sheets and he waits for Yifan to respond with either words or actions. 

Yifan leans forward again and dips his head down to kiss Junmyeon languidly, tongues tangling and teeth clacking haphazardly. Junmyeon moans lightly and then squeaks in surprise as he feels the head of Yifan's dick apply pressure to the snug rim of his hole. In an excited manner, Junmyeon's hole spasms around whatever it can reach and his cock furiously spits pre-cum from it's engorged tip. 

He pushes forward and slowly inserts himself inside of Junmyeon, the stretch wider than Junmyeon thought. There's a mix of pleasure and pain, although Junmyeon does know that Yifan's earlier prep helped with the pain that could've been way worse. Junmyeon's face contorts as he's split apart by Yifan's cock, a groan tumbling from his lips as he feels the burn. 

Seated inside of him fully, Yifan holds still to allow Junmyeon a moment to breathe and adjust to his length. Junmyeon can't help but spread his legs wider to accommodate his boyfriend, his breath stuttering in his lungs. 

"I-I'm so full, FanFan,  _ so full _ ." He whines and then breathes out a "please move" a couple seconds after. 

Yifan obeys and starts with shallow thrusts, Junmyeon panting as he feels the smooth glide of Yifan's fat cock pushing into him. Soon enough, he's pulling out completely and thrusting hard inside of Junmyeon in search of his prostate. He's got a general idea of where it is so he spends time methodically picking an angle that will hit it each time he rails into him. 

A high keen tears itself from Junmyeon's throat when Yifan finally finds the right angle, hitting his prostate dead on. Junmyeon bucks his hips down in time with Yifan's thrust forward and his boyfriend's cock collides with his prostate once more. "Oh my god, Yifan, please!" Junmyeon finds himself crying out. 

Yifan is merciless from there on out, setting a steady and quickly paced rhythm. Smacking resounds in the room as their hips connect with each hard thrust. "You feel so good, Jun, so fucking  _ tight _ around me." Yifan grunts as his hands depress into the mattress from holding his weight over Junmyeon, careful not to crush him. 

Junmyeon is pretty sure he could cum like this if Yifan continues, his cock a constant pressure on his prostate and milking it for all he has to give. His whines reach a higher pitch as Yifan strikes his prostate on a particularly hard thrust, his eyes flying open, and something inside him shifts, tugs, over and over again, Junmyeon takes it as a sign of getting closer to the edge. "Yes,  _ yes _ , Yifan,  _ right there _ ,  _ please _ !" 

Capturing a kiss from Junmyeon's lips, Yifan wraps his hand around Junmyeon's dick and tugs him to completion, Junmyeon's mouth open in a wide, silent scream as he cums all over Yifan's hand. His back arches as he orgasms, his toes curling as he cuts off his own air, the pleasurable tingles soaring through him. Junmyeon's eyes roll back as he feels Yifan continually thrusting and railing and pounding him through the best orgasm he's ever felt in his life. 

Two, three, four more fucks into Junmyeon and Yifan is spilling inside of him, makes a mess of his walls, gets through his orgasm and pulls out so he can take a look inside. He gets a strong urge to lick at it, but he knows Junmyeon would get oversensitive, so he refrains. He settles for telling him instead. "Baby, you look so fucking wrecked, so sloppy." 

At the words, Junmyeon moans weakly, flinching slightly as he feels the cum leaking out of his hole. He reaches out for Yifan and Yifan obliges, takes Junmyeon into his warm arms and pulls him close so that they can cuddle. 

"We-we need to get cleaned up," Junmyeon mumbles sleepily, "I think I have less than an hour before Kyungsoo's session is over. He will not be happy with me if I'm late picking him up." 

"How much time do you have left?" Yifan asks, his eyes closed and head nuzzled against Junmyeon's.

Junmyeon glances at the clock. "Forty five minutes." 

"How long does it take to get to the place from here?" Yifan murmurs in question and Junmyeon can hear that he's equally as tired as him.

"I don't know, ten, fifteen minutes? It took a bit longer when I came because I stopped for food." Junmyeon replies, pressing a kiss to Yifan's cheek. "I also wanted to get Kyungsoo some food, he only had a snack for lunch and I know he'll be hungry." 

Yifan hums and starts getting up. "Could I tag along?" 

"'Course." Junmyeon agrees, "You can sleepover if you'd like too." 

Yifan takes Junmyeon's offer. "Okay, then." He turns over, kissing Junmyeon slowly yet passionately. 

Junmyeon tries to stand up, but it proves to be a difficult task. Junmyeon's legs are jelly, his ass is sore, cum is dripping out of his hole, he feels utterly wrecked and whines about it as he falls back onto the bed. "Owie..." He rubs at his ass and then looks over at Yifan. "You did this to me, so you get to carry me." Junmyeon raises his arms like a petulant child. 

Sighing, Yifan does as he's told, picking up Junmyeon and walking to the bathroom with him princess style. "Brat." He makes sure to mumble loud enough for Junmyeon to hear. 

Junmyeon ignores him and snuggles into his neck as Yifan starts a shower so they can get ready to leave. 

\- WHEREVER SEHUN IS - 

Sehun doesn't like this place, he doesn't like it one bit, and you can't blame him because he's only a child. His mother isn't necessarily the most...attentive. If anything, the word to describe her would be neglectful. 

Sehun stares out of the car miserably as his mother parks the car, coming around the side to unbuckle Sehun and take him inside. 

Despite Sehun's feelings, he's been taught to be respectful to his mother or any adult, so he follows instructions and tries not to be a nuisance to anyone in any way. 

"Set your bag down, Sehun, and stay here. I need my alone time." Sehun can only nod as she leaves him at the door of the guest bedroom. He can feel the ghost of unfamiliarity hovering overhead while he enters because the place is too white and undecorated, the bed made and the room neat for a  _ guest _ . Sehun would like to think he's more than a guest to his mother, but he subconsciously knows that she's estranged from him, that there's a huge disconnect where there should be familial love and kindness. 

Sehun takes the initiative and closes the door, knowing that his mother's 'alone time' was usually code for adult time with her current boyfriend or her spending time on the couch, drinking and watching adult movies. He caught them once and has seen movie scenes unfit for a child, so he’d rather err on the side of caution. 

His stomach rumbles and Sehun frowns. His mother might get mad at him for interrupting her alone time, but Sehun is hungry and he knows that they have food. Why doesn't he try to make something for himself? 

So he opens the door again and walks down the stairs to head to the kitchen. On his way there, he sees his mother on the couch, watching some movie he doesn't know.

She just so happens to see him and her eyebrows furrow. "Sehun, I thought I told you to stay in your room?" She gets up and prepares to take him back up there. 

Sehun shies away from her. "Mama, I'm hungry." His words are proven by a loud, grumbling rumble coming from his belly. 

"Fine. Come with me." She stalks off to the kitchen and Sehun follows obediently, finds himself a seat at the big table while she looks through the fridge for something to eat. He’s surprised she actually got up, but points for effort?

He watches her pull out a take out container and set it in front of him, giving him a fork along with it. "Eat up, Sehun." Is all she says as she exits back to the living room to continue watching her movie. 

Sehun picks up the fork and inspects the food, sniffs at it, pokes it with the fork before deeming it edible and taking a bite. It's some kind of cold noodle dish - Sehun assumes seeing as his mother didn't even try reheating it - and it's not half bad. 

But then something's off, there's a sudden tingling in his throat and Sehun's face begins to contort as he swallows past it thickly. It's only the third bite he had and yet Sehun's can feel his throat throbbing and seizing up. His throat is closing and his lungs feel like they've started to shrivel in on themselves. 

Sehun gets out of the chair, stumbles around as he wheezes out breath after breath after breath. "Mama!" He tries to call, but his voice is weak and dying out with the lack of oxygen going through his system. He attempts to go to the opening where the living room meets the kitchen, but he doesn't make it, falling to the ground with a thud. 

The only thing Sehun can think about as he slips in and out of consciousness is what caused this, and that one thing comes to mind- 

There was garlic in the noodles. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ummm sorry, I haven’t finished editing the final chapter and I had time to do it, but I didn’t use it like I thought I would 😓 bad time management on my part, but I’m gonna try and finish editing it today and get it out to you later


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ll let you find out

Yifan and Junmyeon are cuddled close on the couch as they both watch over Kyungsoo, who's playing with his toys while watching Pororo on the TV.

Yifan feels a vibration in his pants and picks up his phone without looking at the caller. Not very many people call him or have his number so it can only be one out of a couple choices. 

"Hello?" He asks, Junmyeon looking at him when he hears Yifan is on the phone. 

"Is this the father of Oh Sehun?" Yifan furrows his eyebrows in confusion when it's an unfamiliar voice talking about his son. Sehun's last name also irks him, remembering how his parents forced his child to take the last name of his mother because they lived in Korea. 

"Yes, that's me. Um, who is this?" Yifan glances at Junmyeon, who gives him an expression of confusion. 

There's a heavy sign. "I'm going to need you to come down to the emergency room, it seems as though your son has had a severe allergic reaction to something he ate." 

Yifan's heart drops to the very pit of his stomach, his eyes stare into nothingness, his hands begin to shake, his breathing all but stops while Yifan tries to process what the lady said. He doesn't even hear Junmyeon calling his name. 

"FanFan, babe? Yifan? What's going on? Yifan?" Junmyeon places a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder, watches the way his face pales, and tries to shake him out of his daze. 

Yifan blinks and swallows past the new lump in his throat. "I-I'm on my way." He ends the call and stands up. "Can I borrow your car?" 

Junmyeon stands with him and grabs his unoccupied hand, squeezes it firmly. "Why? What's going on?" 

"Sehun, he's at the hospital. Junmyeon, I need your car." Yifan tells him, his voice a low, rushed, panicked whisper. 

"Let me get the keys." Junmyeon runs out of the room then comes back with the car keys. He hands it over to Yifan and holds his hand out for Kyungsoo, "Come here, moos, we gotta go."

Once he scoops up Kyungsoo, he follows Yifan out the front door and runs over to the back seat with the car seat for Kyungsoo. He straps him in as quickly as possible and then hops into the passenger seat. 

Yifan is quick to back out of the driveway and drive them to the ER. He pushes the speed limit but drives as carefully as possible while doing so because of Kyungsoo and Junmyeon. 

His mind and heart are racing as he wonders why the fuck this had to happen right now. He forgot to ask the nurse or whoever called him if Sehun was okay, and now he's worried because he's unsure how Sehun's mother dealt with it, if she dealt with it correctly or if she ended up making it worse or whatever else could've happened in the time that he wasn't there. 

"When we get there, just pull up, get out, and I'll park the car." Junmyeon tells him as they get closer to the parking lot entrance. 

Yifan pulls in, stops the car close to the sliding doors, and hops out, running inside and immediately heading to the front desk while Junmyeon parks the car and gets Kyungsoo out of the car seat. 

Yifan is hit with the smell of the hospital, sterilizer, death, stillness; the only rightful names that label the scent. He's always hated it, always will hate it. But he can't focus on that now, so he ignores it and pushes through the main lobby.

He stops in front of the receptionist, who looks up at him once he makes it there. "Hello, who are you looking for?" 

"Oh Sehun, I'm his father." Yifan says and the receptionist starts rapidly typing on the computer. 

"Room 115, that's gonna be on the second floor." She reads off from the computer. 

Yifan's "thank you" probably doesn't reach the woman's ears as he takes off, going straight for the stairs instead of the elevator. He takes them two at a time and bursts through the door, sprinting down the hallway and glancing at the numbers. 

He skids to a stop when 115 comes into view. He opens the door and his eyes don't stop, even when he sees Sehun's mother sitting by the bed until his eyes finally land on his poor, poor Sehunnie. 

"Sehun..." He mumbles as he rushes to his side. 

Sehun's eyes are closed and he looks exactly like he does when he sleeps, the only give away that this time was different are the red splotches. They're signs of an allergic reaction and just the sight of them is enough to make Yifan seethe with rage. 

"What the fuck happened, Soojin?" Yifan asks harshly through clenched teeth, turning his head to glare menacingly. 

Soojin raises her head and looks at Sehun. "I forgot about his allergy..." She excuses weakly, her face red and puffy from the crying. 

"You forgot?" Yifan repeats and now his face is red with anger. "How the fuck do you forget that our - that _my_ son has a fucking fatal allergy?" 

"I don't know, Yifan-" 

"Don't fucking bullshit me!" He yells at her. "You were fucking careless, downright neglectful. I can't believe you, Soojin, I thought that despite everything going on, you wouldn't punish Sehun like this, but you fucking did." 

Soojin sighs roughly and a fresh wave of tears fill her eyes. "I know, Yifan, okay? I know! I-I heard a thud and then I came in and found him on the ground. He was barely breathing, even stopped breathing for a little bit. I panicked and called the ambulance." 

"You don't get to cry like this, Soojin, you don't get to cry because of your carelessness, you are not the victim here. Sehun-" Yifan's voice breaks as he feels tears rising to his eyes, "Sehun is the victim." Yifan is so done, there's so much pent up emotion, so much anger, so much sadness, so much depression. Just seeing his son lying on the hospital bed, knowing that he almost lost his life because of his mother's recklessness, is enough to break him. "What happened to the extra epi-pens I gave you in case of emergencies like this?"

Soojin hesitates, takes a shaky breath before answering. "I...I-I don't know. I think," She forces out a breath that's comparative to a sob, "I think Kyongjun threw them away when I moved in with him." 

There it is again, the rising, building anger at the words she has the audacity to utter. "You let him throw those away? Are you fucking kidding me, Soojin?" He stomps over to where she's sitting, towering over her, and has to stop himself from doing something he may regret. "Those fucking epi-pens should've always been within reach, goddamn it! My son almost lost his life because you let your boyfriend throw away the motherfucking epi-pens!" 

"Yifan?" It's a new voice, one that comes from behind him, it definitely doesn't belong to Soojin because he's looking right at her. 

Yifan turns at the familiar call as he pants with the exertion of being pissed off, his eyes intense, holding a furious fire that burns with a blue flame. He sees Junmyeon standing there with Kyungsoo in his arms, a hand pressed against his ear and pushing his head to rest on his shoulder. His eyes shine with sadness and slight fear, he must've heard Yifan yelling. 

But the flame isn't ready to burn out, Yifan isn't done with Soojin, done with expressing what's been bottled up for so long. "Just go, Junmyeon." His eyes hold fury, but his voice sounds defeated. 

"No," Junmyeon replies. "Yifan, you need someone. I'm here for you, please don't push me out. I may be nosy and persistent, but I know that if you push me away now, you're going to keep pushing me away." Junmyeon takes a brave couple of steps past the threshold and into the room. "Please, Yifan, don't do that to yourself." 

Tears extinguish the fire in his eyes, Junmyeon's words get to him and break him. "I need-" His voice cracks, breaks with the lump in his throat pushing and clogging up his airway, the sadness winning over the anger. "I need Sehun, I need my son, and she-" He points his finger at her and exhales shakily, "she constantly tries to take him away from me. Over and over and _over_ , again and again and _again_." He spits the words out harshly as his body starts trembling. "Why does she get to do that?" The tears fall, trace his cheek and drip off his chin, some even traveling down the expanse of his neck. His face contorts, scrunches up as Yifan begins to sob, "Why does she torture me?" 

Junmyeon feels tears of his own surface but he keeps them down. "Oh, my love, I'm so sorry." Junmyeon apologizes and moves closer to Yifan, staring up at him. 

Yifan's arm falls and he looks down, starts to take staggering steps towards the bed Sehun rests on, and then sits down as gingerly as possible. He moves his gaze to Sehun. "I just want my boy." 

Silence consumes the air they once talked in as Yifan watches Sehun. The slow yet steady beeping of the monitor tells him he's alive, but his body, his body looks so-so _lifeless_ , like the red blotches are sucking away the mere force that keeps Sehun's heart beating, that keeps Sehun's mind alive. 

There's a physical ache in Yifan's chest, waves of pain emit from it, shake his core at the thought of Sehun dying. But here he is, lying in front of him, breathing and continuing to live, and that only tells Yifan how strong his son is, because Sehun is, he is so, _so_ strong and tough for living through this. When his breath gave out, he simply could've given up, could've left this hard life he's been given, but he didn't, he decided to stay with Yifan and for that, Yifan will always devote himself selflessly, even more selflessly than he has been, to raise and take care of him. All that he can give and more.

"I'll stop." Soojin speaks up, shattering Yifan's thoughts. "I'll stop hurting you, Yifan, I'll stop hurting Sehun. Nothing I do can make up for the pain I put you through, but at least I can do this. I'll give up my share of the custody and I'll pay child support, I'll stop fighting you in the court. I'm not fit to be a mother, not now, maybe not ever. I'll leave you and Sehun alone and I'll wish you the best." 

She gets up and she walks over to Sehun. Placing a hand on his cheek, she caresses it tenderly while gazing down at Sehun, the one she didn't mean to hurt and yet somehow got caught in the crossfire along the way. Soojin bends down and kisses his forehead, whispering, "Goodbye, Sehun." Then she's leaving, walking away and exiting the hospital room.

Yifan can hear Junmyeon moving around behind him, hear him muttering to his son and his son muttering back to him, but isn't close enough to make out what they're talking about. Then Junmyeon is by his side, resting a reluctant, fearful hand on his shoulder, not wanting to set him off. 

"Thank you." Yifan says, placing his hand over Junmyeon's. He isn't looking at him, he's still staring at his son, but by the small gesture, Junmyeon knows he's talking to him. "Thank you for not leaving me." 

"I would never leave you." Junmyeon removes his hand and leans down to embrace Yifan from behind. The positioning is awkward and no doubt, most likely uncomfortable for Junmyeon, but that doesn't stop him from holding his boyfriend tight. "I love you too much to do that." He whispers quietly from where he's resting his head on Yifan's broad shoulder. 

Yifan turns his head, looks into Junmyeon's eyes as best as he possibly can, allows his lips to twitch upwards in a small smile. "I love you too, Jun." He receives a tight squeeze before Junmyeon let's him go and leaves. In lieu of watching him walk away, Yifan returns his gaze to Sehun peacefully sleeping, listening to Junmyeon's footsteps. 

Then Sehun begins to stir, his eyebrows furrowing and his head rocking a bit from side to side. Yifan scoots closer in anticipation and grabs onto Sehun's small, little hand. 

The boy's eyes flutter open a second later, but it takes them several to recognize who's in front of him and where he is. Water works its way into Sehun's eyes and soon enough he's crying and clutching on to Yifan's hand for dear life. "Baba..." He whimpers out, his voice worn out, tiny, and oh so fragile. 

Yifan moves up the bed and takes Sehun into his arms, grasps his little body as close to him as humanly possible and begins to cry with him. "It's okay, Sehunnie. Baba's here now." 

" _I-I was so sc-scared, Baba. I-I couldn't breathe_!" Sehun sobs into his chest, words flowing out in Chinese rather than Korean. 

" _I know, bubs, I know, but you're okay now. Baba won't let you get hurt again, I promise_ ." He whispers desperately to the child crying on his chest, cradling the back of his head and pressing a kiss to the top of it every now and then. " _Baba won't let anyone hurt you anymore. You hear me? I will protect you with my life, Sehunnie. Baba loves you too much to lose you_." He starts weeping softly into his son's hair, gripping him tightly to his chest, so tight that no one can take him from his arms. 

There's a knock on the door then and a doctor walks in, smiling. Yifan turns his head but not his body, unashamed to be crying with his son because he has his reason and it's definitely respectable (though that doesn't take away the tint of embarrassment on his cheeks). "Good to see that he's awake." 

Yifan bows his head, the best sign of respect he can give the doctor. "Hello, I'm Sehun's father." 

"Ah, yes, we were informed that you would be coming Mr. Wu." The doctor replies, ambling over to the clipboard at the end of Sehun's bed. "This little guy is quite the lucky one, I will say. Stopped breathing for a second there while they rushed him into the ambulance, but with some CPR and an epi to the thigh, we were able to get him going and keep him going on the way here." 

Hearing that come from the doctor, Yifan feels sick to his stomach. To think his child was actually dying for a bit there, even the slightest thought of that happening ever again scares Yifan more than he even thought or knew it would.

"I recommend keeping him here overnight because he did stop breathing and we want to make sure it won't happen again. We're about 99% sure, but you can never be too careful, am I right?" The doctor flips through the pages on the clipboard and then hangs it back on the end of the bed. "Ultimately, it's your choice, but I do strongly suggest we keep him here for monitoring just to be completely sure." 

Yifan nods along with what the doctor's saying. "Whatever you suggest, we'll do it. I want to make sure he's alright." 

The doctor heads for the door to exit. "Okay then. I'll arrange for the stay. I'll send in a nurse to check on him again in a little while." With that, the doctor is gone. 

Yifan looks down at his child, Sehun's face buried in his chest. " _Sehunnie, my bubs, you're okay now, Baba is here. I'm not going anywhere_ ." Sehun nods his head in his chest and his cries eventually settle down into sniffles. " _I love you, Sehun_."

Sehun mumbles into his shirt, but Yifan isn’t sure what he said so he pets a hand through his hair and kisses his forehead gently. " _What was that, Hunnie? I couldn't hear you_."

Sehun pulls away and sniffles, using Yifan's shirt to wipe away his snot. " _I love you too, Baba_." 

And regardless of the snot that's now on his shirt, Yifan wouldn't trade this moment for the world. Instead, he can only laugh and hold his son impossibly closer. 

Yifan's unsure of how long they're sitting there, but Sehun must get comfortable because eventually, he drifts off to sleep on Yifan. He's so tired from crying that he ends up snoring adorably into Yifan's chest. 

Laying him down on the mattress, Yifan makes sure he's in the most comfortable position and pulls the blanket over him. Then he gets up and walks over to the bathroom, wetting a couple paper towels and bringing them back over to the bed with him. Yifan sits carefully, so Sehun won't wake up, and uses the towel to gently wipe away the snot and tear tracks that dried on Sehun's face. 

Staring at his son's face reminds Yifan of what he has and what he's lucky to have. Sehun may have been unexpected and Sehun may have been born at a difficult time, but Yifan wouldn't trade him for the world, wouldn't give him up even if it did make his life easier. Yifan didn't want an easy life - doesn't want _any_ life that doesn't include Sehun in it. 

Junmyeon sits down in the chair that's next to Sehun's bed, holding a knocked out Kyungsoo in his arms. The child is draped over his shoulder, his eyes closed and his mouth open. 

"What are you thinking about?" Junmyeon says, his words loud in the quiet room though he speaks with a soft, low tone. 

"About Sehun." Yifan admits, folding the used towel and tossing it in the trash can near the bed. "I don't want any life if it doesn't have Sehun in it." 

Junmyeon smiles at his words and completely understands where he's coming from, even looks to his own son as he thinks about what he wants to say. "I get what you mean. Without my little star, I'd still be empty, boring old Junmyeon."

"I'd be some frat boy that graduated with a bachelors in engineering and an alcohol problem." Yifan adds, glancing at Junmyeon before shifting his eyes back to Sehun. "Without my Sehunnie, I might've been a college drop out." He scoffs a laugh. "I always hated university anyway, at least I can thank Sehun for saving me from there." 

Junmyeon chuckles. "Yeah, that's true." Junmyeon rests his head on top of Kyungsoo's head that's using his shoulder as a pillow. "Did you know that even before I learned about Kyungsoo, I could never imagine myself getting into university? It was always the plan for my parents, but for me...I don't know. I couldn't imagine myself doing it." 

"I guess our little surprises saved both of us then." Yifan says and reaches out a hand to Junmyeon. 

Junmyeon takes the hand, holding on gently. His eyes shine as he stares at Yifan, a gentle smile directed at his boyfriend. "I love you, Yifan." 

Yifan matches Junmyeon's sweet smile. "I love you too, Junmyeon." 

Junmyeon is quiet for a moment. "And I want you to let me pay the hospital bill for you." 

Yifan shakes his head. "That's so...you." He rolls his eyes and smirks. "No, I'm not going to let you pay it." 

"Oh, come on, FanFan, come on, let me do it, I can do it." Junmyeon pouts and pleads, tugging on his hand teasingly and squeezing his hand gently. 

"No, Junmyeon, you're not doing it." Yifan replies firmly, almost as if he was talking to Sehun. 

"Babe, let me do this for you, please...please, I promise, just this one time" - even Junmyeon himself knows he's lying - "and then never again. Just this one time, please I'll be good from now on." 

Yifan continues to deny and deny Junmyeon while Junmyeon continues to offer and offer, the two bickering back and forth until Kyungsoo shifts and whines in annoyance at both of them. 

\- EPILOGUE - 

After the hospital incident, Soojin kept to her word and gave up her share of the custody as well as paying the child support. There is no longer any visitation between Sehun and his mother, but if one day Sehun wants to meet with her again, then they have it set up so that can be arranged. 

She must've felt incredibly sorry because she paid the bill for Yifan before leaving. Yifan, of course, was largely confused by this, but grateful in the end because hospital bills can get pretty expensive. 

Sehun was okay and good as new, being the happy, sassy child he was and still talking back to Yifan when he reprimanded him. Yifan was immensely glad to have his son back. 

Kyungsoo's therapy is going well and he was able to get over it enough for his first days of school to come. There are still tears and there's still anxiety that Kyungsoo has to deal with, unfortunately, but they're working at it, day by day. His sessions have been cut back down to one hour as Jongdae suggested now that his separation anxiety has calmed down. 

Yifan and Junmyeon's relationship has grown stronger and stronger and by the end of their first year together, Yifan and Sehun are moved in with Kyungsoo and Sehun. Kyungsoo was completely okay with the change, in fact, he was happy to have a roommate and someone to play with. After the move, Yifan allowed Junmyeon to help out more with certain bills until he could find a better, more well-paying job. 

Everything was happening so quickly and the next thing any of them know, Junmyeon and Yifan are exchanging rings while Sehun and Kyungsoo draw up a fake marriage license (gay marriage isn't legal so they make use of what they've got). It had a crayon title - blue which Sehun insisted be the color since it was Junmyeon's favorite color - and two x's with lines - this time it was red which was Yifan's favorite of course - just like one would find on an official document, which this definitely was. 

They signed it and had it framed, bad grammar, bad spelling and all. Junmyeon absolutely adored it, he adored his new, complete family. Sehun and Kyungsoo already act as brothers, it would be a lie for Junmyeon to say that he didn't treat Sehun as his own, spoil him as much as he does his own son. Yifan scolds him for it too, but it has never stopped Junmyeon from getting Sehun what he wanted and needed. He has always managed to escape Yifan's scoldings with a pouty lip and big eyes anyway. 

Years fly by faster than anticipated and suddenly, Sehun and Kyungsoo are no longer kids, entering that awkward stage between finishing childhood and growing into their teenage years. Sehun’s getting taller by the minute, much to Kyungsoo’s contempt, but Yifan and Junmyeon are happy because they’re healthy, growing boys. 

And so here they are, after years of being together and years of helping each other raise their two amazing sons, watching as Sehun and Kyungsoo rush to get ready for their dates to arrive for their first prom. 

Junmyeon is excited for them, standing by the side, waiting for their dates to arrive so that he can snap photos of them for the photo album he's been making. Yifan is standing with his arms crossed as he watches from beside his husband. 

Minseok and Baekhyun are there as well, Minseok helping Chanyeol with his tie. 

Yifan doesn't like the way Chanyeol is eyeing Sehun. Junmyeon tells him he's imagining it, but he seriously does not like the glint in Chanyeol's brown eyes, a glint that says he has plans for Sehun. 

Chanyeol, being a year older than Sehun, had asked him to prom. Sehun, as expected by everyone around them, had said yes. Everyone with eyes could tell those two would end up together, hell, anyone with ears could tell just by their spoken interactions. They were going to be together eventually, everyone knew it, even Yifan himself, however, that doesn't mean he has to like his intentions with his son. 

Chanyeol keeps glancing up at Sehun, Sehun oblivious to the looks as he struggles with buttoning up the cuff of his sleeve, which Junmyeon ultimately goes over to help him with. 

Kyungsoo is holding a box with a corsage in it for his date. Some senior girl had asked him to go, so he replied with a hesitant, shy yes. Sehun recounted all the details to him and Junmyeon the day it happened, Kyungsoo's cheek were glowing, almost as brightly as Rudolph's nose on foggy Christmas Eve. 

They have yet to meet the girl, who should've arrived by now. Junmyeon doesn't wait long enough for Kyungsoo to overthink it, fortunately. 

"Alright, everybody!" Junmyeon claps his hands excitedly and picks up the camera he had set down when he went to help Sehun. "Gather up, it's picture time!" 

Chanyeol, Sehun, and Kyungsoo huddle together for the picture. "Okay, I want big smiles, everyone say cheese." 

The process of taking decent photos is proven to be more difficult than Junmyeon thought it ever would be, mainly because Kyungsoo was giving him this fake, half assed smile and after trying to coax a real smile out of him - and it not working - Junmyeon gives up and sticks with the photos he got. 

"Kyungsoo, baby, come here," Junmyeon waves him over and Kyungsoo listens obediently. "What's wrong?" 

Kyungsoo looks down so that Junmyeon is only looking at the top of his head. "Nothing, Appa..." 

"It's not nothing. Come on, Kyungsoo, tell me what's on your mind." Junmyeon reaches out and pets his hair just like he used to when he was younger. 

He hesitates. "She stood me up. Wouldn't you be upset?"

Junmyeon sighs and tilts his son's head up. "Kyungsoo, my baby, my moomoo. Don't let it get to you. Maybe something happened and she had to go straight to the dance. And if it is true that she stood you up, then excuse my potty mouth, but fuck her. That only goes to show that she doesn't deserve someone as handsome, gentlemanly, and caring as you. I want you to have fun, regardless of what happens when you get to the dance. Okay, moos? Can you do that for me?"

For the first time, Kyungsoo cracks a genuine smile. "Yes, Appa, I'll have a good time no matter what." 

Junmyeon smiles back. "That's my boy. Now go, Minseok won't wait forever, Sehun and Chanyeol are already in the car." He embraces his son, kissing his temple gently. 

Kyungsoo nods and turns once released, walking out of the door and heading into Minseok's car. 

Tears fill Junmyeon's eyes as he thinks about how much his son has grown in the past years, how much he's watched Sehun grow, how much he's watched Yifan grow, how much he's watched himself grow. It feels like just yesterday that he held Kyungsoo for the first time, and yet here he is, two sons and a husband that he loves very much. It's enough to make a man cry. 

Arms wrap around his waist from behind and then there's a sudden weight on his shoulder. "Are you crying, baby?" 

Junmyeon scoffs and uses a finger to quickly flick away the tear that slipped from his eye. "Crying? What do you take me for, Yifan?" 

Another trickle of water dribbles down his face, Yifan reaches up and wipes it off for him this time. He can see the involuntary pout forming on his lips as he watches their sons leaving for prom. "This is so like you, Junmyeon." Even though Yifan's teasing him, he can hear the big, loving smile in his voice. 

"I'm your husband, you fool." Junmyeon smacks one of the arms on his waist. "Be nice to me." 

"Never." Yifan grips Junmyeon’s chin and turns his head so they’re face to face. “You’re cute.” 

“I know.” Junmyeon raises a shoulder in a shrug. “Love you, FanFan.” 

“Love you too, Jun.” They share a gentle kiss. 

Junmyeon stares into Yifan’s eyes tenderly. “Thank you for sharing your life with me.” 

Yifan chuckles and smiles. “Without you, Jun, I don’t think I would be as happy as I am right now. I’m so deeply in love with you and with the life we built together.” 

Junmyeon feels a big smile force it’s way on his lips at the sudden admission, crinkles gathering in the corners of his eyes, eyes small crescents, happiness seeping out of his expression. His cheeks start hurting from smiling so hard and he has to try his best to tame it so he can speak. “Me too, Yifan.” 

Pink dusts his cheeks and he chuckles, his head tilting down, then he’s looking up at Yifan from underneath his eyelashes. He feels the breath being pulled from his lungs. Even after so long, Yifan still affects Junmyeon, the same spark, the same renewal of feelings, the same love continuing to flourish and thrive. And so he repeats-

“Me too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s the end! omg I made it lol  
> sorry if it was abrupt to you or something, but I meant for this to be a short story so here you go  
> thank you for the endless support, for those of you who commented and those of you who didn’t, I really appreciate you taking the time out of your day to read this!  
> I always get a little anxious and nervous when posting endings so I really hope you liked the story! please stay safe everyone and have a great day whether it’s night time or there’s daylight ❤️
> 
> follow me if you’d like: [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/heart_xiu)

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos always appreciated! hope you enjoyed the first chapter!   
> follow me if you'd like: [twitter](https://twitter.com/heart_xiu)


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